Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
So I am a long time lurker so I do know most of the players, or playas as you might consider yourself and I finally have something to post. I have been divorced after a twenty year marriage for around four years now and in that time I have had three relationships. The last one I had was with a great woman my age and it fizzled out for me because I just wasn't feeling it. By that I mean, we got along great, had a mutual lifestyle and were matched up in all ways except perhaps in the bedroom. I just wasn't excited by her.
We broke up two months ago and I met this other woman. She is younger, twenty years younger. We don't match up in lifestyle or really ,most ways but in the bedroom....well she said to me, "I am a bit of a freak" and that seemed to do something to me in a positive way. I have no idea where this will go. As far as I can tell I am not trying to abuse or use her. I understand that her life and mine will probably not stay aligned for a long time, but my relationship with the "appropriate" woman didn't either.
We all know why older men want to have relationships with younger women, because they are physically more attractive, but if the older woman had been a freak I think we would probably still be together.
There is no way to know if someone is a good sexual match until you start having sex and finding someone that is a good match seems a lucky find. Any thoughts for me?
We broke up two months ago and I met this other woman. She is younger, twenty years younger. We don't match up in lifestyle or really ,most ways but in the bedroom....well she said to me, "I am a bit of a freak" and that seemed to do something to me in a positive way. I have no idea where this will go. As far as I can tell I am not trying to abuse or use her. I understand that her life and mine will probably not stay aligned for a long time, but my relationship with the "appropriate" woman didn't either.
We all know why older men want to have relationships with younger women, because they are physically more attractive, but if the older woman had been a freak I think we would probably still be together.
There is no way to know if someone is a good sexual match until you start having sex and finding someone that is a good match seems a lucky find. Any thoughts for me?
That last comment cracked me up... I know I'd be having 'words' if it were my daughter!
She could be the perfect age for you Tsand: She's past the fresh-out-of-college-all-I-want-to-do-is-party age, not yet at the too-old-all-I-want-to-do-is-walk-hand-in-hand-on-the-beach age, and yet possibly right at the I'm-ready-to-have-that-baby-with-you age. Yep, that could be it for you. Baby time!
Like Joe100 would advise -- hit that shit like there's no tomorrow.
If there is a freaky, attractive woman interesting in you, and you are up for it.. then, like the others said.
"hit that shit"
Now, the part that gets difficult is to make sure you are both looking for the same thing. It seems like many of the younger woman interested in older men are looking for...
hmm... some sort of father figure, and could want to be taken care of.
Keep your eyes open, don't over commit and make sure she isn't thinking this is going to be more than you want it to be. It would be a pity if either of you got hurt.
Good luck!
ouch! is there no hope for older women to be with older men then? ;)
do you really want a relationship with a younger woman or is it just that you want that hot sex (that you CAN get with an older woman btw)?
Me personally I'm more attracted to mature women (and MILFs). It's not so much the body I'm after but it's the mind.
Hit that shit, and hit it often and hard.
"Is there is no way to know if someone is a good sexual match until you start having sex and finding someone that is a good match seems a lucky find. Any thoughts for me?"
I say yes. the pheromone rush and the instantaneous 'I am so hot for you right now feeling' ...added to some flirting, and WAITING, and talking, and getting to know each others brains a bit first, and maybe a couple of kink's always equals great sex. For me anyhow. But i am a woman.... Half the battle to orgasm is generally the anticipation.
Can you find a good sexual match BEFORE you have sex with them. I say yes. As long as you are honest about what you like and it jives with the potential partner. OK...Not just JIVES but turns them on. Communication is key!!! Even if that is a little dry humping before the real sex.
Talk about sex! I know pretty much right away if a dude is too vanilla for me after a date and some brief discussions. So far I haven't been wrong about who i think will be a great sex match for me.
BUT...that can fade once the normalcy of the naked body takes hold in your relationship. ...When the anticipation fades.
Then what am i left with? In a few years? An old dude who can't keep it up?