man, am i glad you said that Kramer!

I have seen it happen over and over sicne I've been here and didn't want to be the party pooper orcomplain about a long standing, accepted tradition that began before i got to the party.

Thank you!!!

As for ther serious side of THIS topic, i guess it's a super sensitive one for me. Then years ago i was DUMPED by someone i thought of as the love of my life when i was dx with herpes. I've been celebate since - and not entirely by choice! It's all tied together for me and winds up being fear of intimacy to the point i sabbotage every relationship possibility i've had ever since. fear of rejection is a mutha. But I sabbotage and cause them to reject me before it gets too initmate and i'd have to "tell."

Hmmm, this subject may be different for those who got Hep C from Shooting up, and for those who got it from a blood transfusion.
Since I got it from I.V. drug abuse, 3 out of 4 of my boyfriends also had it. The first one thinks we may have caught it at the same time, via not sterilizing a dumpster syringe carefully enough..and we didn't know we had it until years later. The next boyfriend already knew he had Hep C when we met,. and my current bf coincidentally had Hep C, but from a motor-cycle accident when he was young, inwhich he recieved numerous blood transfusions, and was infected that way.
All the other lovers I ever had, I told pretty much immediately, to see if they would scare off. None of them did, but then again, that was before I was clean and sober, so these guys were addicts who didn't care about here health, etc.
It would be SO hard to date, and still ahve Hep C. Hopefully within a few years, the cure will be so easy, that the stigma willl diminish and people will just get Treated/SVR.
One thing I might suggest, to those still suffering, is to date someone in the health profession, an intelligent person who can comprehend medical facts such as how hard it is to catch Hep C via sexual contact. If the person is the kind of person who just freaks out and has germ phobias, forget it~

I don't date anymore so this doesn't directly apply to me, but if I did - and what I do with friends - is be completely honest with it and who & what I USED to be. Not that I immediately blurt out all the gory details of my past, hcv, drug use etc, but when I was treating, everyone knew why & were there to help. People either accept me for who I am now, and my past or they don't. I'm blessed to have some very good friends.
I'm not ashamed of my past anymore, because I've been forgiven, and I've forgiven myself. This makes a big difference in how we live, view ourselves, and view others.

Kramer, I have been giving this topic much thought. Do you tell a date that you HAD HepC and have SVR? Or is there any reason to share that you had?

I'll think about this more when dating is even a remote possibility. Good article!

with friends I pick and chose and having a really lousy memory it's hard to remember who I've told and who i haven't. :-)

I think a lot of that depends on where you live. in a big city its easier to be open than in a small town. I like to feel i have some control over who knows my busniess.in a small town you can very easily loose any control at all and just become grist for the gossip mill.

I'd say that HCV is not an STD it is totally one's own call when to disclose. IMO why burden a casual date with an issue that is of no consequence to the other party who you may or may not see in the future. If things are getting serious then I would say the relationship is evolving to a more personal level and then it would be something to consider disclosing.
That being said I have been in a relationship for 13 years. At first it was not disclosed but when decided to cohabitate then I shared my challenges as my partner may have to face my potential chronic health issues.
That was my decision and it worked out very well.

Being SVR, it's not something I feel the need to say -- certainly not upfront. I'd like to think someone very important to me I would tell ultimately though. I've already had the HIV discussion initially though although I plan to settle with someone poz personally as we call it. It becomes largely a non-issue. The stigma bothered me immensely after dx. Not so much anymore.

I'll also add that if you wait to tell someone for a while then tell them you had it they still might freak out or feel slighted or betrayed. Who knows? People are so unpredictable. This has been discussed many times. I think the most poignant statement somebody said once here was that it depends on how you tell them. I forget who it was. I know being SVR vs. having active virus is a world of difference though. It just is with HCV.

I'm always tempted to talk about some parallels with HIV status and disclosure when this comes up. I actually started writing this huge story but I deleted it. There are so many differences and they can't really be compared too easily. I'd have to educate you on the gay scene, which is fairly complicated and ain't nobody got time for that. It's interesting though being HIV+ as many of us want another HIV+ partner. It makes it way easier not to mention a lot more um natural I'll just say and leave it at that. The stigma has changed with HIV though. I'm out about that totally regarding dating and sex and it doesn't even phase me to disclose it. That is the trend really as there are so many of us now. If anything, HIV- guys tend to come onto the + ones often to get rebuffed. It's kinda sad as it divides our community for certain in that respect not to mention the pool of potential partners.

As Rass the party pooper said though ;-) it's a different world around the corner with HCV. The stigma and everything will completely change about it soon. We either won't need to tell them or it won't matter much anymore (Will these drugs just finally come out already?) I can't wait for that day. I know some of us who are SVR do worry about contracting it again though and might avoid an HCV+ partner also. How's that for a thought?

I repost:
http://www.hcvadvocate.org/hepatitis/factsheets_pdf/Disclosure%20Guide.pdf

THanks, Kramer, for mentioning the "hijack-silliness." I've had the same disappointment in the past but didn't want to offend people by saying it.

BTW, here's an alternative point of view to Cassy's --just my own experience, but the only two men who ever rejected me because of HCV were medical professionals -- a med student and a PA. I think sometimes these professions make people overly aware of danger and disease.

Thanks Brigid
It's not about spoiling the fun element on here cause it helps members to have a laugh, get distracted, make friends.
It's about just changing the subject which usually results in no more contributions to the intention of the discussion.
I don't mean to offend anyone either. There are lots of valuable OT postings that everyone enjoys.
Please no hard feelings anyone. Let's just be considerate and enjoy the room!

This is a very good one IMHO!
http://sexandhepc.com/talk.html

Yes agreed Brigid. I had an unsympathetic medical professional in my life briefly too. Not always the rational ones necessarily. But the bottom line is, people generally don't want to catch something that can harm them. Kramer, I know that you have often posted that HCV is not an STD and I largely agree with that in most cases. At the same time, I've seen website charts and clinic type posters delineating HCV as just that -- an STD. So it's not so black and white. Agreed though, you're generally not going to contract this by "regular" sex but it is how one defines that that becomes the real question.