High School Stress Support Group
This community is dedicated to many issues that can appear in high school, including relationships, academic issues, questions about college and future plans, pressure from friends or parents, or anything else you want to chat about. High school can be stressful and overwhelming. This is a safe place to say what's on your mind and find support.
ok so heres a truely terrifying thought (at least for me).
so my home life is in shambles. i live with my mom who is bipolar, it just me, her and my little sister and for years its been my job to sorta hold things together. for a long time no one knew how bad it was for me. my mom was never home, she was always out with friend and going to bars and shit like that, then she would come home tell me to make coffee and then tell me how great her life is. all the while im at home knee high in dishes and dirt looking at a near empty fridge (my mom didnt like to go grocery shoping) and skipping lunch most days to make the food last longer. its just chaos. pure disfunctional chaos and i cant take it anymore. my moms paraniod and emotionaly abusive in this disgustingly passive way. and she doesnt even realize that she hurts me.
im in 11th grade now, one more year. but the thing is i dont know if i can handle one more year. so i already know that something has to change. so the plan was that i would go live with my dad and commute an hour everyday to school. and this could work, i know it could work. but god, id still be so close to the situation. my mom would still be caling me and asking for favors and playing the pathetic victum roll. i feel this uncontrollable need to just get far far away from this chaos. and moving to my dads would help but..
so i had this really scary thought. my grandmother lives in nevada. i live in california. and i know that she would welcom me and we are really close. shes the most stable person i know. and maybe i could even be a help to her. i could always move here for my senior year.
but its my senior year!! id be leaving all my friends and just everything, all of it behind. ive had the same best friends for 7 fucking years. and id moving to a whole new state. and worse its entirly my decision to make, so it would be me bringing this on to myself.
has anybody here had to switch high schools?? particularly for there senior year? whats it like? is it really as scary and huge as it sounds right now.
i have no idea what i should do :(
so my home life is in shambles. i live with my mom who is bipolar, it just me, her and my little sister and for years its been my job to sorta hold things together. for a long time no one knew how bad it was for me. my mom was never home, she was always out with friend and going to bars and shit like that, then she would come home tell me to make coffee and then tell me how great her life is. all the while im at home knee high in dishes and dirt looking at a near empty fridge (my mom didnt like to go grocery shoping) and skipping lunch most days to make the food last longer. its just chaos. pure disfunctional chaos and i cant take it anymore. my moms paraniod and emotionaly abusive in this disgustingly passive way. and she doesnt even realize that she hurts me.
im in 11th grade now, one more year. but the thing is i dont know if i can handle one more year. so i already know that something has to change. so the plan was that i would go live with my dad and commute an hour everyday to school. and this could work, i know it could work. but god, id still be so close to the situation. my mom would still be caling me and asking for favors and playing the pathetic victum roll. i feel this uncontrollable need to just get far far away from this chaos. and moving to my dads would help but..
so i had this really scary thought. my grandmother lives in nevada. i live in california. and i know that she would welcom me and we are really close. shes the most stable person i know. and maybe i could even be a help to her. i could always move here for my senior year.
but its my senior year!! id be leaving all my friends and just everything, all of it behind. ive had the same best friends for 7 fucking years. and id moving to a whole new state. and worse its entirly my decision to make, so it would be me bringing this on to myself.
has anybody here had to switch high schools?? particularly for there senior year? whats it like? is it really as scary and huge as it sounds right now.
i have no idea what i should do :(
Second of all, I would like to say I understand your situation with your mother. My mother is also bipolar. I used to think she hated me, and I couldn't take the emotional hurt she brought on me. I hated the manipulation and guilt-tripping and paranoia. But I'm more understanding of her now. I know that she doesn't hurt me intentionally, it's just the illness that makes her like that. Some days she's fine, but others...it's an emotional roller coaster, one I am now riding on. I'm so afraid, now that I know of my own diagnosis, that I will turn out to be just like her, and my children will want to get away from me like you do....Sorry, that was off topic. Just getting some thoughts out!
Lastly, if you haven't made a decision yet, you might want to consider a few things. How will little sister get along if you are gone? How will this affect your mother? Will your friends keep in touch? Are you willing to possibly lose them and make new ones? Is it worth doing when you're so close to be done with school?
You're going to have to leave eventually, though. For college and whatnot? If you go far, you may drift from those friends anyway. I moved schools when I was younger, and the first couple of times, it was in the same city. The last time, however, it was across the country! West to East! It was scary, and yes I have drifted from some old friends, but I have made plenty of new ones. I am still in contact with some of the old ones and have visited them since the move. Whatever you decide to do, things will be okay. And if you move and don't like it, couldn't you come back?
Good luck and I'm here if you need to talk at all .
and the fact that my sisters here is probaly one of the hardest parts of this whole thing, and i honestly dont know what to do about it. in a perfect world it wouldnt be my job to take care of her, im simply not always going to be here. and also my sisters relationship with our mom is very diffrent. my mom doesnt expect holly (my sister) to take care of her the way she expects it of me. so i dont know how shed fare without me here.
and as for my friends, they'd keep in touch with me. and if they dont then obviously we werent as close as i thought we were. so thats not really an issue i dont think (though it still really really sucks)
and the hardest part is no, i dont think i could come back.. i dont know if my mom would want me back (depends on the mood shes in i suppose)
so yeah still dont know what to do..
but im not sure that child services could figure this out any better than i could. i wish they could though, itd be nice if someone could just come along and give me all the right answers
in the long run does it really matter where you graduate from?? idk..
ughhh i feel so melodramatic, i dont usually freak out over things. but this is hella stressing me out
but gaa my dad is makeing this hard, and he doesnt even know it. we've had some really bad things between us in the past but for the past couple months it been really good. and today he said how he really cant wait till i move in with him. and a week ago out of the blue he told me that he actually liked the person i was becoming.
and seeing that last summer when i told him i was depressed and had tryed to kill myself and was scared out of my mind he told me i was lieing and a dramaqueena. this is a huge thing for me.
because again my other option is that i go live with my dad. but how do i know he wont revert to his old self? i dont know anything.