Thank you for another thoughtful convo topic VQ!

I'm 31, so I can't really answer from experience. But I know spiritualists who are 70+ who say it's all about energy and finding someone who thrills you, excites you, makes you feel wanted. They claim to have happy, active sex lives.

For me, and I think most people, sex IS so much more than physical stimulation. I have to not only be interested in someone, connected to them, it also helps if I respect them, look up to them. (I have a little tagline for myself: "Diplomacy is hot" lol.) I also believe we interact on an energetic level.

There is a lot of self-exploration that people don't bother with.

@ Ninja... I am so glad you are still around here. Is like noone else besides us ever wants to speak or post. I think that makes sense. That excitement and "passion" is something I have never yet experienced but want desperately to.

Is also interesting to hear that you also need to be interested and want to feel connected. I was just saying something similar to one of the men. A younger one. He was saying he does not necessarily need to feel that connection, just that they both have a desire to have a good time (not exactly his words, but how I interpreted it) I do believe it is a Mars / Venus thing as even the older guys can more easily get in the mindset to just enjoy the here and now and 2 people can have a good time. I still feel cheap and like I am being judged . Silly huh?

I have not had sex with my DH for many years. I would very much like to have a physical relationship again. Unfortunately my DH prefers to get his satisfaction from watching younger perfect women on his phone and computer : (

Vegg- great Q:
"How often do you and your partner have sex? How often would you like?"

A: We just never do that any longer, she is either not interested or something. I quit effing asking.
How often: a few times a week. Thats what I am used to. Sorry, my old-ass libido is still kicking it :)

I would be delirious with a couple times a week. Now settle for far less with toys. :(

Typically once a week.

If I had someone, it would be nice to at least once a week. But not since 2002 have I been touched. A male friend kissed me about 9 or 10 years ago. Only the toys have given me any "thrill" since then. I DO CRAVE MALE TOUCH!!! And more than just sex. I want hugs and kisses and a smile, That look that says I care for you. My sex drive is still alive, well and not on life support.

Mary... mine is too... (it was some of my toys that were on life support. lol. ) Yesterday I almost fried my magic wand!

I am a 52 My partner is 58. We would both love to have some sexual contact...at minimum oral on a daily basis As we do not live together we average about twice a week. I hope it stays that way for as long as possible.

There are only so many hours in a day, and, sadly, MONEY has become a priority over sex. I'm working 6-7 days a week for so little money and there isn't time or energy for sex.

I suppose, given money and time to be sufficiently bored, sex would creep into my thoughts as a priority again. In my 50s, a deep soul connection and similar mindset with similar sensibilities is more of a priority than sex, an understanding that I'm just so damn tired and an acceptance that my mate, if she's my age or inhabits a body and soul similar to mine, is tired too. I wonder if being tired is my age or if it's just that what I'm doing for money is so tedious, it's dragging me down, tiring me out. When I actually have time to be sufficiently bored and think about sex, it's younger, more slender women with smaller butts who excite me, turn me on. And, when I check out such women, in porn or in real life, I have to turn my eyes inward and look at myself, with some fat in the gut, and realize: I'M not slender, I'M not feeling very sexy, I've got to tighten up this gut to retain the energy and vigor of my youth, through diet and exercise.

I do feel extremely horny after I've ridden my bicycle at least 10 miles, which shrinks my gut and strengthens my heart. Therefore, making time to ride a bicycle at least 10 miles a day is a priority to feeling sexy! I guess I'll make the time to ride my bike to and from work!

@ koolman-- a very valid point. There aren't enough hours in the day and we do get more tired. For me, the fact that after working all day (a job that can often be physically draining) and coming home to expectations and more work from a very lazy spouse does nothing for a desire for sex (not with HIM anyway. ) For me it is a turn on to find a man willing to help out with the daily grind and chores at home. (Even with sputtering energy, THAT in itself is enough to fire me up. lol)

The bike is what I have turned to in the past. I do have to get back on mine too. It does make a difference.

Before motherhood and menopause, it was at least three times a week. Now, years later, it is zero. How often do I want it? Everyday. I am just as horny now as I was when I was 20. Isn't life great.

I just turned 50 a few days ago but I would like to have sex at least once a week, preferably twice. I love being touched and turned on. My husband is 11 years older and his drive isn’t like mine so I’m lucky to have sex a couple of times a month, and that’s a good month. I do get hugs and kisses but that’s just not enough for me.

veggiequeen: I'll help with the household chores and be your surrogate stud lol.

Ooo.... You're hired! (Big evil grin here)