Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Hello guys, I'm new to the site and this is my first post so go easy on me lol
i am 34 and my boyfriend is 37, we have been together for 5 years.
i don't really know where to start with the issues lol
i wouldn't say I have a particularly high sex drive but it seems my boyfriend has a constant sex DIVE!
We've always been a bit awkward in the bedroom and things have never gone smoothly, for the first year we didn't have sex because he had issues rising to the occasion due to phimosis, we seemed to move on from that which was great but then his diabetes issues seemed to affect the physical side of things again so was yet another mountain to climb. It always feels like there's some obstacle, I feel bad sometimes for complaining when it's him going through constant struggles but it feels like there's more to it than illness a lot of the time, it feels like he's just not interested, I feel like we could never have sex and he wouldn't even notice it was missing from our relationship.
The problem is, I'm am 'frustrated' and it doesn't seem to phase him that I have needs or desires and on top of that I'd like to have children and the lack sex is making that near on impossible.
could I possibly do something that will spice things up to get his interest?
Interested in hearing from men too as to what floats your boat, give me some ideas lads
thanks
A lot of men like dirty talk and being complimented on performance. Role play could also help. Oral is usually a good thing also, but I don't know if you do that or not. I have this feeling thought that your situation is going to be one sided with you giving everything. That is NOT how it should be! I feel men should give their partner just about anything they want in bed and make sure their needs are being met.
I wish you luck!
Thanks for getting back to me guys, I guess I read too many erotica books and romantic films and get lost in them and forget it's not real life. Just wish there was a bit more spontaneity, lust and passion with us rather than sex being a big to do and something to be planned.
Even when there is a bit of passion there he doesn't seem to be able to 'get there' it's like his brain goes into overdrive and stops him enjoying it, kinda like he's thinking about how he has to come and the more he does, the less likely it is to happen. I suppose also it hurts a bit that feel that if he enjoyed it that much he wouldn't be able to think.........
Has his testosterone levels been check lately? Low T can also create the issues he's having when it comes to sexual desires.
Just for someone to have that feeling of 'I have to have you now' about me is all I want, but it's just such a boring chore. And to make things worse, I'm 34 and I really want kids and I'm starting to feel like it won't happen, I don't go on about it to him because I don't want to add to the pressure of 'getting there'