Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
So I am 18 years old and I am a virgin other than when i was raped last year. I've always felt like intimacy, things like hugging or kissing are gross and hugging just gives me anxiety. Whenever I've kissed someone it felt weird to me like I wasnt ready. Most people my age are ready and already are having sex but when Im with a guy i get terrified of thinking they might kiss me or make a move. I can pleasure myself fine and think about sex than but when it comes down to being in a situation where it could happen I get really scared as if I'm not ready. I have felt this way even before my rape and I feel like I'm in grade 5 thinking of people having sex or kissing as absurd and gross. I dont find this at all normal and I just dont know where this fear and anxiety of sex comes from. I feel like Ill never be ready and that I'm juvinille in my thought of sex. Can anyone explain this? and dont say this is normal because I feel different thinking sex is gross. I find a penis to be gross and awkward and It disgusts me to think about while I m straight.
Avoid sex. You're not ready yet. You're still exploring your childhood, and this is OK.
I also agree with Koolman that you should not do things your not feeling comfortable with.
Try to get some professional help - it does work if you work with it.
Best of luck!
Just be a kid. Enjoy childhood things. Regress. Recapture that innocence. Eventually, you'll meet a shy little guy who doesn't intimidate you at all, and then you two will, in the fullness of time, have some "fun". No rush.
I agree with the others, therapy can help you find out why you have the fears and thoughts you have and will also help you deal with the emotional trauma of rape.
however, have you ever entertained the idea that maybe you are not 100% straight? l remember having to st down and think about how straight l really was at one point. can be a tough talk to have with yourself, but worth t.