My heart goes out to you, it really does. No lecture from me about your drinking - I can't throw stones; I was a mean, ugly, promiscuous lush drunk for many many years. I doubt you could hold a candle to the sheer nastiness that was me on booze. So - all I can do is say to you that you DO matter - you ARE a child of the Universe. You do have coping skills or ... you wouldn't be writing here. You are reaching out, and that is a coping skill. So I'm here - and i care about you.

You Know I need to be alittle more Honest here. I'm sitting here eating Percocet, Valium and some top shelf Gin............Maybe I have a Death Wish. All's i know is i was doing great for along time and here i am repeating my past........how sad.

Thanks Cat, reponse helps.....Thank you.

Well there goes another Perc and 2 Valium with a good shot of Gin. I know for myself my Hep C was self inflicited due to a weak moment of drunkiness and drug haze so i feel like i got what i deserved. I feel for the people who didn't do anything wrong to get this. For some unknown reason my body is still relatively heathly. Am i just lucky... I don't have the answer for that.....But I do know one thing, if i keep playing Roulette.....I'm gonna lose.

I am sorry Honey.. Don't really know what to say but I do care..

Thanks Shadow, I do know that tomorrow is gonna be a better day.........Thngats what keeps me going to do the right thing.....Thank you very much for the support,cause as we all know things will get better......bless you.

MEMA, thank you for your care too.....Alot of times alls it takes is the the concern from other people, And the love that we have for other people that we have never met in our lives that makes all the difference.thanks..... Larry

I think some of us are born with an emptiness that just can't be filled. I drank and did enough dope to kill myself many times over, but it was never enough.

Even though I'm sober now, I still use money, food, sex or whatever I can to try to fill the void.

Good luck to you. If you decide you want help, it's easy to find.Feel free to ping me if you want more info.

Bob

Larry, I am sorry that you are struggling. We can all empathize. You are just being honest with your feelings, while I tend to blow mine off. Neither way is good. Change is hard and doesn't happen over night. But if you will forgive yourself for your mistakes it will help you moving forward. No one is perfect.
Please be careful when mixing drugs and alcohol. Bad things can happen and I don't think that is really what you want. You are just having a troubled day.
Nancy

Larry, I'm praying for you tonight, and will continue. That's what gets me through - the whole that nothing else fills. God didn't create worthless junk. You are unique and special, so accepting that would be a good step. I'm sending you a friend request. Marilyn

Thanks for all the cares and concerns, thats we are all here for. I did not over do it tonite, atleaset not yet. I don't what to be the person i used to be......I'm better then that. I'm here to get help from the same people that walked my path. unfortunetly i stumbled tonite. Shadow, Tulsa and Mrorso, words of encouragment go so much further then getting beat up do. And thats one of the reasons i am so Grateful for the site we share.....Thank You All for getting me through the nite, Thanks Larry.

an addict / human is going to have failures. ya get back up and try it again.

Larry, You appear to have many life skills-- honest communication is HUGE. you have gotten yourself this far, you seem to have a vision of what you want. We are imperfect beings and we do the best we can. I hope you are sleeping deeply and will not feel too crappy today....

there are other ways of stopping the pain of life--- what are things you love to do that make you feel well? treat yourself well and do those things.... for me it is often as simple as a walk in nature... a talk with a friend.

Larry, I'm so sorry that I didn't see this last night.
I can so readily identify with Bob's remark; he wrote:.."I think some of us are born with an emptiness that just can't be filled. I drank and did enough dope to kill myself many times over, but it was never enough...."
I could so easily have written those words!
And Marilyn (MTT) is right: we really do have to learn to see ourselves as our Maker sees us....as "fearfully and wonderfully made," unique, gifted and talented. And that includes you, Larry!
This battle must - first and foremost - be waged and won in the arena of our minds. Not to diminish the physical impact of liver disease, but as famed Bible teacher Joyce Meyer says, "where the mind goes, the man follows!" So true!
I hope that you were eventually able to get some rest last night - and trust that today will be a better one.
Please PM me if I can help with anything -
PD

Hope you are doing better today Larry.. WE all have dark times.. Make shitty choices.. But today is a new day and another new beginning..
(((((((((hugs my friend))))))