I suspect you are being very harsh on yourself. Something must have gone right in your life? We all get stuck in a rut-a rut sounds where yo are .Could you be more specific? What exactly is going on? But Yes I often feel that my life is wasting/wasted but if I dig really deep I can normally point to something positive. Can you?

I kno wut u mean DreamyHope i think im waisting life I say waisting life is not living every day ta the fullest like me i have a scedral an i never step foot out of it there for im not realy living just following a peice of paper So far i have things ta live for i have found a dad on here an my puppy thats all i have i have no motivation ta get better or no hope that things will get better the world is ending slowly but surly an life is ending all we can do is pray an try ta be there for each other when all things fail I will pry for ya an ur not alone

Hi DreamyHope
I can so relate. What you are feeling is actually a good thing however. This suffering is bringing you closer to awareness.

Stop. Ask your mind "what are you going to think of next?" and wait........ Close your eyes and do it.



How long did it take for another thought to come in? Now, before this thought, who are you? Are you the thought? No, you are the observer. You are not your thoughts. We are thinking ourselves out of living. Now that you know you are not your thoughts, look inside and remember who you really are. You are beautiful.

"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

To me what dreamyhope is describing sounds like "Depression". Most of us have been there at times. The winter blues and lack of sunshine contributes to these down emotions. When one is down everything seems hopeless and negative. The question is what to do to get yourself motivated. We have to motivate ourselves and try new things. Sure, life is the pits, but its the only life we know. Here are some ideas: Read a self-help book and go to an exercise class or yell at me and call me stupid. Our life is only wasted if we waste it. Be grateful for your health and life as it could get much worse.

Having balance , is important to inspire us to engage more with life. Becoming more productive, more focused, and more concerned about bringing health to the physical, the mental, and the spiritual part of our beings. Look for activities you find yourself doing during the week: determine how stale, routine, uneventful, comfortable, predictable, and unchallenging they are. Find ways of making them more lively.
Connect with nature: walking or sitting in a natural setting, this allows you to slow down, drop routines, and absorb the influence of the place.
Make a list of those in your life whose company you feel more alive, happy, and optimistic and make an effort to spend more time with them.
Bring nature into your home to enjoy its beauty.
Do some sort of service work-giving of your time and energy to help others.
Listen to music you find inspirational and uplifting.
Our lives have more meaning when we love ourselves and others... Having a gratitude journal is helpful to change your mind set to a more positive outlook...I hope you feel better soon.

I agree with Nabby. You're the only one who can change your situation. Waiting for things to happen doesn't work. Change your perception in a positive way, and then notice all the opportunities that arise around you. My motto is "you'll see it when you believe it" , but most people think the opposite and become stuck. I was at an extremely stressful job for 12 years and when the opportunity came to transfer, I almost didn't take it, but I took the risk, and it changed my life for the better. Change is the only thing you can count on, so seize every opportunity. In my short life, being miserable is not an option.

Hello, thanks for all those advice.
I keep telling myself that it's only me who can change the situation for the better or for the worse. I constantly keep telling myself that but in vain. This feeling of lack of motivation and boredom is stronger than me. I do not know how to get out of it. I feel like screaming my lungs out. I feel so underprivileged and miserable.
I want to start something afresh and forget all those who criticism and let me down far away. I want to run far away, live another life. This life over here is getting really cumbersome, that too with my parents. I have realized that I do not like my dad at all, but cannot stop listening to him. I want to go far away from him.
He has always thrusted his decisions upon me and I guess he just does not care about my happiness, he cares only for himself. I really despise him right now, well it has been more than 2 years that I resent this hateful feeling about him. As a parent, he has always let me down and only crticized.
How can you maintain a positive attitude in these siuations. I feel all alone with noone to care for me and those who care for me, maybe does not bother whether I am really happy or not. I do not have so many friends coz I am too choosy. I do not want people to hurt me as it has always been. Well, I feel so desperate. What more to say? I am unhappy.

It could be that you are depressed. Have you looked into counselling? I am going to start CBT soon, and that is supposed to help with motivation. There are also helplines and other numbers here: http://www.dailystrength.org/help/crisis-resources

Have you looked into moving out? Look into rentals in an area you would want to live in, work out how much you would need to save for a deposit and how much per month for bills etc, and work towards that goal. But don't expect it to be easy. Whoever you live with there are compromises to be made, or if you live alone the financial burden and worry is greater and you may be lonely.

Try to think about things from your dad's point of view and work out why he says the things he does, why he feels the way he does, and why you are having this reaction to him. My dad died when I was a baby and I have always wondered what he was like, and when I see girls with their dads I feel envious of them. My mum did her utmost to support us but there is still an empty space where my dad should be, I have no idea what I inherited from him and there is nobody to ask. My sister never even saw him. I am lucky to have a stepdad, not everyone would take on a single mum with 2 kids and he has done his best despite our challenges. But from my perspective you are incredibly lucky to have a dad and should try and work through your difficulties with him. You never know how long he will be around.

In the meantime, write a gratitude journal as others have suggested. I found the website tinybuddha helpful. Feel grateful you have both parents alive and able to financially support you, paying bills and able to afford luxuries like Christmas presents. Feel grateful you have your own bedroom with a comfortable bed, and a roof over your head, a home to come back to. Feel grateful your country is governed democratically and not war-torn and dangerous. You are able to go to school safely every day and be taught to a level you choose, not all girls are able to do that.

It might help to volunteer with truly underprivileged people, maybe the homeless or overseas. At this time of year there are homeless shelters and soup kitchens who are crying out for volunteers. That will give you a sense of how lucky you are, as well as keeping you moving and getting you out and about so you aren't moping indoors. That is the temptation at this time of year and is a bad idea.

Your body too is an amazing organic machine. Think of the things it does without you even having to think - breathing, blinking, salivating, digesting food, seeing, hearing, touching, converting food into fuel for your body to move and your brain to think. All of these processes are intricate and complex, yet the first you know of most of them is if something goes wrong. Feel thankful for your body and its ability to carry you through life.

Regarding friends, you need to work out what is best for you. Some people are happy not to have too many, and are more solitary, and content with their own company. Others are happy having many friends around them. The worst thing is when you are one, and feel envious of the other, like if you are solitary and envy sociable people, or if you are sociable and hold yourself back. You need to work our your true nature and be truthful to it, and not try and be or want to be something you are not. There is nothing wrong with being choosy with friends. If that is you, then be proud of it and learn ways to support and love yourself.

Depression can suck the life out of you and anxiety can wind it up into oblivion. I hope you know that you are breathing so that is not a waste, and hope that you can find some meaning in life no matter how small that may seem, and will find your way out of this mind set.

HUGS to you friend

And also can find your way free from the restrictions, and unhappiness you feel.

I feel quite a bit like this today.

I think it got triggerred by a pretty trivial thing yesterday. My sister was talking about holidays -she goes on SO MANY. At least one a year, and often overseas. She earns a lot of money. She is also a brash extrovert, and can be shockingly arrogant at times.

For me, I have barely been on holidays anywhere. Had very big anxiety problems through most of my twenties and couldn't work for several years. ....Now, even at 34, my past holds me back: I get rejection after rejection for jobs I apply for. So I am still impoverished.

It just adds to the feeling of ineffectualness, and of being basically rejected by my society.

It feels like people will tend to view me in terms of 'mentally ill', rather than a sensitive person -which is a good thing- who has a weakness for anxiety. And I feel locked out of employment -told that I'm not good enough, yet again; nevermind that I am smart, a good worker and gentle towards others.

Then there is the other thing in my life: lack of fulfilling relationships. I have only one good friend -my cousin, who gives me good feedback (WOW!!! -FANCY THAT!) for being who I am. She actually respects sensitive people and sees it as a good thing -instead of treating you as inferior, like most people end up doing. ...But other than her, I have really no close friends. And just acquaintance friends who I lost touch with on account of that they expected me to be more extroverted and just wouldn't allow me to have more alone time, or quieter time, like I genuinely need.

Overall, I just feel misused and like I'm a species that the world judges as inferior -to be left with fewer resources, access to involvement and unincluded.

I feel dissillusioned. Like trying is almost pointless, since it is highly unlikely I'll find people who appreciate my nature, and who won't just allow me to be introverted -but who'll try to change me and make me feel like I'm mentally ill or defective, just because I am not able to handle the same amount of stimulation that they insist I should handle.

It's just rough. I have put on loads and loads of weight -without properly being aware of it. ...But I don't have the motivation to take it off, to exercise. -I just end up feeling: What's the point??

It's hard to defy history, when for years -even when you seem to be doing what you can to adapt- you just meet the same disappointing experiences.

The only positives are some relationships at my previous job (which ended 6 months ago) but these are all acquaintances. These are fine, but close strong friendships are what bring me meaning, and these seem almost impossible to find.

-Everything is about extroversion -competing and always being on the go. ...I CAN'T keep up. I don't even want to. But this doesn't change the fact that the world at large, says that I HAVE to or I'm not worth much as a person.

Maybe this is why I feel so defeated. ...That it feels like the majority of people undervalue my real nature and are too busy being competitive to leave any room to a person who is slower paced and sensitive.

You might be depressed. Go see a therapist. I think volunteering is so good for us. I have always volunteered my whole life. I find when I help someone else, I feel good about myself. And, I forget why I felt so bad in the first place! You might need some meds. to make you not to feel so sad. This is probably your depression talking, and not really you. You are not alone! There is an angel on your shoulder.....that's me!

Circe, I think what might help is to value yourself for who you are, rather than feeling this pressure to be someone else. Try and feel OK being on your own and do things to care for yourself. If you dislike yourself you will project this out, even without meaning to. It will also be difficult to form relationships with others if you do not like yourself. But if you value yourself, this will also be apparent to others. It may attract them but if not it won't matter to you. You may need some help doing this, it is not shameful to ask for it, maybe from your doctor or a mental health charity.

As for the lack of relationships, I think many people have these acquaintances who they don't really know, it is hard to have real friends. Nowadays the 'facebook' thing is in fashion, it is all about how many friends you have not the quality of each friendship, even if all you know about them is they once put a funny post on their wall and you 'liked' it. The truth is, friends come and go, sometimes you will meet people and at other times you or they will change and might drift away. It might be worth trying to find meaning elsewhere, and in yourself. But if you want to make friends it is hard work. Maybe look for people who share your interests, try a Yahoo or meetup group or online forum and build things up slowly. Try to involve people in what you enjoy - if you enjoy quiet time maybe invite them to see a museum or gallery, or to walk around a park or garden with you.

What employment would be possible for you? Is there a way of getting a job which links to your interests and experience? Even if it is low paid, money isn't everything.

Hi DreamyHope,

thank you for posting and being so honest about how you feel. So often in this life we feel the need to censor ourselves and say/write what we think we should and not always what is our reality. I want you to know I hear you and I hear your struggles.

oh,you are right on !!! like I tell most everyone,how I see life,and that is,like a shit sandwhich,and every day,is another bite !!! I probably wouldn'y know how to act,or feel,if my life ever went the way I wanted or planned it to do..I spend alot of time,especially after my parents died,evaluating my life..And what I see,I don't like,call me a pessamist if you will,but thats what I see..I come from a crappy abusive marriage,with alot of negitivity and anger ,and I wonder,if it is at all written in the wind,that I will find true love and contentment..I rather doubt it,but I will never give up trying to find it,before I die...