Keep reading all these posts. There is a wealth of information from fellow CHF patients. They were very helpful with me in finding information for my 84 year old mother in law. You're a great girlfriend. Not only that, EVERYONE needs a medical health advocate. We don't always get all the information from the doctors. Exchanging information with others is immensely helpful. Do keep us posted and keep coming back for answers. My best to you and your boyfriend for a quick recovery and healing.

Hi Angel

You bf gave up so much - it is no wonder he is having difficulty staying with the program.

I remember asking the doctor how long I had once - He, in turn, asked me a few questions - he asked - if i was eating well - i said no how can i with so many eating restrictions. He asked me if i was smoking - i said not - you told me to stop. He asked me if I was having sex (yes he did0 and I answered - you know i cannot because i also have ED from cancer. And he asked if I was going out with wild women - and I sadly said - no - i cannot anymore.
Finally he asked - why I cared if i lived anymore - speeechless.

So your boyfriend needs some encouragement - yes !!!!!

Take him out where he can enjoy everything , but not get too badly injured by the quisine.

A little extra passionate romance will definately help. There are plenty of mor things to sex than the actual sex act - personally I am in favor of all of that.

wine - NO strong drinks or beer - still something can be a big help. And only one cup - but that still is a big help.

tell him to breathe deeply - he will get almost as much enjoyment from that as smoking.

Hugs, Raoul

Thank you all. I have rented a cabin in the mountains for next weekend so we can get away from everyone treating him like he is broken. Thank you for all of you advice. Hearing these things makes me feel like I am not alone. Thank you all.

I know what your going through! My husband is 30 and was diagnosed December of 2008. It's been really hard.

Make sure you search for a doctor that is passionate about CHF. Don't settle on a doctor. Get a Heart Failure Specialist.

Stay positive! He will beat this. There will be really hard days and statistics that will crush you. Just keep reminding your BF and yourself that he can beat it.

Become an expert on CHF...not that you have to become a doctor or anything. Success with Heart Failure by Marc Silver is a great book! I read it and bought copies for family members so they can try to understand whats going on.

My husband has a really hard time with the salt and fluid but you really need to stick with it. Your BF will feel a lot better sticking to the restrictions than if he is overloaded on fluid and salts and ends up in the ER. Try low salt cookbooks. It takes a little getting used to but its really worth it.

The weekend away was interesting. We had good times but sme pretty big venting sessions for him too. He is having a had time with all of this. I honestly think he is in denial. He does not know how to be "this person". He knows he caused all of this damage and is angry with himself. He tells me he knows he is not doing all he should. He is not watching sodium as he should and is still smoking here and there ( I suspected, but he's been hiding that). He tells me he will resent me and anyone else that "harps" on him. I do not harp, but it is hard when you see someone you love starting down a dangerous path only 6 weeks out of the hospital. He thinks if he is not tired and swollen then he is fine. This is not easy, is it? Ugh. I also have a question. he is having pain in his feet every night. He says it is sharp stabbing pains. Is this due to circulation issues because of the Coreg?

It's good the two of you got away for the weekend! It's definitely not an easy road. I wish it was. My husband has said similar things....no one better tell him what he can and can't eat. And that he is his own person. Giving up drinking and partying was the hardest thing for him. He is a lot better now. He feels healthier when he listens to what the drs say. The pain in his feet could be from low potassium. He will pee out a lot of potassium due to the water pills. His doctor should have given you guys a contact #, let them know about the pains.

Life will get better ,it takes time.I could not even unload my washer when I came home from the hospital.Make sure he gets lots rest and a good healthy diet. Get a good Doctor willing to explain things to him on his level .Best of luck and GOd bless.

HIHI

Sorry your bf is being a pest -
And sorry again - because i must say something -
Hit him with a socker bopper or something that will not hurt him - and get his full attention.
Tell him - you will not tell him again - either he stops cheating now or he will die. I have a friend who died. It is not a good solution.

Cannot smoke.
Must cut the sodium to lowest possible.
Must control his liquid intake .
Must get his legs up for a few extra hours every day to help his heart catch up.
etc, etc.

This is not negotiable - this is serious - and just because he feels good is not any sort of a proper cryterion.

Then pounch him in the stomach as hard as you can and tell him to wise up before he dies.

Hard Love, Raoul

Sounds like he might have been an alcoholic. Be that the case NO Alcohol of any kind shoud be allowed. I've had all those things pancreatitus, CHF, and diabetes as well. I was 53 when I had a heart attack. In a coma for 23 days. Ended up having a heart transplant . All of this was contributed to my alcoholic lifestyle. Do make sure that someone is there to make sure the doctors orders are understood and carried out. He may not make up his own rules. Lifestyle changes are tough they demand changes. I did learn one thing that was important. Those changes beat plan "B".

Yes - he is an alcoholic. It hurts to say that. He has completely stopped drinking. I just wish the doctors would have put as much importance on the other lifestyle changes as they did on the alcohol. other friends have not done the research I have on this and they think I am overreacting on some things. Oh well .... I am happy to be the "bad guy" in this case. Yes- Plan B is not an option !!

My husband has alcoholic cardiomyopathy. It was very difficult for him to stop the drinking. However, after being two weeks in intensive care, going through terrible withdrawal, etc., when he came out of the hospital, the first thing he had was alcohol! He increased his alcohol intake gradually every day until he was like he was before going into the hospital. Then, he decided to stop on his own. He has been sober for six months now. He is taking a series of medication which he decided to stop on his own. I really think he still needs the medication: Coumadin, Lasix, Cordaron, Mavik. I hope he starts to take them again. He has another doctor's appointment in a couple weeks.

I hope your husband starts taking his medications again too, drmik63. It can be really dangerous to discontinue any medication without a doctor's okay, even if he is feeling better. I'm glad he has a doctor's appointment coming up so that the doctor can talk to him about that.