Hi Gassvq,
Nice of you to drop in and visit us. Yes, it's likely that your boss' personality change is related to his heart attack. Some changes can occur when people have had some disruption of their oxygen supply to their heart and brain during the heart attack, and this can lead to some reduced "'filters" on what they say. But also, as you may see if you read some of the other discussion posts here like the one called "depression", many of us are emotionally "off" after our heart attacks, especially in the initial time period. We feel angry about how this could have happened to us, which you are likely to understand if battling cancer, and that anger may leak out onto innocent bystanders.

I'm the type whose pretty slow to anger, sometimes holding it in to my own detriment, especially prior to my heart attack. Now I feel a little more like, F it, I had a heart attack- I'm going to do or say what I want. Like today, I was in sitting in a 2 hour lecture with 25 other folks, including the "big , big boss", and I was the only one to get up in the middle of the talk and walk over and pour myself some coffee and get a bagel (I didn't have a chance before the talk began). When I got up, the speaker said, "Oh, am I going over time?", and folks looked at me. Oooooh, I'm such a rebel, huh? But really, I would have restrained myself from doing something like that in the past. What I'm saying is that your boss may also feel like "F it, I'm going to say whatever I want", and then combining that with being angry (& scared) about what happened to him does not make for a pleasant supervisor.

Most of us work through our anger and fear over a period of time, especially if we have safe people to vent with like we do here in our DS support group. Hopefully, your boss will emotionally heal and will stop being so irritable. Maybe he'll find some support, like here on DS. I'm so sorry to hear that his negativity has been harmful to you, especially when it sounds like you are battling your own major health crisis. Does your company have an EAP that may help you strategize options for coping with this situation, including any work procedures that may be of help? Or maybe there is an HR person who can help you look into options? I'd hate to see you feel driven out of a job you've loved, especially in this current economy, but also, I understand that you have to protect your own emotional wellness. If you'd like, Gassvq, let us know how it all works out. I hope the situation there will get better for you and your boss. Sue

As usual, another extremely helpful post to my comment on DS. I really appreciate your information. I am going to save your note and share it with those of us who are affected at work (everyone). Thank you so much for taking the time to post. I will try to be more understanding and perhaps leave some anonymous information about post heart-attack depression. It's weird, the cancer group doesn't tend to suffer from long term depression. We have our moments and then they pass so I really believe there could be a physical link, along with the trauma associated with heart patients. Good luck with your health!

The experts may have different and better definitions, but in my book, a personality change would be different and deeper than a behavior change, and more or less permanent. A behavior change might reveal aspects of a personality that were previously not manifested until, as you say, the filters were off. If the factors that turn off the filters are mitigated, they could go back on and the person would start to seem more like their old self.

From my admittedly non-detached and highly subjective perspective, my assessment is that I experienced a little bit of a personality change but mostly a behavior change. I dont think I lashed out at people, but that doesnt mean that others wouldnt when acted upon by the same forces. My better half, Minor4th, will probably contribute to this thread and offer her front-row seat observations.

By all means read the depression thread. I would say that depression is the most likely culprit. It might eventually get better on its own, but not likely. Medication can be very helpful.

Another bundle of factors at work after a heart attack are physical and emotional shock which work together to cause a sense of utter fatigue. These will get better with time, slowly, over the coming months and years. The fatigue can reduce inhibitions against undesirable behaviors that someone may have a pre-existing potential for.

I went through a period of resentment, although in my case it was directed at the medical industry for the big lies they told me, they information they withheld, and the incomprehensible amounts of money they grab. It was also directed at myself for believing the lies. I wouldnt be surprised if others have experienced resentment, and different people will display it differently and direct it at different targets. This should get better as part of the process of emotional adjustment.

One more possible contributing factor is side effects of the cocktail of pharmaceuticals that are prescribed after a heart attack. It's my assessment that beta blockers (e.g. Coreg) are psychoactive. I figured out that it was causing nightmares every night. The resulting sleep deprivation would be enough to make anyone a bit grumpy. I made my own decision to discontinue this drug, but not many people would do this.

Hi gassyg,
I agree with Sue and Minor7th's posts regarding everything they have said. I would add this however: a heart attack makes you feel vulnerable and afraid and powerless. Since this person was/is in a position of power he may be overcompensating to a certain extent to assert his power both to himself and those with whom he works.

There are probably many reasons his behavior is happening, and perhaps they have all combined to make him hard to work for/live with. I agree that medication may help, as also therapy with a good counselor may help. I don't know if you are in position to suggest these things, but perhaps you or a co-worker can find a way. Let me add that the stress of his job is not doing his heart any good, and 'going off on y'all' is not a good stress reliever, so finding good ways to let off steam will help him in the long run.

I hope we've helped you and your boss. Maybe we'll see him on here soon. Joining DS was one of the best things I did for myself post MI.

Pam

u no doubt go through changes, emotions, the rebel part i can identify with sue, i used to people please especially with family, now i speak my mind OR just stay AWAY FROM the dysfunction.. life is short... live and let live

Hi There,

What a good discussion thread this is. I just knew who would be offering a front row perspective for you. Boy Minor 7th poses a very interesting ponderence. Character, Behavior, Personality. Deep S**T. Behavior lends itself to disciplined actions. Ex. Leaving the toilet seat up, when you know it is in the best interests of others to put it down, an informed decision and subsequent action. Character, I tend this to a God given innate infusion to a person and this resultant character can be shaped into many designs, given life's experiences and learnings. But the basic core of Character, I believe is pretty much given it's roots as a child of

'cont'

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Sorry, I can not get the rest of my thought on this Thread I will try and attach some where else. This happened once before and I don't remember what I did to rectify. So bare with me guys.

Regards,

Just Joe

Hi There,
What a good discussion thread this is. I just knew who would be offering a front row perspective for you. Boy Minor 7th poses a very interesting ponderence. Character, Behavior, Personality. Deep S**T. Behavior lends itself to disciplined actions. Ex. Leaving the toilet seat up, when you know it is in the best interests of others to put it down, an informed decision and subsequent action. Character, I tend this to a God given innate infusion to a person and this resultant character can be shaped into many designs, given life's experiences and learnings. But the basic core of Character, I believe is pretty much given it's roots as a child of

Hi There,
What a good discussion thread this is. I just knew who would be offering a front row perspective for you. Boy Minor 7th poses a very interesting ponderence. Character, Behavior, Personality. Deep S**T. Behavior lends itself to disciplined actions. Ex. Leaving the toilet seat up, when you know it is in the best interests of others to put it down, an informed decision and subsequent action. Character, I tend this to a God given innate infusion to a person and this resultant character can be shaped into many designs, given life's experiences and learnings. But the basic core of Character, I believe is pretty much given it's roots as a child of

No luck I will do a mass mailing to you and all my buddies.. DS acting up or more liely I am acting up. I will title the post Personality Change

I think that there is behavior change as a result of MI. Has anyone ever read the book Homer Price by Robert McCoskley? There is a story in the book called "Ever So Much More So". I would describe the changes in Minor7th, after the MI, to be "ever so much more so". He is quiet, reserved, private, and introverted. The change in him was "ever so much more so" after the MI. He became even more quiet, and even more private, etc. I wasn't able to discern if the change was because of the MI, due to the shocked state he seemed to be in, or due to the medications. Looking back, I think that it was primarily the shock (he really felt he had no one he could talk to about the MI ... too bad we didn't get connected with this stellar bunch of folks sooner) and the medication.

I certainly believe that things get better over time. Any success (even little ones) seem to pick Minor7th up to the point that he seems (to me) to be looking down on cloud 9. For several days after our recent snowshoeing trip Minor7th seemed, to me, higher than a kite from the progress he has made from his MI.

So, yes, I think that your boss is going through some rough changes and yes I think that things can get better with the passage of time, but I do not know if the time frame for change will be quick enough to help your situation.

By the way, if you haven't read the book Homer Price and Centerburg Tales by Robert McCloskey, I highly recommend them.

OOOOOOOOPPPS!

We, Minor7th and I are using the same computer. I didn't realize that he hadn't logged out. The previous post was by me, Minor4th not by Minor7th.

I apologize for being asleep at the wheel and for the confusion.

To My Friends, Minor 4th and Minor 7th. Confusion is ever so comfortable for me, it pushes me to clarity in a very deliberate manner. ACD thing. Notice the number of tries to get my post up. If I knew it wouldn't have botherd you folks I would have kept trying until the glitch became apparent. I have well defined stop-gaps in taht regard. Minor 4th, I was not fooled one bit, or confused in your OOOPS. Both of you have distinct styles and a melodic flow. You tend to emote from a more gentle, calm, caring, ethereal plain. Minor 7th seems more reserved, pointed, deliberate and terse, and beckons from a very cerebral haven. Both quite distinct and creative. Minor 7th seems well educated possibly in the Arts, and by your chosen monikers, 4th and 7th, I wouldn't need to venture to far from an instrument in this regard suggesting maybe an orchesteral or maybe an aleatory affiliation. I wouldn't class my self as an educated musician but I do enjoy the stringed instruments, Minor 4th , is soo lovely as a sustained step that seems to want to transition, diatonically to a major. While minor 7th is one of my favorite diatonics and the step to the diminished is an awesome find in some intervals. Neither standing alone but searching for that next tonal partner. But I am probably sooo far offf base here it's funny. But every time I see your monikers I know I am going to be lulled into a very handsome thought or ponderence.

My Best To you both,

Just Joe