Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Threesomes

Emerald0743
Emerald0743

My fiance has brought up a threesome teasingly a few times now. Today we had a more serious conversation about it and he made some good points. Im considering it and will definitley be discussing my concerns with him but for now I wanted to hear from others ...their experiences with a threesome. as well as thoughts and opinions in general even if you havent engaged in one. I tried looking into it and have found it either solidified a realtionship or completely distroyed it. My 2 fears are . #1. I have been cheated on by my ex and still struggle with jealousy once in a blue moon. #2. Im scared he will start wanting threesomes all the time and sex between the two of us wont be enough anymore. I will be explaining these issues to him when he comes right out and asks for one. Today was just a general discussion. I feel hes trying to ease me into it though and and obviously its working hahaha! I read a thread where they suggested a couples lap dance first and I like that Idea to gage my jealousy. They also suggested attending a sex party together which I think is also a good Idea.  Our communication is great and he makes me feel wanted, respected and loved and I feel as though I can trust him. That has helped me recovery from jealousy significantly. He explained that the fantasy of a 3 somes is stricktly a sexual experience to enjoy together and that it had nothing to do with love or feelings and that a couple should set ground rules and for a MFF 3 way the woman should pick the other woman. What do you guys think?


Thank you in advance for taking time to respond.

Ghostwolf04
Ghostwolf04
Sounds like a pervert trying to groom you. That's what predators do. I bet he was not planning to use condoms either? Or do anal? Great way to get STDs and you're stupid if you let him. What if he gets the other girl pregnant? Or it's another guy and he gets you pregnant? Pregnancy and stds should have been your number 1 and 2 concerns.
Sounds to me like he is bored with you and trying to ease you into an open relationship. You're ok with you both fucking a stranger?
Normal healthy people don't do this shit. I would run. Or if you just can't, then see a couples therapist. Maybe get him treated for porn addiction, cuz you know he is getting this idea from somewhere.
Jesus this is why I don't get on this site anymore. This is so stupid and depressing and sick.
joanne777
joanne777
No way that's sick
Emerald0743
Emerald0743
@Ghostwolf04.
I respect your opinion and I did ask for it. Sorry for revolting you. Im 1,000% sure condoms would be used because we use condoms with eachother. I dont think hes grooming but people being groomed dont actually know they are being groomed I suppose. We talk about everything together. I may be reading into it too much. He has not flat out asked for it . We do like to try new things and Im not ashamed of that cosplay, toys, roll play ect. You're right he does watch porn. I know this because we have watched it together. I do see a therapist and I will talk to her about it. I appreciate you taking the time to try and help even if this topic feels like a waste of time and makes you feel sick and depressed.
dreamer64
dreamer64
Sex was designed by God to bring a couple together in unity. A healthy relationship does not need another. He is focused on the act of sex and not the building a special bond.
koolman
koolman
Thoughts and opinions: A threesome is never casual. One or more of the 3 people end up having "feelings" deeper than mere flesh sensations for another, and there's always a third person who ends up feeling left out, getting hurt, because the other two people decide they like each other better. Your fears are correct and will come true. If the guy's so bored with you that he requires threesomes, presumably with multiple third partners, and you're not feeling the same way about him, then he should be away from you to roam free and engage in as many threesomes as he wants.
sweetgirl18
sweetgirl18
My husband is the only man I've ever had sex with and I love him so much and I been with him for over 18 years. I would never want anything to do with a 3 some because why ruin a great thing you already have going for you and when you got a great sex life going for you with someone you love.
calirn13
calirn13
I am not against this, not at all.
Couple questions to consider.
1. What are you getting out of it?
2. Who is this person that would be a third. A third person is much harder to find that you think.

I always suggest find a guy to have a 3 some with. There are plenty of apps. Suggest a MFM threesome first. It’s only fair right?
If he does then go ahead with the FMF .. no friends! Nobody you know! Find someone random on an app.
Will this change your relationship.. yes
MemphisWH
MemphisWH
Having had hundreds of 3 or more sexual encounters, most encounters ruin a relationship or a marriage, not all of course.
Someone gets jealous, someone gets hurt.
In almost all cases there is sex outside the relationship by both.
It will always end a dating relationship, and the marriage can get really hurt.
There are so many ways it can and will ruin sex, intimacy, and love that only married season people should attempt it, or just good FWB should do it.
Yes it is fun in the moment. but are you good enough? If you are then he doesnt have time to think about others.
I suggest you leave him, things will end badly.
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