Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I am going through a life transition and have decided I want to deal with all of my issues or anything holding me back.
A big one being sex, and I don't even know where to start figuring it out.
It is hard for me to relax. I was abused a lot growing up and its like I have these automatic walls that wont let me enjoy it the way I want to. I have had good sex, but its like there is always something missing, and it has nothing to do with most the partners I have been with. I have never had that mind-blowing orgasm I hear about. and I've never had one at all just from intercourse alone.
It has been hard for me to experiment, cause its almost like I get really shy and nervous when introduced with new things, but not that I don't want to try.
My body has a defense mechanism, and that is to go numb. its annoying. but at times can also be over sensitive to the point I can't handle light touches or it makes my skin crawl.
I know, i'm a mess. but I figured there is probably someone out there with similar experiences, and wondering how you got through it.
I'm just getting out of a long term relationship that was fairly emotionally abusive, and well, I need my confidence again. And I want to be able to have good sex without something being entirely emotional, or me feeling bad or dirty about it in the morning like i did something wrong.
I want good sex where I feel beautiful, strong, and satisfied. I don't want to feel obligated to a relationship.
A big one being sex, and I don't even know where to start figuring it out.
It is hard for me to relax. I was abused a lot growing up and its like I have these automatic walls that wont let me enjoy it the way I want to. I have had good sex, but its like there is always something missing, and it has nothing to do with most the partners I have been with. I have never had that mind-blowing orgasm I hear about. and I've never had one at all just from intercourse alone.
It has been hard for me to experiment, cause its almost like I get really shy and nervous when introduced with new things, but not that I don't want to try.
My body has a defense mechanism, and that is to go numb. its annoying. but at times can also be over sensitive to the point I can't handle light touches or it makes my skin crawl.
I know, i'm a mess. but I figured there is probably someone out there with similar experiences, and wondering how you got through it.
I'm just getting out of a long term relationship that was fairly emotionally abusive, and well, I need my confidence again. And I want to be able to have good sex without something being entirely emotional, or me feeling bad or dirty about it in the morning like i did something wrong.
I want good sex where I feel beautiful, strong, and satisfied. I don't want to feel obligated to a relationship.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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Hope the dog days of summer aren't getting you down!
Have you considered getting some counseling? I think that might really help you.
I am so sorry you were abused. It can take such a huge toll in so many ways. I hope you can get some help and guidance.
(((hugs)))
You are not alone in this.
Its like i'm ok, then suddenly someone turns off the switch or something... its ANNOYING more than anything else... like hey, i was enjoying that, wtf.
I don't mind looking into that well; it's just a matter of maneuvering around in it, finding warmth and pleasure in it, creating in it, bringing imagination into it, in effect bringing light into the darkness.
Have you ever gotten a therapeutic massage? Not to cum on the massage table, although if you do happen to have an orgasm, nice bonus, but to just to learn to relax with another person's hands touching you, in a therapeutic way. After a deep massage, I feel relaxed all day. It feels like being drunk but with full mental cognition. It's spiritually centering.
Also the women who are nervous about sex/orgasms with intercourse,
maybe you'll be able to 'loosen up' some with a darker room, I understand some of the issues are from past issues, but maybe with the right person & environment it'll help you get past that?
Good idear Kool.. I've done that with many woman , it just comes natural to me to give massages to women, it does help ppl relax...
Then they can;t see all my perceived flaws!
Yes, men do get offended if they think they can't get you to orgasm with penis alone.
I have even had men tell me that I am the first woman they have ever been with that could not. I want to tell them "No honey, those other women just faked it"
LOL!!!
Yah. I really don't know what to do. but I kinda want to go on a rampage. like, i've always been loyal, and i'm either in a committed relationship or i'm single and generally keep to myself. and you know what? all last 4 of my relationships accuse me of cheating, and I didn't. and i'm tired of it. and my-self esteem has been shot to hell and I want it back.
I want to feel pretty again. Or desireable again. and i'm really not a bad looking person at all. I do cool shit like ride horses and train them, but maybe that is intimidating to most men. Like they don't like a woman who can pick up hay bales and throw around 1000 plus pound animals. and the dixie chicks said it right to where have all the cowboys gone. I want to go to the Paralympics and compete via horseback. Like im cool as hell and I like to laugh. So sick of all this serious bullshit.
Like, I need to get laid and not feel bad about it.