I've been somewhat involved in the fetish and dom/sub community. When it's with someone you care about I like it. Unfortunately I run into little boys who think they are doms. It's mostly a joke. But in a relationship like yours I think it works. yes it can appear that the personalities of those involved change but only for a time.

Leather, we need you. She is our resident expert on the Dom/Sub thing. I am just getting into it. I suppose that when a person is being a Dom or a Domme, their personality might change.

Thee is a BDSM support group and I am a member of it, and I asked about Sub Space, and what is it like. You might find it of interest.

Enjoy the world of Kink! I DO!

I think a persons behavior changes (not personality) during sex of any kind the same as it changes with all kinds of different things they are doing. My behavior is different when I'm cleaning out the basement than it is when I'm out for dinner or if I'm fully concentrating working on an art project vs sitting around watching TV. My personality is my personality and that doesn't change but my attitude/behavior changes with different things.

I'm in a 24/7 D/s relationship and although I'm a submissive at all times and he's a Dom at all times, both our behaviors are a bit different when we're in a sexual situation vs other times during our day.

TG, I am not the resident D/s expert, I'm not even an expert in my own relationship and neither is He. Experienced living in a D/s relationship for most of my adult life yes but an expert I am not.

We both continue and will always continue to learn and grow from each other, within ourselves and within our relationship. IMO, once you feel you're an "expert" at anything, you stop learning, stop growing, stop working towards bettering yourself/bettering your relationship and that's not something I ever want to do. As long as I'm still breathing, there's room for improvement and growth in all areas of my life and our relationship.

I understand that dominant in the bedroom, cooperative (or even submissive) outside the bedroom is not unusual. In my case, my husband and I have very much the same roles in our relationship whether we're having sex or not - he's dominant, I'm submissive - and I wouldn't have it any other way ^_^

Yes!!! One's DARK, CONTROLLING side emerges when they're a dom. And your fear excites you as the sub.

Yes, just look at the stereotypical CEO who wants to lie down and be spanked by a Domme in full body latex. People crave many things, and sex a great way to get those things when it's a trusting relationship. People get into BDSM for play only, and others live a 24/7 D/s lifestyle. As long as you trust your partner and stay safe, enjoy it!
I would not say dominance is necessarily always about being "dark." For me, submitting fully to the one I trust and love means I get to fly to new places in his capable hands . . . and there's nothing dark about that :) It's not about a guy getting to be controlling a-hole under the guise of "dominance." He is held to his responsibilities and expectations as well.

Very well said Awesome.

As far as fear, fear should not play a role in D/s - BDSM. If a submissive fears her Dom, your placing herself in the wrong hands. Having the utmost level of trust in your Dom knowing you have nothing to fear is more like it.

As some of you know, I'm not in the bsdm lifestyle at all. My sex life, well, when I had a sex life, was give and take. I don't like labels so I am not going to say I'm a switch or a submissive or a Dom, I don't like pain, I don't like being told what to do, what to wear or not wear. I like to go with what feels good at the moment.

If fear was anywhere with a partner, I would be out of the relationship in a flash, just like anyone should be no matter what lifestyle they are into - sexual or any other.

I'm am a very strong, independent and capable woman because I need to be, my true inkling is submissiveness. So I'd say I agree my personally does change a bit when I'm allowed that freedom.

Fullmetal.....agreed, it's damned erotic!

Fear should never be a part of a relation between a Submissive and their Dom/Domme. When I finally find another Switch, fear will not take have any place in the relationship.

A Submissive needs to deeply trust their Dom/Domme.

As far as how erotic asking My Master for permission to cum, to Pleasure Him orally. Asking him to Pleasure me. What can I say? HAWT!

Starting my saxophone player on the whole B&D thing. Explaining how I love to be tied up and controlled, but not spanked.

I would like to experience being submissive. I already am when it comes to cleaning, laundry, etc that I do for my BF. Maybe one day, if we get a better sex life.

full metal heart I've been a domme for a while and people's personality do change while having sex. In my professional life I act submissive and the same with my sub. He is a lawyer in his professional life and there is something always hot about being in a d/s relationship. Its great