I rack my brains everyday trying to work out a formula some sort of code to what sparks this, to overcome it .....

I totally understand what you mean about small tasks becoming obstacles when you are in pain. I often find myself having trouble coping mentally and have to distract myself just to escape my own mind. Hopefully one day we will all find relief!

When I am in huge amounts of pain I often hum my way through it. I think to myself I will still sing the praise to my lord even at my lowest points. :)

A lot of days after the alarm goes off I just lie there trying to psyche myself up to get out of bed because I know its going to hurt so I know what you mean. I don't hum when I'm in a lot of pain but I do curse quite a bit. I just try to power through and lie to myself and say I just have to do a little more then I can stop moving.

Oh yes I know what you mean. I've had a few breakdowns. One at work where I flipped out and started crying uncontrollably for like 20 minutes. Actually I've literally had nervous breakdowns a couple of times at work when things get too stressful and I push myself too far. Of course i've gotten upset and cussed my dad out before, my ex wife, even my mother once. Its how it is sometimes. Its usually just fatigue and stuff....and i've been doing much better since I've been on this mood stabilizer invega. But still it sucks.

Dus

I know how you feel. Its awful. I swear a lot and feel sorry for myself!! Like you, I also sleep a lot when I've an infected lump, it seems to seep my energy. Try not to let it get you down too much. Keep moaning on here, we'll all listen xx

I always say I'm teeter totering my breaking point. I had a crying spell at work, I wigged out over something stupid, because it all got to be too much. I'm so embarrassed, I think about that everday now when im at work because my supervisor told a lot of people about me crying like an idiot. I work in a really physically demanding factory job, and it pisses me of that I can't do everything the way I used to. Thank god I have FMLA at work, so I can call off when I need to without getting wrote up for my attendence. No body at work knows what I have so its difficult. I had just told my supervisor that my " arm's messed up."

I know they say God won't put anything onto us that we can't handle, but I really feel like i can't handle this when my HS gets bad. I sleep a lot too, but i have to take a million caffene pills a day just to get moving.

Thank you all for replying and understanding. My normal copingmechanisme is anger and i curse alot because pain is weekness and anger is the appropriate answer so it seems, but this time i let it build up too much and was on the verge.

You ever try meditating? When i get frustrated and angry I think of all the things im grateful for. That I can walk this time, or yea it sucks that its my right arm thats affected but at least its not in both arms this time, or things that aren't even related to HS like being able to see and hear and talk. I think trying to keep a positive view about our disease is important. I think it's the only reason I havent completely lost my mind. It doesnt work every time and for those times it doesnt i have my best friend 151 rum.... no just kidding.... sort of....

When i have to clear my brain on command i can`t. Thoughts keep racing through my mind I am also not a good candidate for hypnoses for the same reason. But thanks for the suggestion maybe it helps someone else.

I have days where I am so tired and sore and everything seems like too much. I am impatient with my kids and husband and have even have broken down in tears.
On days like that I have been trying to figure out ways to simplify & see where i can get help. I have also been trying to break my day down to smaller tasks only worry about one small thing at a time.

On days I am feeling better I try to plan my cooking and things ahead so that I have things I can easily do on the bad days.