Heart Failure Support Group

Heart failure is a condition that can result from any structural or functional cardiac disorder that impairs the ability of the heart to fill with or pump a sufficient amount of blood throughout the body. It is often undiagnosed due to a lack of a universally agreed definition and difficulties in diagnosis, particularly when the condition is considered "mild."

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sb57 05/13/2009

Hey everyone,
I know I haven't been participating very much on this board lately, but I need your help. I recently had an emotional trauma. You can read my journal to find out some of the details.
I have been doing very well with my heart failure symptoms. My EF has gone up to 50%(as of almost a year ago). I was taken off the amiodarone. Things were going well. Then, about a week ago, the emotional trauma..Now, I have chest pains, short of breath, I can feel the arrythmia(pvcs), fluid retention and so on...
How do I cope? I don't want to be sick. The other problem is that my daughter and my husband need my emotional support. They are both DRAMA QUEENS...The way they handle things only upsets me more. Should I say "If you love me, you will change"..."If you want me to be ok, you will change" or is that just NOT RIGHT to put a guilt trip on them. Part of what got my daughter in to this situation is the fear of upsetting me and her dad. So, HELP! How do you handle emotional trauma with heart failure?
Shelly

deleted_user 05/13/2009

hi shelly...hug first...with my HF i find it hard to deal with any highly charged situation..i do feel it physically..and it scares the hell out of me..my cardiologist said..'avoid stress any and all kinds'..and told my husband the same...she kinda put it rite there...i get too stressed..im not here..and not to be rude..but with guys(at least my hubby) straightforward and blunt is IT...my kids are younger..but old enough..i had a family meeting and told them whats what..not saying everything is perfect..but they have to handle whatever trouble comes..i can know about it..but have to practice relaxation techniques and walking away...maybe to some its a cop out..but i fix what i can and dont worry about the rest..if i get sick..i may not recover...and we all know that emotional health is linked to physical health..you may have to 'walk away'emotionally to protect your physical health...if you dont...the consequences may be irreversible..some things you cant avoid..but if YOUR health is being impacted by a situation...its up to YOU to take care of YOU.....no matter if the house is falling down around you...
...and be sure your doc knows that you are having emotional upheaval...s/he needs to be aware in case you need some other help...
i dont know if this helps you shelly..but sometimes the only one you can fix is how you react...
take care
marie

deleted_user 05/13/2009

hi shelly, hugs. i agree wit Rer. i have a 20 year old son & a few weeks ago he was drinking & became erratic, i attempted to stop him from trying to make someone leave our home & i couldn't take the situation. i had to literally walk away. my mind became overwhelmed & i felt heaviness in chest. i know i have to put myself 1st in my life. it is hard after all these years but it is in my best interest. i really think they would like for me to be here. my son does say that he is trying to move out so he won't stress me.

noreenb 05/14/2009

i know exactly how you feel as i have been taking care of my grandsons due to a huge mistake my son(and his fiance)made. he has also tried to hide things from me(someone usually tells on him,i.e. a little birdie),but i usually get info in alot smaller doses than you did.i wish i had an answer(i could use one too),but i do agree with rer about letting your doc know and anyone else in the medical profession that can help.i recently asked the same question because i was having some of the same physical symptoms you mentioned. the only thing that seemed to help was time(and this group),time to deal with your feelings about this,time to let things calm down, and most importantly time to take care of yourself! i understand about the guilt trip(guilt should have been my middle name lol)but i'm beginning to learn how to turn it around and put any guilt where it belongs-and its definitely not on you!i've recently found out how toxic guilt can be for me so i know i have to avoid letting it in.i hope you can learn to do the same(i'm still in training).anyway, i hope this helps as i can just imagine how you are feeling about so much at once. i hope you start to feel better soon and wish you all the best! noreen

sb57 05/14/2009

Thank you all so much for your advice and comments. I see this is an issue for more than just me. I feel better right now. Yesterday after I took my medicine my symptoms really improved, but as soon as I talk to someone about the situation it gets me going again. I hope more people see this and let me know their ideas as well.
Love, Shelly

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