My son was arrested and landed in jail in May. We were shocked and so upset we bailed him out and he was to check into a program. When he finally did he was kicked out for using. The second time a few weeks later when he got arrested again we would not bail him out and so far it seems like that was the best thing for him. It gives them clean time which helps them to see how out of control their life has become. He is now in a court ordered program for a year and doing very well in the strict environment (he has been in for 5 months so far). So I think it could be the best thing for your son. Naturally there are addicts out there that are going to use no matter what but hopefully these young guys will make the decision that they don't want to be back there and change. When they are using they don't think at all about the consequences. My son is 25 with two felonies that he has to live with. They were for stealing to get money for drugs. This is not how he was brought up, he is well educated however he is an addict. Prayers to you and your family I hope this awful situation can turn into a positive one. I take some comfort in the fact that many people in recovery told me this could be the best thing for my son it was for them.

I am sorry for your family's pain. If your son is so resistant, counseling from a qualified substance abuse counselor / agency will not be effective. Your son must want this for himself. You or your family cannot do this for him.

Now, it does seem your son is resisting for a purpose or reason. Do not blame his behavior solely on withdrawal. His behavior seems to have occurred before he decided to use drugs as a means of escape, deviancy, anti-society behavior, or a psychological disorder / trauma.

Jail could work or not. If your son receives a traumatic or humbling stay sure it could work in his favor, but if your son is further educated on continuing this resistance for change, he will be worst off.

Does your son have a mental illness? (Co-Occurrence)

Perhaps his addiction started from self medicating a preexisting psychological condition; or started based on his cognition being imbalanced which would lead to poor judgment among other things.

How healthy was your son's child hood?

I understand parents are truly the last to know whether their child is maturing healthy, but try to remember any abnormal behavior your child showed during his youth at any time. If so, please list them.

Your son could be suffering from traumatic experiences re-living over and over again, much like those who suffer from PSTD. Such trauma could have created a mental illness or deviant behavior.



Your son could have just wanted to experience the feeling of getting high... If the above doesn't apply.


But, I think you should evaluate his behavior firstly. Try to target how it started and when. If you want, bring that info to this forum.

He may seem lost right now but he can be found.

Stop feeling sorry and please don't enable him.

Be tough but not tough to stop loving him.

Lock your valuables up because the disease of drug addiction makes people do horrible things.

Have people he respects like friends, ex girlfriends, etc talk with him to consider drug counseling.

See if your county or state has what is called: A Drug Court.

Drug Courts can send minor offenders to substance abuse treatment centers as a substitute for jail. If he dare leaves, he would be arrested. If he stays, possibly someone can help him- help himself including other residents.

I am not a fan on Methadone. Opiate dependency can be successfully detox without the use of this medication. Typically it is given to folks who has abused Heroin for a very long time or who is prone of relapse.

Methadone can be mixed with other depressants and even stimulates for a cross-tolerance effect.

Methadone is also a big money maker...

Opiate dependency can be detox in a week if this person is willing. There are other non-addictive drugs that can help with withdrawal pain.

Actually, Alcohol and Nicotine are the hardest psycho-actives to detox from. And both are legal!

I think like any legal perscription drug, there are people for it and against it. This is for your personal prefference. I have no experience with methadone, but only know that sometimes, it is some peoples way out of heroin. Is that good or bad... I don't know. But it is legal and perscribed, right? Maybe talk with your family doctor about your concerns.

Oxy started my sons addiction. From a football injury in High School. Tried to get him off the Oxy with Suboxone and now he is using heroin...... I could die. I don't know what to do.

First, I want to tell you, you will get through it. Second, it takes times. Third, and this seems cruel, but , there is nothing you can do except help him, when he wants/is ready for help.

That last one is the toughest because you love him soo, and will do everything and anything to help him and save him. However, this is one thing you are powerless over. Please don't be surprised either that no matter how much he loves you, that drug comes first in his life until he is ready to stop. Don't be shocked if he steals, lies, etc.

You'll need to take care of yourself, and give yourself all the love you can. Take one day at a time and enjoy the beauty in that day. Don't think ahead, and worry about all the things that might or will happen. It does you no good. When bad things do occur, then you be ready to handle it. Otherwise, you''ll be too weak to help and think. You need to survive this, in order to help him, when he reaches out to you for the "RIGHT" help.

Jack

My son stole everything I owned. Then he got arrested last week for burglary. He was in the car and not actually in the house, but they said he was acting in "concert" with the girl. I did not feel safe in my own home. He is not in jail facing a couple of years there. He is 23. I am heart broken.

Oh, my God. You have been a savior to me. Just by reading what you posted to me. I have a friend that is a councelor and he told me the same things. One day at a time, stay positive and don't worry about what might or might not happen. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My mantra has become, take one day at a time when I get overwhelmed. My son is in jail and I want him out but that would only get him back to his old bad habits. Just last week I was saying to myself that I wished he would leave. Well, lo and behold, he is gone. I beat myself up because I wished for this (in a way). But I know that I can leave my bag out of what is left of my jewelry that he didn't steal. Lied about not taking my jewelry when he and I are the only ones in the house. He is still denying it to me.

LASTLY TULLAH, AND I LEARNED THE HARD WAY THE CRUELEST THING YOU CAN DO TO YOURSELF IS BEAT YOURSELF UP, FOR ANYTHING, EVEN IF IT WAS A MISTAKE. THERE IS NO INTELLIGENT IN SELF-SUFFERING. IT ONLY TAKES AWAY FROM THE BEAUTY THAT INSIDE EACH OF US. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT, BECAUSE WE ALL SEEM TO FORGET, AND WE ALL THINK IT'S OUR JOB TO FEEL BAD, BECAUSE WE SHOULD. I KNOW, THAT IN THE BEGINNING, WHEN I STARTED TO LAUGH AND SMILE AGAIN, I FELT GUILTY ENJOYING MYSELF, LIKE I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO HAVE FUN ETC, BECAUSE OF MY SITUATION.

NEVER EVER THINK THAT WAY AGAIN. NEVER!!!!

JACK

Until he is ready to stop nothing even Methadone is going to work. He wants to get high, and when I was on Methadone I shot cocaine, or drank. They threatened to detox me but as long as the money was coming all i got was threats.

There are those of us who are unfortunates, that just never get it.
The jails, rehabs, and graveyards are full proof of this.

Sometimes you just have to love someone from afar and go on with your life, took me along time to get that one, but I never saw my brother again as for 13 years of my recovery I could not have him as part of my life. He never got it and died face down literally in the gutter from a overdose of his prescribed "Methadone" and a shot of MS Contin. He was on the methadone program for 9 years, and they knew he was using and claim have lost his records where all his urine tests showed he was still using.

Until he wants to stop there is nothing anyone can do. Nothing.

To the original post, Cook County is a low down place, for sure. It is where people end up when they do low down things, sorry to have to say that. As to something for the cravongs, I am old fashioned and believe that if people can endure the daily life of a junkie, they can get through a couple of days of pain. I know that sounds bad, or mean, but it is just what I know.

I see drug seeking as drug seeking.

My thoughts for you are that you stop saying we about things that happen from here on out, and give it all to the "me" it belongs to, and that is the addict. That is the only love you can give, and it runs counter to what a parent wants to do. You have taken all the pain of his you can. He will now have to take it and figure out just how much more he can deal with. I realize that often as people read these things, they think to themselves, "easy for you to say." Not at all. But it is the best thing for all to say.

When your son gets sick and tired of being sick and tired, hopefully he will see what we see as what should be the first choice, the most reasonable, as his last resort, and want to get clean.

I wish you all the best.

Hi. I don`t belive he is ready to quit doing drugs. He will have to go firther down and in to his soul and realy wanto do this himself. I do not know him, so I can be wrong. But i do not think so. Too bad he is in jail, it does not help, I know that. I do not knoow wat to do, it takes the time it takes. Sorry....