I've been there, Debbie. You get so sick of being sick! At Week 8 I was almost hoping that I would be a non-responder so that I could stop tx.

You just have to keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't always see it. You only have to get through TODAY. Worry about tomorrow later.

It's so worth it to tough it out and come out clear on the other side. Just keep thinking about that :-)

You're not alone, I just did shot 23 and I still have 25.
I thought about stopping tx but when I asked my question here, all those nice people here told me that I can't rely on being UND at week 4 and 12. and if I relapse, I'll have to start from scratch!!

You did 19 shots, right? Don't stop now, don't waste this time for nothing.
I wish you all the best :)

One week at a time as we all do it. Like Bestshot.......who just did 48 weeks.....I am on 40 now. I've been on this forum since the beginning of tx........many 'what is the point" threads. Who cares? All of us will encourage you and it does work. This place has gotten me to shot 40. Keep complaining......we can relate and might do the same.

Go Warrior woman!

Oh, and Ernie , here's a hug.......

Also remember Bestshot, that ur 1st try at killing this virus "is literally YOUR BEST SHOT" at remaining clear! When I got to shot 24, I started counting backwards at how many weeks I had LEFT....that helped my mind reprocess the tx..... So soon u can start the "count down!" Keep going my friend....keep giving it ur "best shot"!

Awww thanks gota. Still feeling mostly well so far. I just know symptoms are progressive for many.

Pharaoh, that's great to hear you're hanging in there too. I know u were having a rough patch like Bestshot.

You guys and gals are all such brave fighters even during moments of great challenge and not feeling so strong.

Imagine having that good day everyday! I take my shot on Friday night and find Sunday and Monday the worst days, Saturday and Tuesday also sucky usually. Some weeks are right-off's and then the next can be really different. I can relate to that sick of yourself feeling. Do you also feel like you are really disconnected from your hubby? I have been, he's been great going to work etc.. just getting on with things but somedays it feels like the relationship is really different/estranged, I think it is the mental effects of treatment. just keep on going.....

Hi NZ,
Yes, that is how I feel, disconnected from my hubby family and friends. And I shouldn't my husband has been wonderful taking on most of the work load round here. My Mom and I have never been closer and my two kids well that's a different story. They live pretty far from me and I don't get to see them very ofter. Before this I saw them all the time. Mostly cause I travelled to see them. They are only 25 and 21 and have a life but I miss them so much. I cry myself to sleep often cause I miss them and the closeness my husban and I had. We are still close but it seems like something is missing. This is taking a toll of me physically and emotionally as well. I am tearing up as I type this so please excuse the typos. I am on anti depressants so I don't know what else to do.
Thank you everyone for your help and listening. You are all so kind.
Debbie

aaaww, I know I get scared that He has seen a side he wont want to stay with and I have had a new found appreciation for my partners stickabiltiy (although he is a little insensitive to feelings). But one day we may be there for them through some health crisis, and hopefully we will be healthy and strong to cope with it.

I hope the mental change or disconnection we are having improves when we finish.. I feel disconnected from the people in my spiritual group too, its a wierd kinda feeling, you discribe it well with it feels like something is missing.... It must be the meds Deb they intensify everything, I even find when I bump myself the pain is more than usual.... no wonder hubby thinks I am exaggerating..

nzmum yes u're partner needs a lot of understanding,,hey he may need u 1 day......as god says for better or worse ,richer or poorer and in sickness and health. till death do u part..................oh sounds like u're still suffering empty nest syndrome.....i'm sure all mamas go through that........good mamas that is.....but that's part of evolving...god bless us all...

Just be glad it's not shot 1. I remember those feelings well hang tight peace

I know how hard tx can be, it does get easier. The disconnected feelings are being caused by the medication. I remember those feelings of being misunderstood and misunderstanding every one. It will get better and when you are done you will be so glad. HCV is very insidious and you don't know how much it affected you until you are done with it.
My best to you

Also fear of abandonment is a common symptom in dealing with chronic illness and issues. I recommend addressing your concerns with them. Their reactions might surprise you. Communication is key. You all know this though.

Bestshot- the meds can really mess with your head!
I went through similar feelings about halfway through my treatment- it lasted for quite a while, and I still feel self conscious about things I say. I think part of it may be the anxiety that is caused by the meds- you may want to talk to your doctor about this and perhaps they will put you on a prescription to help with anxiety.. I hope things get better for you!!

Things will get better. The relationship will be even better when tX is all done. Sometimes I feel guilty because TX has become our way of life. I'm on wk 40....it's been a long road. My partner did tx 10 years ago and cleared so totally gets it.

I wonder how long before every little symptom we feel isn't automatically discussed as a side effect. You hang in there. It's no fun for any couple. I have hidden out for so long but my partner gets to see me at my worst. No one wishes that on anyone. Just be extra nice when you can. Good luck!

Dear bestshot,
you're probably in the peak of the emotional sx that tx causes. For me it was about 3 mos or so that were the worst all around, and particularly the sadness, etc came about then. I'll be starting wk 24 this Fri and have been feeling better emotionally & physically for the past few weeks.
Keep that in mind when you're feeling really crappy. Sx go through phases. Hang in there, you've come a long way.