I’m seeing a woman that came off as somewhat reserved in bed. I remind her that I want to make her feel good. I want her to tell me what feels good for her and encourage her to be vocal. It seems to relax her.

I have sometimes thought that my preferences seem, unusual, perhaps kinky, until I find out that others share similar views. Thinking of yourself as kinky is not a good start to help your self-confidence.. I feel that sex is not a good way of starting a relationship. Why not start by talking about other things you have in common - hobbies, your work for example - and then introduce sexual attitudes and preferences when you have got to know each other better?

The excitement of someone new is also the anxiety of someone new. I second what Barry said--get to know each others as friends first. Don't "hook up" with random strangers you just met, however hot they may look. Friendship first may not be as exciting as sex with random strangers, but it'll form a warm bond that'll stop you from freezing up in the bedroom when it comes to expressing your sexual desires. There's nothing hotter than when two people deeply understand each other!

When you're alone, in private, write down a list of activities and fetishes that turn you on. Then read the list out loud. Getting comfortable with a sexual vocabulary helps bolster confidence. Also, a lot of guys, myself included, love a woman who can talk dirty.

I agree with the others . Build a connection, trust and good communication and it should help you to feel safe and relaxed sexually so you can be yourself.