Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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I just can't make up my mind

MaryContrary
MaryContrary

Having been brought up in religion which says sex is only for married people who were virgins or widowed before.  That is almost impossible!!!!  Especially at my advanced age these days. 


Anyway, I hesitate to get involved more than friends because of fear of pain, loss of respect, and a really bad memory of a man who tried to tear my clothes off at about 2 years old.


I fear giving my trust completely to someone.  That is how I feel about sex.  It is more about trusting the other person than physical.  The naked thing is hard but I could if the trust was there. I'm not exactly a virgin but I disconnected my body from my brain with one man.  That was 15 years ago.  Nothing since.


I don't want to stay alone but I don't want to feel like I have betrayed myself either.

koolman
koolman
It's natural to feel that way given your bad experiences with men. Trust: What are you trusting a man to do and not to do? Visualize that, then articulate it in words to any potential male suitor. Men are not exactly comfortable with first-time sex with a new woman either. We have no idea what we're doing. Anything that helps you both RELAX is good. Baby steps. Start by letting a man you're interested in give you a backrub.
MaryContrary
MaryContrary
Thanks koolman! I think the man I am interested in knows but he is not interested in anything long term but friendship. I guess that will have to do till someone else comes along and sweeps me off my feet. I am greatful for your point of view.
SpaceC0wb0y
SpaceC0wb0y
Hello Mary. I'd like to ask a few questions if you don't mind? I understand some things may be difficult to discuss openly, so feel free to respond in a private message if you'd prefer.

1. What is your religious orientation, and how influential is that religion/faith to you?
2. Have you ever maintained a sexually active relationship? If so, could you describe that relationship to me (the interpersonal dynamics, not the actual sex-yet)?
3. What is your current life circumstance (working, single, retired, etc)?

I look forward to working with you towards living better!
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