Hidradenitis Suppurativa Support Group
Hidradenitis suppurativa (hi-drad-uh-NIE-tis sup-yoo-ruh-TIE-vuh) is rare, long-term skin condition that features small, painful lumps under the skin. The disease manifests as clusters of chronic abscesses or boils, sometimes as large as baseballs, that are extremely painful to the touch and may persist for years with occasional to frequent periods of inflammation,...
I am probably one of the strangest creatures to walk this earth. I can UPLIFT and INSPIRE anyone, going through anything. I have this gift where I am able to help make anyone see the positive in any situation ... except when I look in the mirror. I have what I can only guess is 3 different types of acne. I have nodular acne on my face, neck, chest and back, I have HS which is in my underarms, groin, inner thighs, buttocks and under my breasts, and then I have a third, not sure if it is acne or really "sensitive skin" but where my bra line and pants waist line is causes a new section of acne. So basically my arms and legs are the only parts "clear". I know some people have face and chest acne much worse then I do, and I know some people have HS much much worse then I do but I can't help but feel self hatred. Like WHY ME? I am so embarrassed, I can't change or shower in front of anyone. I feel like I have a horrible horrible case of chicken pox that just will never go away. I happily walked proud with my acne at 13-18 but once I hit my twenties, my confidence went downhill. I use to plaster my face with makeup, literally layer after layer. I have since stopped. I am beginning a new "me" where I am starting to eat healthier, drink alot of water, and exercise. I have a love in my life who adores me and I amazing friends and I have even been voted class rep in my college program. Everyone else seems to like me but me. I know I should be happy and that only shallow people judge me, but what if I am one of those shallow people? I feel like a ogre, when I come home after "pretending" to be fabulous and confident I look in the mirror at my scars, cysts, sores, and acne and I can't help but cry. I want to feel better about myself, I know it could be worse and blah blah blah, but I feel like HS and acne have triggered a depression. Someone please help.. does anyone else suffer from this too? I KNOW mt life is great, and that I am a great person and I am blessed regardless of my horrible bumps but I still can't feel like I am so disgusting.
If you have any faith/belief in God read the Book of JOB. For it was only when Job got his heinous skin infection of boils and smelly foul painful lesions did he cry out against HIM....and JOb got some strong words from "above".
I am a spiritual person. I was angry, sad, embarrassed. I still get embarrassed but not the others....looking to Scriputures and my faith/belief has helped me.
A very good friend of mine saw me struggling with HS, saw the negative why me, anger, resentment coming out. All she said was read the Book of JOB. When I did....it made me see things in a different perspective.
Shall we piss and moan, ruin ourselves (0ur spirit, our mind, our love and outlook) over something not even Doctors can cure.....or can we seek support, advice, etc from sights like this......because only we that have it truly ever know the pain physical and mental....and perhaps look to Scriputures for an easement of "our souls", attitudes, and outlooks.
I wish your spirt an uplift and something positive each and everyday!