I absolutly agree with Racing girl !

I was in a failed marriage and I would do it again with the right woman. My Ex-wife was mentally Ill and very abusive and I gave years of my life to trying to make it work. It would never work and I am happy for once in my life that I don't have her around anymore to ruin it.

I believe marriage is sacred and a bond between man and woman! It is taken way to lightly these days and apparently has little meaning to a lot of people.

Staying through thick and thin: Ah, the marriage VOWS. "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, 'til death do us part." The eternal bond. The comfort and security. Yes, I'd like that, and I'd like to do that. I guess I don't like anybody that much and nobody likes me that much. How does one determine this like? Besides physical attraction, people have to TALK, and LISTEN, honestly communicate, see if they have anything in common, emotionally, similar sensibilities spiritually, about politics, technology, taste in movies, music, other forms of entertainment . People spend too much time ahem fucking and not enough time talking. I don't expect to find, or form, my exact clone, that would be boring, and it's those individual differences that create spice in a relationship, but we've got to see eye-to-eye on SOME things.

To some, a marriage is a legal contract. A "piece of paper" that allows you to have certain tax breaks and legal rights. To others, it is a religious commitment. To some, it is both. To others, it is a unnecessary formality.

To some, it is a trap ... that binds them to someone and limits their freedom.

I fit into the category of a marriage having religious significance and ensuring me and my wife of legal rights that are frequently denied those that are not married. (If you think the legal benefits are no big deal, as the marriage equality people what is so important about being able to be married). Most important to me is having a relationship where BOTH parties are committed to each other and share common values and goals. You can get that without being married, but the religious and legal benefits of marriage are important to me.

Yes, that's the ideal, bigguy! It depends on WHO you're married TO, whether you truly LOVE each other, enough to WANT to give the person you love those legal rights. BOTH have to demonstrate that love to each other, through kindness, real emotional heat, good communication, talking a bit...then LISTENING, REALLY LISTENING!

It goes without saying that kind of mindful, mostly selfless, unconditional commitment is extremely rare, that there's A LOT of selfishness around. There has to be A LITTLE self-interest and self-centered agenda, because at the end of the day, we're looking at ourselves and asking ourselves "Am I happy?", but there also has to be SOME accomodation for another, 'cuz being completely alone sux.

Being "alone" certainly does suck. But living together is not all its cracked up to be either. My great aunt and a guy lived together for many years. Each had been married and it made sense to them to "share" expenses. When my great aunt got sick the one and only time, he, without telling any family, sold all her stuff. He being just a co-habitation person had no right to do this. I'm still angry about this sort of thing years later. When I heard he had died, I said good riddance and I mean it.

And you think, if they were married, being married would have prevented this, Mary?

It is a community property state. She trusted him but he had no legal rights concerning her stuff. The family heritage was in her position. Her son should have gotten her stuff. But he told no one in the family what he was going to do.

So "no" then?

I guess I don't understand what you are saying. But if they had been married instead of shacked up, I wouldn't think of him as such a bastard for that deed.