Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group
The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...
So, yes, I feel like an idiot. I've been going back and forth with my son's asst. principal for months now. And for the second time or so, I completely lost my cool. I knew I was upset. For that matter, I was emotional this morning just due to lack of sleep and taking my puppies to get neutered. I had already walked 3 miles at 90 degrees and 90% humidity for my classes. I was not in a good space to be talking with a man that I already know I've had words with and it didn't go well. So, I did a bunch of breathing, tried to formulate a logical plan for the conversation. And yep, it all just went to hell. After I completely lost my cool, complete with semi-tears, flushed face and incoherent blabbering...I took my son out and left. Not sure I even want to take him back for the last 4 days. On the way out, the principal said to the room at large, "I'm used to that with her".
Thing is - now that I'm home and cooled off, I feel like an idiot. I don't feel wrong about my stance with this principal because they gave my son 3 days of in-school suspension because I didn't have the gas to take him to Saturday school this past weekend...and I just won't have my son punished for my lacking gas or lack of calling in beforehand to let them know or whatever. I just wish I could control my emotions and sound calm and logical the entire time instead of having what amounts to a break down over such situations! Urgh!!!
Do you ever just feel like an idiot??
Thing is - now that I'm home and cooled off, I feel like an idiot. I don't feel wrong about my stance with this principal because they gave my son 3 days of in-school suspension because I didn't have the gas to take him to Saturday school this past weekend...and I just won't have my son punished for my lacking gas or lack of calling in beforehand to let them know or whatever. I just wish I could control my emotions and sound calm and logical the entire time instead of having what amounts to a break down over such situations! Urgh!!!
Do you ever just feel like an idiot??
First of all, take a deep breath and relax. I can totally relate to how you reacted and felt afterwards. Now what you have to do is stop beating yourself over this. I have blown up at people who have rightly deserved my wrath at that moment and I felt good and empowered that I had 'spoken up.' That is until the feelings of guilt, embarrassment (and I think this one is the 'Biggie' for me), paralyzed with fear that I was going to 'get into trouble' for what I said; that I would lose my job, etc. You name it, I had it all swirling through my head......I have felt like an idiot. I couldn't forgive myself, etc.
All I could do is ride out the emotions that were swirling through my head, along with the rehashing over-and-over, again-and-again, in my head of what happened. It just seemed like a rerun that needed to burn itself out and I couldn't do it voluntarily - it had to run it's course. I have exhausted myself over situations. The funny things is that the other people involved in the situations probably never gave it a second thought - it was only I who was keeping the situation alive in my head.
I still do it but I don't seem to do it as much, and for as long as I used to in the past. I don't know what the magic solution to 'letting go' of things like this might be. I don't really know if we ever will be really able to. Maybe they just lessen as time passes.
My advice to you is to go lie down and try to take a nap. Hopefully you will feel a little bit better as the day passes. You need to take care of yourself now - and not worry about the school principal. And, NO, you ARE NOT an idiot - you are a human being who just reached her saturation point and everything had to be released. Hang in there.
It's going to be okay - just know that life goes on and you are only human.
Hugs and love to you
Rose
Your post really hit home with me as I have been dealing with my son's school and asst principal, teachers for the past couple of months. It has been very difficult and I also blew up. They have labeled him as a trouble maker and he can't sneeze without getting detention. He's had to report to Saturday School also. The asst-principal is such a $#&*!, to say the least. My son shuts down and puts up a brick wall when people nag on him, so they think he being "defiant." I went to the school twice for meetings which did no good what so ever, as the school wants to just say he's a bad kid, take no responsibility for anything and blame us as parents. His teachers were emailing me and tattling so to speak, on him asking me what THEY should do. I was so frustrated I lost my cool too. We are trying to get him in another school next year. I feel the school system is failing my son. He is very bright and scores well above average on state tests, yet he is failing. He tells me hates school. How is a kid supposed to do well in this type of environment where he feels his teachers and principal hate him? What is wrong with this picture? He is a fine young man who is being completely misunderstood. He is shy type and they tell me he is depressed or something is wrong with him. I've had him evaluated for depression. He is not defiant or disrespectful at home. I didn't want him to finish the year either. I wanted to take him out too. But, there wasn't anything I could do. I had done everything I possibly could. I had a terrible time with anxiety and about went nuts with worry for my son. Thank goodness its only a few more days.
I really ranted here, but I feel your pain in dealing with a school. And when it comes to our children, if it's happening to them, it's happening to us. I left a really crazy angry voice mail for the Head Principal, 2 weeks ago. He didn't even bother to return my call. This school has lost all respect from me.
Don't feel bad about blowing up. I would have too in your situation! We have to be the adult voice for our children. They don't have the knowledge or experience to understand. The way my son has been treated just kills me inside.
Best to you and your son.
It was really just a frustrating experience that I think became more of a power play between this principal and myself than having anything to do with my son or his eduation....and that is very unfortunate. There are times I just hate being an emotional, sensitive person. It really makes even the most legitimate of arguments seem childish when you can't communicate in a clear, logical manner (as is obviously expected). I just had enough of hearing "it's parents like you" and "I'm used to that from her" type statements from this man, especially after I had meeting after meeting with everyone in that school regarding my son, Aspergers, our tragic past history, and several sociological/psychological studies on effective ways of dealing with children in the public school setting with absolutely no response from any of those that would give my son detention and Sat. school for the most ridiculous of premises.
Sometimes, it just feels like if I could speak as well as I write from here in my safe place, it would be much more effective :)