Yeah pretty much all i do is worry too. Whether it be to the extreme or little petty things. For example, i will worry about whether or not someone got from point a to point b safely and until i get contact with them i will worry. and thats annoying to most people the overly worrying. its annoying to me that i worry so much. it becomes exhausting. And then I also worry about my actions and if they are the right actions. i worry that i apologize to much, i worry that i may say the wrong thing in a converation so i just keep my mouth shut and listen (im so much better at listening then talking. im a great talker through text or computer but when it comes to putting words to things its tough ...unless im very close with you). I have allowed people to walk all over me because i just want to make people happy, but its getting very exhausting so now i worry that if im short or rude to someone then ill lose my friend. or i worry if i give in then its going to be an endless process. pretty much anything you can worry about i do it. I still havent figured out what part of me is related to the HSP and what part is something else. im so confused as to who i really am and how i can get someone to except who i am. ill never be happy completely until i find that. Im a good person but once i get close to someone and my sensitiveness really starts flaring (or they see it more cause we are closer). I cry a lot. A LOT. it can because i see someone light up because of happiness or in pain or sad. and i cry. I love watching romance movies or tv shows because i like the way the romantic connections make me feel. they make me cry, they make me happy, they take me to another place that i hope to be one day. so for that 30-90 minutes im in a place where my heart smiles. I just dont know how to seperate all the different emotions my body goes through constantly. i can go from being happy, to being sad, to feeling awkward in 10 minutes. I'll get frustrated if im trying to talk to someone and they dont listen or they interupt me or make me repeat myself. Im always focused. i just want to do what i got to do and be done with it. and yes i love being alone. i love being home. I dont mind if i have company once in awhile but its nice to not feel like i have to entertain. i have feeling like i have to work at making people comfortable. but all while this is going on im happy. its so weird. and very confusing. ive had all these thoughts in my mind for years and years. ive always told my friends that im different from the normal person and they laugh it off. they just dont get it or believe me. i know when something is wrong with someone..just by a look across the room. I just wish i knew how to handle myself in every situation. Like, i want to be nice to everyone and get along. i like to talk out my problems but people dont listen, they think im always trying to excuse myself (or thats how i feel they feel). I am always the one that is wrong to everyone, and i always start the fights (or so my best friend/roommate says)..but yet she always tries to pick little fights. But i feel like im being a bad person when i just blow off her comments because im "not caring" but if i do show emotion then it turns into a fight and its just frustrating. Ok sorry everyone for the endless ramble. it just all kept coming to me. I probably didnt even say everything i wanted to. I hope that you are all having a wonderful week. tomorrow is FRIDAY!! :-)

My husband used to tell me years ago that I was like the catcher in the outfield, only my outfielder's glove was the size of a satellite antennae (you know the old black metal kind that people had in their yards 20 years ago) and this antennae-size glove would be on my hand and I would be running around yelling 'Here I am, Here I am, Come Get me......' And, wouldn't you know it, they (you name it) got me.

yeah its like we dont even have to yell... somehow people find us... You are very lucky that your husband understands and works with you. Ive yet to find someone who gives me that chance and tries to actually understand. (and when i was like 15 my parents had one of those satellites in their back yard and i was mowing the lawn and there is a LOT of lawn and yup...i managed to crash into it with the riding lawn mower...i guess your husband had a good analogy. Cause i somehow was drawn to it). Thank you so much for your words. i truely love the people on here. everyone is so great and to just feel through the words the understanding and care from everyone. its amazing. its made the last few days bare-able. Thank you

Suzie - You need a Hug Too!!!! So, I'm sending one your way right now! Suzie - please don't be so hard on yourself right now. I speak from experience. In retrospect, I wish I had let things slide, but I couldn't - I didn't know how to do that. I'm not even sure now that I can, I only know that it gets easier with time. Many of the things you talk about - I have gone through them too. You are not alone. Always remember that you have friends here on the group who understand. You are not alone.... We understand.

...its so weird that people actually do understand. Ive felt alone/different for so long. To everyone ive always been "stubborn" but i always knew it was more then that. There is a deeper root meaning to everything to me. i think into everything and will analyze the heck out of it. so its very very weird to me....its going to take getting used to but knowing i have DS has been a great thing for me. Most webpages are blocked by my company at work but yet dailystrength.com works so once or twice a day i get on at work just to read everyones inspiration.

Suzie, It would be nice if the people we are closest to would just accept us for who we are. Being sensitive is hard for most people to understand. All my life, the messages I received were that "something is wrong with me". That certainly never helped my self-esteem. Even now it's hard for people to understand. They just don't get it at all. Sometimes people just think I am too fragile or too complicated. We all want to be respected ... is that too much to ask? Thank you for being with us. It helps so much to know we are not alone.

Hi Suzie -

You mention that you over analyze - Oh my goodness, that is exactly what I would do. I tried to understand the situation; other people's reactions to it; why it happened; why I reacted the way I did; why they reacted the way they did; what did I do wrong, and so on. Then, I continued to work myself up into a bigger frenzy because I felt guilty about my reaction (even when I was justified in doing so); then the 'topper' of them all for me was that I am now in trouble with whomever (my boss, the police, the neighbors, etc.) - It didn't matter who it was, I 'was in for it now.' Guess what? Nothing ever came of these things. I did not do anything that would have warranted their 'intervention' - the only place it was occurring was in my head.

I once told someone off at work - rightly so. I felt good at that moment and I felt 'empowered.' Well, that was until the 'guilt' part of me took over. Then the cascade of emotions turned the opposite way - I was 'nasty,' I was going to get into trouble; I was going to get called into my boss' office; I would get fired, etc. Another guess what? - It never happened. The other person went on, probably 'pissed-off' but their life continued on anyway. Not mine, I was so 'jangled' that I couldn't let it go. Wow.

I once saw a young man who was in a wheel-chair and most likely had cerebral palsy - now I got so upset over this (and about the condition of his life, etc.), I got in my car and burst out crying so bad. OK, I'm not putting anyone down who has this, but there was nothing I could do to change this. But what happened to me later? I was so upset and crying, well, I developed a migraine - a sick, wind up in the emergency room type of migraine. So I paid the price for the 3 days it took me to get over it and the effects of the drugs they gave me there.

I reacted and screamed at someone over a situation with having parked my car in a local convenience store, I didn't want the child who was getting into the car next to me (she in the back seat and opening the door) to hit my car with the door because the father in that car had parked too close to the line so it was a tight squeeze to get into the car. The mother said something defensive, I reacted verbally because all I could think of was the cost to get a big dent repaired. I left before they did. Of course, I freaked out that they would follow me and/or call the police to report me, etc. For what? I didn't do anything wrong - just that my stress and worries, etc. came tumbling out that I was vocal.

There are so many more stories that I could tell you about. So, you see, I have done them too. I have stressed, worried, freaked-out, panicked, cried, ....... All for what I now look back on and amaze myself at my reactions. Anger? - had plenty of that. Mental pain? - had plenty of that too. Just like I mentioned in a previous post - about the train on the 'circular loop to nowhere' that was in my head, I know all about that train.

I have been in counseling over the years and I found it to be helpful. It took some trial-and-error to eventually find the counselor who helped me the most and it was about 6 months ago. But it took me years. One of the things she had me do was write letters to those who who most affected me. No-one but me (and her) were to see them. Some I was told to just tear up afterwards. I think it was the act of writing that helped me to 'let-go.' Again, not easy but do-able. Have you looked into any type of counseling?

I look back over my life and remember incidents and think "Wow." So, you are not alone when we here on this group say we understand. We Do!

I totally respect you Janvier, I would say more than you know, but I guess you already know that! Too right, it's been a hard life being misunderstood, glad there is finally place now where we can all understand each other my empathic friend.

I know just how you feel with the constant worrying Crying, I think it's just the world we are incompatible with at times, sometimes we react and it causes surprise to people, but with each other we shouldnt feel the need for such reactions. I can really sympathize with you about seeing handicapped people. It's always painful to meet anyone who has just a simple issue, but it is most difficult for us to encounter someone we feel we don't know how to help, it's like there is nothing we can do about our pain at such times. In such times we must have faith in a greater power, and know that everyone has their purpose and life to lead. I think your stories there are a good example of how all the worrying in the world wont change anything, so we are just worrying for nothing. I think this rant has been good for you to let a lot of your memories out.

Treat your head like a train station-when these negative thoughts move in-move them on like a trainmaster otherwise you start a real spiral. It took me years to learn this skill-I had to. The depression that resulted from allowing these thoughts to stay was too high. THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOU. HSP tend to video play negative scenes over and over in their minds-so change the scene to black and white to lower emotional impact and then shrink it . Better still-get rid of it.

Another thing i would highly recommend is running. Its like being on medication without side effects. I can handle most things after a run. Endorphins.

I still cant believe how much everyone really understands. Its like a dream everytime i get on here and read someones comments about exactly whats going on in my head. I would love to run..but i am told that i dont really run i hop...haha...so im kinda to shy to run in public but i will try to think of something that will get my Endorphins going to take my mind off negative situations. Its just amazing how your mind lets you see negative situations soooo indepth but rarely do you have indepth thoughts about something that could be positive. but then again as positive i try to be there is that piece of me that is to positive i "worry" that itll go wrong.

Crying: I dont really yell at strangers to their face because i dont want to hurt them (i guess im to shy..i tend not to stick up for myself as much as id like..cause i dont want people judging me more then i feel they already do)...but in my head i will be cursing them out or if i was in a location they couldn't hear me. But then a piece of my does feel bad for that but yet so angry and frustrated at the same time.

Thank you all so much for your words and relating your situations. Its amazing. How are you all able to control your HSP in a relationship without driving that person away. People usually run from me when they get close and see how overly sensitive i am about things.

To Suzie and all here I hope for you freedom from all the worry. I think too Suzie that people "run" from me, they are overwhelmed by my sensitivity, my worry, it also irritates them, they say why worry? Just let it go-I am trying to do that.

I worry-agonize so much my thoughts race, thoughts go round and round, just a mad rush. I was told once by a interviewer for a job I was interviewing for that my thinking was going so fast that my words were trying to catch up, I talk too fast too, have a stutter.

I will go round and round so much I feel physically ill, my stomach hurts, my head hurts. I cannot focus, can't concentrate.

I breathe in shallow breaths, fast, no deep breathing, or even regular breathing. Have hyperventilated once, I could not breathe! I freaked , got a paper bag, like I had read once, breathed into it, I keep one now -just in case.

I learned about deep breathing from my counselor, to use imagery, to imagine I am by a calm river, or lake, sitting on a rock, seeing, hearing, the sights, sounds, to relax

I try to relax but sometimes I just can't. Then I will go listen to music on headphones, that helps

Other times I feel so fatigued from all the thoughts I go lie down, try to escape my worry- thoughts by sleeping, and I feel SO tired, just exhausted!

Yeah its really stressing me out. And my actions and feelings are constantly used against me. today i got into it with my friend. Well she got upset because i was checking facebook on commercials (yet she was texting the entire time) and i was like its ok... im watching the show. Its a commericial and she called me pathetic. I just laughed. As much as it hurt me i just laughed because i knew that she wanted to make me cry. So the more i laughed the more she kept calling me names and putting me down. Yet in her eyes i really was the one who did something wrong. but i knew i didnt do anything wrong. So since i didnt cry and didnt argue back she started in on picking on stuff ive said in the past. Suprised i hadnt started with the croccodile tears, and how no one understands me and im all alone and how nothing i say is ever my own thought (when in fact everything i say is my own thought) and on and on and on. and then she starts in and says that shes not the only one who feels that way. and i said thats fine because you and anyone else who feel that way dont really kno'w me. I told her "after 2 years she doesnt know me at all." and she says "thats the problem i do know you". But really she doesnt. She is always nagging everything i do. if i put a dish in the sink. Im a horrible person. if i defend myself...im speaking for everyone else or saying something that i read somewhere and not for myself because apparently I am not allowed to have my own thoughts. And this person is my roommate. I cant really up and move out but i just dont know what else to do. ive tried soo hard. Ive given up on fighting back because she wants to fight. She wants to break me. And inside its working but on the outside im trying to be so tough. But honestly the last few days if i hadnt found this site when i had..id probably be loosing my mind. Why cant people just care, be sensitive, and live, and love, and worry. We have a heart. we care about people and things. When did that become so wrong. and why doesnt ANYONE want to accept it.

I also catch myself stuttering a word or two lately. I always get picked on for that too. I didnt understand why its been happening (its not a really really bad stutter but i do think i always am thinking so much at one time that it gets jumbled in my head when i try to get it out). Thats also apparent in my typing. Im all over the place.

Ive never felt like what ive had to say really mattered to anyone or that anyone REALLY listened until you guys. and that means a lot. just the feedback this topic has received and amazing. id never think that someone would actually take the time out to respond to something i have to say. but it never fails here. dailystrengh.org is a godsend. found it just when i needed it most.

Suzie -

We are so glad you are here! Remember, you are not alone! Hang in there... We understand.

I agree, it does make a huge difference to know we are not alone with our feelings.