Hello! I have had HS my entire life, literally. So, my husband was the only person I've been intimate with. He never really questioned my skin condition. I didn't know what it was until about a year ago. I just assumed it was normal because my mom and grandparents had it. I was completely bummed when I was diagnosed and told their was no cure. I came home and told my husband and he told me that he's not in love with my skin, weight, hair or anything like that. He told me "If you like I'll kill every inch of your skin, including your breakout areas." I started crying and he jokingly did kiss one area. There are of course times when I become self conscious about it, and feel that he may change his mind...but then I remember our past and then smile and forget about it. If he had no issues before he will not have any issues when he sees you again. Our worse enemy with this disease is letting it pull down our spirits.

Hello! I have had HS my entire life, literally. So, my husband was the only person I've been intimate with. He never really questioned my skin condition. I didn't know what it was until about a year ago. I just assumed it was normal because my mom and grandparents had it. I was completely bummed when I was diagnosed and told their was no cure. I came home and told my husband and he told me that he's not in love with my skin, weight, hair or anything like that. He told me "If you like I'll kill every inch of your skin, including your breakout areas." I started crying and he jokingly did kiss one area. There are of course times when I become self conscious about it, and feel that he may change his mind...but then I remember our past and then smile and forget about it. If he had no issues before he will not have any issues when he sees you again. Our worse enemy with this disease is letting it pull down our spirits.

Hello! I have had HS my entire life, literally. So, my husband was the only person I've been intimate with. He never really questioned my skin condition. I didn't know what it was until about a year ago. I just assumed it was normal because my mom and grandparents had it. I was completely bummed when I was diagnosed and told their was no cure. I came home and told my husband and he told me that he's not in love with my skin, weight, hair or anything like that. He told me "If you like I'll kill every inch of your skin, including your breakout areas." I started crying and he jokingly did kiss one area. There are of course times when I become self conscious about it, and feel that he may change his mind...but then I remember our past and then smile and forget about it. If he had no issues before he will not have any issues when he sees you again. Our worse enemy with this disease is letting it pull down our spirits.

Hello! I have had HS my entire life, literally. So, my husband was the only person I've been intimate with. He never really questioned my skin condition. I didn't know what it was until about a year ago. I just assumed it was normal because my mom and grandparents had it. I was completely bummed when I was diagnosed and told their was no cure. I came home and told my husband and he told me that he's not in love with my skin, weight, hair or anything like that. He told me "If you like I'll kill every inch of your skin, including your breakout areas." I started crying and he jokingly did kiss one area. There are of course times when I become self conscious about it, and feel that he may change his mind...but then I remember our past and then smile and forget about it. If he had no issues before he will not have any issues when he sees you again. Our worse enemy with this disease is letting it pull down our spirits.

I am going through this same issue at the time I have a wonderful fiance who loves me to death. But with my condition it's hard to just be accepting....I worry about plenty in our relationship bc I have my days where I'm upset n depressed at the world and he's right there trying to do his best to let me know he's here and constantly reminds me he always will be and keeps a smile on my face. I often worry about cheating bc sex just is impossible with the outbreaks on the groin, not saying that sex is what I'm worried about but I am human and so is he and is been like a month and its frustrated but if your partner really loves you HS should not push him away. But I believe the insecurities come naturally

Thank you both for your responses. Him feeling the desire to cheat is so definitely one of my hugest fears. I always see women walking around with cleavagy tops and sexy summer dresses or tight little shorts on. None of which I can wear because I have HS plus acne on my chest, face and back. It is such a contradiction though, because by me being insecure I feel like I am showing him a) that I don't trust or believe his words 2) secretly believe that he is SHALLOW which I know he is not. I have dated men in the past, and really didn't care for their thought or opinions I always just told them I had "something" or "real sensitive skin" but now i know I need to be honest, I think saying "disease" is what scares me the most...

I understand you 100% because I openly talk about my condition with my fiance n I always get the "so you don't trust me response" n to be honest I do its jjust always that doubt....I envy females to because. I can't wear certain things and I'm still young 23 but have to dress like I'm a tomboy....its hard to deal with but its nothing I can change....the word disease creeps me out too I use the word condition skin condition just sounds more acceptable

Yes exactly! When I tell my girlfriends I always say a "skin condition" that has yet to find a cure. I just feel like it is such a "make or break" kind of deal in a serious relationship. I have purposely ruined relationships in the past when they began to ask questions but I don't want to do that this time. p.s I am 23 as well, I am in college and I have to try so hard to keep a positive attitude. Especially when my friends who don't really know about my condition want to go shopping or even worse swimming! YIKES!! Having a social life is difficult but I bare through! And you don't have to dress like a tomboy!! I have found many classy outfits where I still look stylish but the clothing is loose enough for me to breathe but covered and classy enough to still look attractive. Don't feel your style has to be compromised!!!

I had the talk with my bf a couple months ago. I had broken up with him because he was asking too many questions and I panicked. When he still wouldn't leave me alone after 2 weeks I figured he wasn't going anywhere. When he showed up at my door, yet again, I put my big girl shoes on and told him what exactly HS is and how it makes me feel and then waited for his reaction. He just looked at me and asked if I was stupid enough to think that he would walk away from me over something I can't control.

He constantly tells me how beautiful I am. I don't believe him for a second but its still nice to hear. He knows how insecure I am about my HS and he really works at trying to make me feel as beautiful as he thinks I am. He's amazing and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He's always there when I take a trip to crazy town and right now I'm on a super extended stay,

Ive done the run away thing too. And also feels like my dude is lying when he says I'm beautiful but I just try and accept it for what it is...heldback I know wat u mean with the friend issues I have very lets say adventurous friends n I hate not being able to partake n certain activities, I haven't been swimming in about 8 years.. I notice I've began to act as though I dislike a lot of things just to get out of things even if I do like it

I was the same way. Still fighting it but it's better. My fianc has seen it, granted my case is rather mild compared to other people's. I thought I'd share a couple things. First off, there's no delicate way to say this, but there are ways to be...intimate...with a guy without him being around your intimate areas. I do not think anyone should be with someone that they worry will cheat on them, however I can also see your side of it. There are other ways for him to be close to you than...vaginally. It just depends on how YOU feel about it. But I love making my fianc feel good, even if I don't feel like I can join him because of a flare up.
Second, I wanted to tell you how it is with someone who truly loves you, which it sounds like your guy does. It took me some time, but one day it dawned on me that he really doesn't mind. Like, really, actually does not mind. When he is touching me or looking at me he's not really seeing my skin, not like I do. Lol he's seeing boobs, and curves. He's looking in my eyes. He's kissing me. He's high in endorphins. I was having a minor freak out and he literally did not know what the hell was bothering me. His only concern is if I'm in pain, and if I am so down on myself I don't feel sexy or in the mood. And frankly, now that I know I'm not going to infect him or whatever, I'm in the mood more and more because I know now that he is in love with me, not my skin.
The guy that is right for you really will not care. He'll realize he's gonna be with you for decades, so your boobs are gonna sag and you're gonna gain weight, your hair is gonna change colors, and your butt is gonna get saggy and wrinkly. As a girl at 23 it is hard to believe your guy when he says it's fine. But trust me on this, most guys I've dated have not been good at disguising how thy feel when I'm naked and they would not be able to hide it of thy were grossed out. Lol not that there have been that many.
I would say relax a bit about it. I know for me when my fianc is away for extended periods of time I get more and more self conscious about it. But when I am in his arms and I can see in his eyes how much he loves me, it's sooo much better. Don't let your head ruin what your heart wants. Believe them when they say they don't care. Guys are not girls, they do not typically layer a ton of different meanings in a simple sentence. If they say it's fine, believe them. If it bothered them then they wouldn't be with you. No one is forcing them to stay.

I just talked to my fianc and he wanted me to add something. I made him watch that "He's just not that into you" movie a while ago, and he says this is the exact reverse of that. If he wasn't into you, if he didn't want you, he wouldn't be with you. If he's with you, he wants you. Skin and all. He says just be direct about what it is, and what it isn't. That it's not transmittable and that there's nothing you can do.
And then if he chooses to be with you, Konsta (my fianc) says take his actions for what they are. He is choosing to be with you. That means he WANTS to be with you. Lol my fianc says we think way too much. He says it's not that difficult.

Have any of you ever felt like you were lying to someone by not telling them about the hs? Like they think you and so beautiful with your clothes on but you can't get the fear out of your head that when they see you without them they may be disgusted or even mad??

@Sarah- Thanks so much!! Just as I suspected my fears are menial lol. I have overcome alot of fear over the last few weeks by joining many support groups and talking to other women about this. I have found alot of women I talked to are happily married and it doesn't effect their relationships at all... which on the contrary alot of my "flawless skin" friends have a very hard time staying in relationships. I doubt there is a correlation but I find it inspiring that HS hasn't help back any of my support group lady friends from love and healthy relationships.
:)
@Outlaw-I never felt like I was lying because I really didn't know what I had for a long time when I was in past relationships, I said I think it's a horrible case of acne, which in asense it is. But I was always upfront with not having "nice" skin. Now that I know, with the person I want to be with now, it's not that it's lying because he has already seen my body, what is hard for me is swollowing my pride and using the term disease. I don't know why but it's easier to say real sensitive skin or really bad acne..

oops I meant "held back"