Yeap, when we feel ashamed or embarrassed or want to hide our actions, it is the wrong thing for us to do,
Because we feel even worse afterwards, and feel like the only way to fix it is to get another fix.
SO i have had to stay sober almost 11 months, no sex, no porn, no masturbation at all. no chemical brain load to trick me or numb a feeling.

Masturbating is a good relief but try Not drinking to numb the anxiety. It is hard to during covid-19 but it's glad that you joined the support group so others can support you and also look into counseling or therapy about your anxiety. Don't feel ashamed everyone goes through things and the world is going through a lot of things and covid it is very hard but never feel ashamed if you have to satisfy yourself.

I don't drink drink.but when I've had anxiety. Often times when me and my husband have sex. I feel it helps relieve the anxiety.because of the bond I'm having with the man I love.

Thanks for the reply.s.

Brought this up with my therapist today. My main issue was that it was reaching an area that I haven't felt in about 15 years.

The patterns were just not syncing up well. I would only masturbate when I was feeling lousy. So then the problem is afterward, I feel as if I'm only climaxing whenever I felt bad.

So yeah, for those few seconds after release I feel great-- but then I feel ehhhh-- either kinda awkward, gross, etc. And then if I masturbate at any *normal* time, it became more difficult, because I start to associate having an orgasm with a negative experience. Which it shouldn't be, obviously.

She encouraged me to start only doing it in positive situations, or when I'm feeling good, that way those bad connections don't happen.

Just so you don't go from feeling good to the negative again. IMHO (for whatever that's worth) we are human and sometimes the longing for intimacy or to feel something may also lead to playing. I was made to feel guilty and ashamed for much of my life. There is a point where we need to admit and allow ourselves to do and to feel something (hell, anything) I wish you the best.

I feel the same way. When I am upset I use masturbation as a defense mechanism.

I’m masturbating since a long long time and I’m glad no one made me feel bad over that. My mom definitely knew and never said a word. I believe that it also depends on the person. I was always very active even before school. Going to kindergarten or school and having a test or exam made me masturbating and still does when I’m anxious.
My mom told me that. And there are people who do not masturbate at all wether in good times or in bad times.

I use masturbating to relax or when I can't sleep, yeah. After I orgasm, there is a feeling of emptiness (I DID just spill my seed after all). But I sure fall asleep easily after!