I cant read your jjournals, because there privot, but I have seen enough so realize that you have issues with abuse and depression. Both of these can cause a plethera of mental issues that will affect your sex life. Depending on medication your on and what real unlying issues you have will depend on the treatment you need. First thing I would suggest is talking with a Dr and a therapist about the issues.

For him I feel it is much of the same issue. There are medications out now that work very well for ED. If he is as young as you are I would say that really he has underlying issues also and some of them may be caused from yours. Stick with here this is just a theroy of mine. Some men tend to take on or mirrior there womens issues. I speak from experiance on this. If you have sexual issues he may be also do to feeling inadiquate or selfish, because he cant please/satisfy/arouse you. You are both in this for the long haul being married and to be honest I feel if you both get counciling, medication checked/changed, and communicate you can learn to have a fullfilling and loving sex life.


I hope this helps and if you need I can elaborate more.

I cant read your jjournals, because there privot, but I have seen enough so realize that you have issues with abuse and depression. Both of these can cause a plethera of mental issues that will affect your sex life. Depending on medication your on and what real unlying issues you have will depend on the treatment you need. First thing I would suggest is talking with a Dr and a therapist about the issues.

For him I feel it is much of the same issue. There are medications out now that work very well for ED. If he is as young as you are I would say that really he has underlying issues also and some of them may be caused from yours. Stick with here this is just a theroy of mine. Some men tend to take on or mirrior there womens issues. I speak from experiance on this. If you have sexual issues he may be also do to feeling inadiquate or selfish, because he cant please/satisfy/arouse you. You are both in this for the long haul being married and to be honest I feel if you both get counciling, medication checked/changed, and communicate you can learn to have a fullfilling and loving sex life.


I hope this helps and if you need I can elaborate more.

I cant read your jjournals, because there privot, but I have seen enough so realize that you have issues with abuse and depression. Both of these can cause a plethera of mental issues that will affect your sex life. Depending on medication your on and what real unlying issues you have will depend on the treatment you need. First thing I would suggest is talking with a Dr and a therapist about the issues.

For him I feel it is much of the same issue. There are medications out now that work very well for ED. If he is as young as you are I would say that really he has underlying issues also and some of them may be caused from yours. Stick with here this is just a theroy of mine. Some men tend to take on or mirrior there womens issues. I speak from experiance on this. If you have sexual issues he may be also do to feeling inadiquate or selfish, because he cant please/satisfy/arouse you. You are both in this for the long haul being married and to be honest I feel if you both get counciling, medication checked/changed, and communicate you can learn to have a fullfilling and loving sex life.


I hope this helps and if you need I can elaborate more.

I cant read your jjournals, because there privot, but I have seen enough so realize that you have issues with abuse and depression. Both of these can cause a plethera of mental issues that will affect your sex life. Depending on medication your on and what real unlying issues you have will depend on the treatment you need. First thing I would suggest is talking with a Dr and a therapist about the issues.

For him I feel it is much of the same issue. There are medications out now that work very well for ED. If he is as young as you are I would say that really he has underlying issues also and some of them may be caused from yours. Stick with here this is just a theroy of mine. Some men tend to take on or mirrior there womens issues. I speak from experiance on this. If you have sexual issues he may be also do to feeling inadiquate or selfish, because he cant please/satisfy/arouse you. You are both in this for the long haul being married and to be honest I feel if you both get counciling, medication checked/changed, and communicate you can learn to have a fullfilling and loving sex life.


I hope this helps and if you need I can elaborate more.

I cant read your jjournals, because there privot, but I have seen enough so realize that you have issues with abuse and depression. Both of these can cause a plethera of mental issues that will affect your sex life. Depending on medication your on and what real unlying issues you have will depend on the treatment you need. First thing I would suggest is talking with a Dr and a therapist about the issues.

For him I feel it is much of the same issue. There are medications out now that work very well for ED. If he is as young as you are I would say that really he has underlying issues also and some of them may be caused from yours. Stick with here this is just a theroy of mine. Some men tend to take on or mirrior there womens issues. I speak from experiance on this. If you have sexual issues he may be also do to feeling inadiquate or selfish, because he cant please/satisfy/arouse you. You are both in this for the long haul being married and to be honest I feel if you both get counciling, medication checked/changed, and communicate you can learn to have a fullfilling and loving sex life.


I hope this helps and if you need I can elaborate more.

can you orgasm by masterbation?

has he ever used a vibrator on you?

lost i definitely think she got it and then some. :)

ladykinus please don't be embarrased. this is not an embarrasing situation. its something that needs attention.

one thing i'd offer is don't fake it. don't fake anything. that would only be bad news if he found out or suspected it.

i think you need sexual counseling. i really do. your problems can be corrected. i think you did the great first step by opening up here. but it may take someones help to break the pattern of dullenss your in.

i hold out high hopes for you and it's gonna happen.

Wow... DS really was messing up!

Sexual compatibility really is important in a relationship. If one person really isn't being fully satisfied, then it does affect the other. It sounds as if you do want to please your partner and you want to find a way to be pleased yourself.

Age and inexperience can make a difference but it doesnt mean that you cant gain that experience together and have fun doing it. No need for embarrassment. It sound like he is the partner you want, you just need to figure out how to have the sex life you both want. Not to be so direct but does your husband realise that you are not being satisfied? I know that this is an awkward conversation but one that should take place. The best sexual relationships are between partners who are totally open with each other. You don't need to be so direct as to say "sex with you sucks" but rather let him know that you would like to explore ways to bring your sexual relationship to the next level.

Reveal asked above about masterbation and vibrators, are you able to orgasm this way? Have you tried this with him? Another thing tO think about would be foreplay, dO you two spend time fooling around prior to the event or do you just jump right in? If you aren't really spending time playing around before hand, I would definitely suggest doing so. Don't get me wrong, just jumping right into things can be great too but sometimes we need to find out what makes our partners and ourselves tick sexually needs to happen first in order for these quick encounters to be fulfilling. Perhaps try using foreplay as an experimental and instructional time together. Let him know that you want to explore with him. Allow him to take you to orgasm prior to sex... Manually, orally, or with toys. Tell him what you are enjoying, and be honest. In order for him to be attentive to your needs, he needs to know what is working. Do the same for him, take the time to arrouse him prior to sex. Find out what he likes, ask him to vocalise this to you. Sometimes knowing how much our partners are enjoying themselves is the added wow factor that was needed to fully satisfied ourselves.

So my suggestion is to be open, be honest, take some time to explore and experiment. It is ok to be sexually inexperienced and it can be very fulfilling and fun to learn with your partner if the lines of communication are open.

Ok i'm gonna try and answer all the questions that were asked. DS was REALLY messing up on Lost there. LOL.
As far as fakeing it goes... i wasn't talking about fakeing orgasms just enjoying the sex. but most of the time we are doing it in the dark so it dont matter if he can see me or not. I just want to keep going hopeing I might actually finally feel something or the mood will come back from the stimulation, but it usually doesn't. So idon't know. :/
First oral completely grosses me out and is a turn off. I hate the way things smell and feel downthere so I definetly dont want him licking around down there. Plus we both get fever blisters (which we had before we met and yes I know what causes them) so i'm scared to have anything go on down there on both me and him.

So no I have never tried a vibrator and am scared of trying one cause it would COMPLETELY devistate my hubby to think he has to compete with that. We have discussed it randomly and that is his usual coment on the subject, Cause he is so hurt and selfconsious about his ed problem. I don't know if that is what it is called. He has no problem getting it up. just keeping it up once things get going or if we change postions to much, etc. Which never really started till after we got married now that i think about it.

I have endometriousis (or however you spell it) and ovarian cyst that come and go. So sex can be painful sometimes. we have tried many different positions over the years, experimenting and stuff, but thanks to my problems we are limited on positions. And with his issues, we have started trying cock rings to see if they help, and sometimes they do and sometimes they dont.
Oh and foreplay doesn't really happen anymore either cause for me if I'm finally in the mood, which is a very rare thing, I have got to "pounce on it" then or loose it. We are lucky to have sex once every week to 2 weeks. Which really sucks cause both of us hear about everybody elses great sex life when we got to work or with friends and then here we are suffering in silence with a crappy one?!?!
Oh and I don't really have a hard time gettign him turned on, its just trying to hurry up and enjoy it before he "goes flat". And I can tell when he is stressed it is hareder for him but that has been better lately.
It just sucks cause we are young and married with no children so everybody thinks that life is great for us, like we are like rabbits or something in the bedroom, but we are not!! I'm not on any meds and neither is he. Just really frustrated cause I want to be able to tell him that our sex life sucks but I don't want to hurt his feelings cause he is really insecure about himself now too thanks to his issues. I just don't know what to do anymore. i would be happy if sex was something that just didn't even exist!!!! ARGH!!!