Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
So I am 18 years old and I am a virgin other than when i was raped last year. I've always felt like intimacy, things like hugging or kissing are gross and hugging just gives me anxiety. Whenever I've kissed someone it felt weird to me like I wasnt ready. Most people my age are ready and already are having sex but when Im with a guy i get terrified of thinking they might kiss me or make a move. I can pleasure myself fine and think about sex than but when it comes down to being in a situation where it could happen I get really scared as if I'm not ready. I have felt this way even before my rape and I feel like I'm in grade 5 thinking of people having sex or kissing as absurd and gross. I dont find this at all normal and I just dont know where this fear and anxiety of sex comes from. I feel like Ill never be ready and that I'm juvinille in my thought of sex. Can anyone explain this? and dont say this is normal because I feel different thinking sex is gross. I find a penis to be gross and awkward and It disgusts me to think about while I m straight.
deleted_user
Thanks for the clarification! I agree with most that you may just not be ready yet. That's ok. I do think you should talk to a therapist or someone who may be able to help you figure out why you are disgusted by certain things. If your feelings do not stem from being raped (which I could imagine would be very traumatic) then maybe there is something else bothering you? Try to figure out what makes it disgusting. Is is how it looks? Is it how it feels? Have you had some other bad experience that grossed you out at some point?
awesomeself
When I was your age, I really liked men, and I loved everything except the penis. My step-brother had forced me to touch his when I was 12, and I was so utterly disgusted by it that I really didn't care to touch or look at another one for a very long time. And when I did have sex, at almost 19, I didn't look at it or touch it with my hands or mouth at all. It took a few times of getting naked and being intimate for me to stop seeing the penis as something that was good for intercourse but not good for seeing or touching. And my experience was nowhere near rape. It was one incident, but it remained very vivid and gross in my mind for many years.
koolman
The penis: You don't have to like the LOOK of it, you just have to like it IN YOU lol!
koolman
So I guess you won't be into BJs then when you get older lol?
Joe100
I think you haven't found the right penis.
Cour2520
I'm a virgin...
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