You have the right to a good sex life. All I can say is one thing I learned is that victims have rights. You have rights. You did not violate another person's rights, they violated yours. That your husband knows it happened and is understanding is good. You will always be a victim of what others did to you, that cannot change. Accept it. Even after that, your rights are still intact and you have the right to have good consensual sex.
Lastly join a support group and meet others, it has a way of echoing back to you.

Agree with geoyur77 except for "always be"
That implies that being abused defines you as "stained or defiled"
When In fact it proved that you are innocent and beautiful.
Abusers want that innocence and beauty, they do a good job of fooling and mindfucking the abused that they can take it from them . They cannot.
The innoncene and beauty can only leave you if you do bad things to other people .

Your innonce and beauty remains. Let yourself see that

Please don't take my words wrong as this is a realization I came upon through life after being sexually abused as a child.

An observation I have made through life is a large majority of people (male and female) that have been sexually abused as children either go one of two ways with their activity. The first is to be very sexually active either with multiple partners or solo and the second is to shut down and shun sex. Both of these paths can be very damaging to a relationship.

In your situation I would say something that might help is to focus more on the moment and the time being spent with the person you love. What happened to you was not right and I am sorry, but on the other side you are punishing your husband for what someone else did and took from you. This is very hard to do at the beginning, but try hard to associate making love with the sexual acts with your husband and separate that from what sex is in your mind. To clarify sex is only the physical act as to making love has love and emotion, trust, and respect.

I hope this helps some.

Hi I have been through abuse to and I know what you are going through. I understand and I am here anytime you want to talk privately message me. I use to get that way to at times but I got over it. I am in therapy for trauma now which is very helpful. But I did manage to find love with a wonderful man that is also very patient and understanding we have a great relationship but we are separated now due to other circumstances. However sex has to be viewed as something other than the abuse that happened to you. When you are sharing intimacy with someone you care about it is not the same as being abused. it is consensual and sometimes some of the same things are done but it is ok he is not hurting you you have to tell yourself that in your head at the time you are having sex it is ok he is not hurting me.