I've had high blood pressure since I was 35, I will be 60 this September. In all these years and so many, many medications, my blood pressure is never been under control. My readings are always 160-200/95-110. I am amazed that I've not suffered a stroke or heart attack my now but I thank God I haven't for my husband is disabled and needs me. I am a retired nurse and he has many health issues. My life has been filled with stress and traumatic events starting from the time I was a little girl when my cat died and my Dad made me watch as he buried him and I cried and cried and yelled at my Dad to not throw dirt into my kitty's beautiful green eyes. At the age of 9, my grandfather passed away and we had to hurry and get to Ontario, Canada for his funeral. During the funeral, my grandmother lost it and all I remember is hearing her screaming at the back of the Chapel. I can still hear those screams to this day. A visit one summer to visit this grandma I was playing in the back yard and saw a bucket with a piece of wood on the top of it. As a curious child I went over to check it out and found inside a bucket filled with water and new born kittens swimming for all their might trying to save themselves but with each surfacing, they would then, sink back under the water. I ran screaming to my grandma to help save the kittens and she yelled at me and told me to, "mind my business and leave them alone!" Again, I can still see those helpless kittens trying so hard to live and I was helpless to save them. I could go on but it would take many pages.
High blood pressure runs in my family. My oldest brother had a stroke when he was 55 and then a major stroke hit 3 years later where I and my other brother found him unconscious on his living room floor after having to break into his home. It took him just over 2 days to pass away. As I said my husband is disabled. He became disabled after a major car accident in 2008. The beginning of that year, he almost died from a bowel rupture which left him with a 15 inch incision that couldn't be closed for 3 mos. and he had a colostomy bag as things healed inside and he could have a second surgery to reconnect his bowel. I thought that was bad enough watching him struggle with having horrible dressing changes 3 times a week and a long drive to the hospital every Monday so his wound could be looked at and another dressing change. I'd cringe when we'd go over a bump in the road as it caused him pain and even now if we're driving and hit a bump I still cringe. The accident almost killed my husband as it broke several bones and lacerated his spleen. He had 3 surgeries to repair those bones but he has been left with nerve damage in his left foot and daily pain in his left hip, as his femur was forced through the backside of his hip. Both bones in his lower left arm were shattered and he has limited strength in that arm. Somehow we managed to get through all of that even though for 3 months he had to use a walker as he broke the talus bone in his ankle and was not allowed to put any weight on that foot. The hours spent in PT were so hard but necessary but our insurance pays for only 22 visits per year and he needed a lot more. It was a nightmare. The following year, my husband began having shortness of breath till he couldn't lie down to sleep. After watching him suffering for almost 2 weeks like this, I finally put my foot down and told him he was going to the hospital. That was when he was given the diagnosis of congestive heart failure. It hit me like a ton of bricks because I had no one to lean on or talk to about everything. I truly wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. My only living sibling has never wanted any kind of relationship with me, this has been since we were kids. I've not seen him nor talked with him since after my oldest brother died and we had to arrange his funeral. Sometimes I feel so alone and wake each morning with the fear that my hubby hasn't made it through the night. With all of these things, I began having panic attacks the end of 1998 and within 3 years, I had to stop working as I couldn't drive anymore. I'd get 2 or 3 blocks from home and begin to feel like I couldn't breathe and feeling nauseous.
So, here I sit with high blood pressure which is going to kill me sooner rather then later and I already have less then normal kidney function. Everyday is a struggle for me but I press on doing almost everything to keep our home running. So what can I do? I've tried so many meds for my blood pressure. Some have made me sick, literally. Some have made me so tired and then others and one I take now has given me an ugly rash on my lower legs. Some caused my ankles to swell so the doctor then prescribed a water pill which again made me feel awful. I can't win and I am so tired of the fight. Thanks for taking the time to read my lengthy story and maybe someone has some advice.