Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
my guy friend who now is 5 hours away from me has starting sexting and it is fine with me , but after a 31 year marriage of not doing those things I feel a bit lacking in how to.
My husband wanted me to talk dirty during sex but he was doing the opposite of encouraging me.
long story but it did not work out with that. (he passed away though)
So , when a guy asks what are you wearing , for example , what is a good way to answer that.
I feel slightly awkward but more confident on the other hand than I did in my marriage b/c my friend with benefits guy is so kind and encouraging.
and sexy !
and ten years younger than I am which blows my mind pardon the pun.
I try to not spend too much time figuring out why he picked someone older but I think it is because I can't get pregnant and he likes me as well.
so anyone have advice on how to answer sexting questions with out sounding out of my league.
I mean, the first time I was with him and gave a BJ he said wow I knew it , you are a professional.
which made me happy and mad at the same time and I did let him know afterward, I kind of took offense at that.
as I told him I had been married a long time so yes I have experience; what he does not know is that is pretty much all my husband wanted to do.
My husband wanted me to talk dirty during sex but he was doing the opposite of encouraging me.
long story but it did not work out with that. (he passed away though)
So , when a guy asks what are you wearing , for example , what is a good way to answer that.
I feel slightly awkward but more confident on the other hand than I did in my marriage b/c my friend with benefits guy is so kind and encouraging.
and sexy !
and ten years younger than I am which blows my mind pardon the pun.
I try to not spend too much time figuring out why he picked someone older but I think it is because I can't get pregnant and he likes me as well.
so anyone have advice on how to answer sexting questions with out sounding out of my league.
I mean, the first time I was with him and gave a BJ he said wow I knew it , you are a professional.
which made me happy and mad at the same time and I did let him know afterward, I kind of took offense at that.
as I told him I had been married a long time so yes I have experience; what he does not know is that is pretty much all my husband wanted to do.
Sorry for your loss by the way.
When a guy asks me, I usually just tell the truth! You would be surprised how sexy guys find it when you tell them you just have a t-shirt and panties on. :-)
What you said about the truth, I did say that at least once.
He happened to call me and ask that and I was not expecting it so had nothing to say other than I don't want to lie , I am wearing __-.
I tried to then think of something to make it sound better , I forget what ...but I have said the t-shirt/panties thing because it is usually what I am wearing.
oh that time I said the boring answer , now I remember- it was a cold, frigid night , no heater on so I was really bundled up.
lol
I saw a stand up comedy thing on video that Chris Rock did about this , how his girlfriend is not good at dirty talk, and it really cracked me up because it sounded like me at the time.
His GF said something like "no I don't wear panties ! It's underwear !"
but really if anyone has ideas for me, I'd appreciate it.
the little comebacks I have said now, I feel I am going to bore him by saying the same thing every time.
He is currently living too far away to see in person often but hopefully will be moving back this year, to where I am. So in the meantime we try to keep things going. He is supposed to visit tomorrow.
My other problem is photos. I do not worry about sharing them with him. My problem is taking photos of myself , it is difficult to take a flattering sexy pic, with the trifling little tracfone I use.
ha ha, because up until recently I had a strange uncomfortable feeling about saying the word "panties" even.
on a sidenote, if you look it up , online, you will see I am NOT the only one. I guess a lot of women have a difficult time saying that word.
I chalk it up to my strict Catholic upbringing --and my Mother in particular-- being obsessed with chastity and pure thoughts.
:) I am serious.
I am getting better at it, now.
So my guy , when I am having lingering doubts about being able to talk dirty , I sometimes say "I guess I can't say it because I am a good girl"
which of course is kind of a dirty thing to say , lol. So he takes that and runs with it.
It's all about the fantasy and the playing a fun little game. You could be
wearing flannel pajamas pulled up to your neck. He wont know the difference. Men are very visual . So give him a vision that will make his blood run hot. You'll get the benefit next time you see him in person.
Regarding the BJ, I'm sure he meant "you are a professional " as a compliment. He was telling you that you did a really good job [ no pun
intended ] , not suggesting that you were really a "professional " .