Twas the night before the night before Christmas,
When alone in my house,
the TV was blaring as I was looking at the PC screen in a girl with a see though blouse.
The dishes were done, didn't take long,
since the cupboard went bare,
couple more days til Christmas
and new underwear.
The kids had all grown up, moved out on their own
I had learned how to deal with being alone
comfy and warm I slid into bed
while dreams of a woman danced through my head
when out in the driveway, a boom then a crash and a bang
I sprang from my bed, looked into the yard at a gorgeous young thang

moonlight on her breast, which were white as snow
her tan lines almost made those titties look neon, aglow
her car was parked on the hitch of my truck
Knew she was pissed, When she screamed out "FUCK"

Naked and cold, she turned in a stare
at this half dazed old man, hard in his underwear
she walked up the steps, I invited her in
she giggled a little, at the hair on my chin
I'll just use your phone, call my old man
He'll come pick me up, we can settle up then
I know I screwed your truck, what a night this has been
boyfriend puked on my top, that wont happen again
I was pissed, drove fast, did not make the turn,
there are tons of things I need to learn.

Her dad finally answered, he'd be there in and hour or two
as my mind started buzzing all the things we could do
I asked her if she was cold, her nipples said so,
but I had sense, there was heat, down below.

we set not talking for a minute or two
when she bluntly asked me, "Hey, do you like to screw"
"Of course" was my answer and soon licking split
her moans and wriggling, said she was into it.

A condom put on, as she wanted it that night
my stars this little gal was really quite tight
we banged, we boned for 20 minutes or so
and I knew any moment I was about to blow
she dropped to her knees and opened real wide
I let it all free, good grief what a load
not a drop, not a drip hit down on the floor,
then the sound, came to us, knocking on the door
again she spun, to the bathroom, she flew
needless to say, she did what she had to do
I slid on some sweats, walked to the front door
"come in sir" I beckoned, then my jaw hit the floor.
Her dad was a state trooper, gave me a ticket, a week b4
the wrecker then showed up, took pick up his tow,
she waved me good bye, as away they did go
once their tail lights had vanished, I went back inside
and laughed to myself til I damn near cried
Thanks to karma on this eve of Christmas eve night
the ticket I paid for turned out just right.
So while hurrying around, do not despair.
this time of year, something is in the air
it makes some women horny, an old man desirable to
or maybe that lil gal, just liked to screw.

Now back in my bed, a smile on my face
sure glad I am still part,of this insane human race.
I know this was long, and its all fiction you see
but this part is true, Merry Christmas to you and yours
from Tossed aside, that's me.