Well friends,
I gave it my very best shot and welllll it didn't work. They took me off the meds yesterday at 30 weeks my v/l load was back in the thousands!!!! I have never been so disappointed in my life. I feel like crap. I can't believe all that hard work and sickness for nothing. It is the worst feeling in the world. I actually don't know what to do with all this now. I am so overwhelmed I can't get my words straight here, so if some of this doesn't make sense to you I apoligize.Talk about a slap in the face. I was just at the Dr's last week and he told me even though I was detectable that I should stay on the meds cause it is good for my liver. At that point the dr. said I was only detectable by a very very small amount. So low they couldn't get a ready. Had another bt done and bam sky high again. HOly F. Not only that apparently I have stage 3/4 ciroissis. Don't care if I spelled it right. They told me I arleady knew this. Duh, guess I forgot!!!!!!!! But apparently it's not that bad because all my liver functions are great and all the other shit they test you for. I have to be honest with you all, I almost feel like giving up totally. Feels hopeless!!!! I have told my husband about these feelings so he is keeping a close eye on me.. Great!!!! I have so much more to say to you all that the words are all jumbled in my head I may have to do this as a two or maybe even three parter. Wow, and talk about irritable. Just told my husband to shut up cause he asked me (jokingly) if I am writting a novel. So I guess I will be getting the "hang in there Deb there's alway hope" or "don't give up". Funny whenever I added a comment like this I honestly thought it was helping. Now I don't know what would be worse, seeing those words or not seeing anything at all. I do want to thank everyone for all the help you have given me along the way. If it wasn't for this group I don't know what I would have done. Even now I need you all more than ever.!!!!!
Hugs to all.
Debbie