Hepatitis C Support Group
Hepatitis C is a blood-borne viral disease which can cause liver inflammation, fibrosis, cirrhosis and liver cancer. The hepatitis C virus (HCV) is spread by blood-to-blood contact with an infected person's blood. Many people with HCV infection have no symptoms and are unaware of the need to seek treatment. Hepatitis C infects an estimated 150-200 million people worldwide.
so im not really sure where to start.. about a month ago, i applied for a job which asked me to do a standard medical test.. i felt FINE the only thing i was worried about was testing positive for thc.. it never occurred to me to worry about what else they might find in my blood.. my blood test results came back positive for hepatitis c virus.. since i tested positive for thc as well, my parents made me go see a psychiatrist to help me quit (this is not my first time to get caught doing drugs / have a relapse) and stay clean since my health really depends on it.. my psychiatrist diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder..
i'm not sure how i feel.. have genotype 1 (not sure if it's 1a or 1b didn't know there were subtypes of genotypes till I got home need to ask my dr!) meaning my treatment's going to take 48 weeks.. my parents are frustrating me by asking me to get a second and third opinion.. what exactly am i getting an opinion on? it's been confirmed by 2 dr's that i have hepatitis c, and they both said since the virus is still dormant, treatment is preferable but optional.. so what exactly is it that i'm getting another opinion on? its the same freakin treatment all over the world they're not understanding how frustrating it is to be dragged from dr to dr.. they also don't seem to understand that i'm 24 years old im not a child i can make my own dr's appointments... i hate that they keep scheduling appointments for me without even consulting me first and then getting upset when i dont want to go.. and when i try to talk, i get a "your borderline personality disorder is getting the best of you.. you need to think positive" this is all making me crazy! i mean do i not have a right to be frustrated?
it feels like no one understands.. my family gets upset when i'm negative.. my friends get upset when i get negative.. they don't understand that for someone who's been battling substance abuse for over a decade, quitting EVERYTHING cold turkey over night is not easy.. having borderline personality disorder makes it that much harder to control my impulses.. i dont need anyone belittling me or getting angry at me for being "negative".. on the subject of my friends.. i feel so alone. its like no one wants to put up wth me because i'm sick, because i'm sober, or because i'm struggling! my friends will find an hour or two for me here and there for the sake of saying that they're here for me but am i being paranoid when i feel like its not really enough or when i feel like they're just forcing themselves to find time for me because i've recently been diagnosed and they feel sorry for me but its only a matter of time before they abandon me?
i could really use some advice on how to cope with all this.. i just keep getting angry, i lock myself into my room and cry myself to the point of wanting to really hurt myself and i just don't see my situation getting any easier.. i'm terrified of starting treatment, and everyone and everything is making me extra sensitive.. the irony of the whole situation: the night before i got diagnosed was the 3rd yr anniversary of my bf's suicide.. i cried myself to sleep thinking "if ur out there and can here me, wherever u are, i know ur not god and don't have this kinda power but if u do, kill me.. kill me now and make it quick and painless".. 4 hrs later i was diagnosed with hep.c and all i could think was "i said quick and painless!! this is NOT quick and painless!!" so yeah.. advice?
i'm not sure how i feel.. have genotype 1 (not sure if it's 1a or 1b didn't know there were subtypes of genotypes till I got home need to ask my dr!) meaning my treatment's going to take 48 weeks.. my parents are frustrating me by asking me to get a second and third opinion.. what exactly am i getting an opinion on? it's been confirmed by 2 dr's that i have hepatitis c, and they both said since the virus is still dormant, treatment is preferable but optional.. so what exactly is it that i'm getting another opinion on? its the same freakin treatment all over the world they're not understanding how frustrating it is to be dragged from dr to dr.. they also don't seem to understand that i'm 24 years old im not a child i can make my own dr's appointments... i hate that they keep scheduling appointments for me without even consulting me first and then getting upset when i dont want to go.. and when i try to talk, i get a "your borderline personality disorder is getting the best of you.. you need to think positive" this is all making me crazy! i mean do i not have a right to be frustrated?
it feels like no one understands.. my family gets upset when i'm negative.. my friends get upset when i get negative.. they don't understand that for someone who's been battling substance abuse for over a decade, quitting EVERYTHING cold turkey over night is not easy.. having borderline personality disorder makes it that much harder to control my impulses.. i dont need anyone belittling me or getting angry at me for being "negative".. on the subject of my friends.. i feel so alone. its like no one wants to put up wth me because i'm sick, because i'm sober, or because i'm struggling! my friends will find an hour or two for me here and there for the sake of saying that they're here for me but am i being paranoid when i feel like its not really enough or when i feel like they're just forcing themselves to find time for me because i've recently been diagnosed and they feel sorry for me but its only a matter of time before they abandon me?
i could really use some advice on how to cope with all this.. i just keep getting angry, i lock myself into my room and cry myself to the point of wanting to really hurt myself and i just don't see my situation getting any easier.. i'm terrified of starting treatment, and everyone and everything is making me extra sensitive.. the irony of the whole situation: the night before i got diagnosed was the 3rd yr anniversary of my bf's suicide.. i cried myself to sleep thinking "if ur out there and can here me, wherever u are, i know ur not god and don't have this kinda power but if u do, kill me.. kill me now and make it quick and painless".. 4 hrs later i was diagnosed with hep.c and all i could think was "i said quick and painless!! this is NOT quick and painless!!" so yeah.. advice?
But don't let that scare you Velvet.... It's all just part of the deal. If you want this crap gone, you gotta put yourself out there.
You'll do fine. I have good days and I have bad days, but remember, it's very important for you to get ahold of your mental self before you even think about starting tx. Cos somedays, I know I would try and choke someone if I weren't on all the groovy meds I'm on. (joke) Don't really choke someone okay?