Communication is the key to any successful relationship. While your laying in bed one evening, not especially during, right before or after sex, just an evening maybe when your watching TV. Tell him you'd like to have a serious conversation.

Start by assuring him that there is nothing wrong, you love him, you love your life together, there's just one area where there could be a bit of improvement. Then explain that during sex, he gets to excited and caught up in his moment and excitement that he kind of forgets that you need to have the same kind of exciting moment also. Suggest different ways that both of you can enjoy sex more. (research ahead of time) Maybe new positions, new lubes, new sex toys, add some spice to your sex life and wake it up a bit. And just reassure him that your not angry or throwing blame, it's just something you wanted to discuss so that you both are having the same great experience.

Hopefully he'll listen and things will change.

If there is something he does that you really like or even something he has done that you wish did more often, tell him “You really turn me on when you do .... I wish you would do it more.” If you wish he did something differently, try, “I love it when you..., so I’d love to try...”

As a man, I can tell you that is a BIG deal. Early in our relationship, my (now) wife told me she really liked it when I gave her oral sex. After that, I felt super confident and made sure to do that a lot because she liked and it made me feel like a good lover.

What about a boyfriend who is always saying how they love to go down on you but they rarely ever ACTUALLY do it. How can that be explained.

Right ! I to am in a similar situation. . I am very sexual woman and my husband just wants fast sex ! I am craving more !

Hi. First time here. I joined the sexless marriage group which I liked as there are a few insightful and articulate people there. I received some good advice but mostly it was nice to see I wasn’t alone. I am not in a sexless relationship anymore but it’s A LOT slower than I would like. I tend to have a lot to say, for various reasons I wouldn’t get into now. Let’s just say that I was blessed with a new perspective on life which has brought love and acceptance for myself. This fairly unique situation has finally helped me to understand why my marriage is fading, among other things. I am very interested in talking about solutions. Not commiserating. Hoping this may be a more appropriate forum. My wife (LL=love of my life) and I have been married for 25 years and love eachother. Although lately it’s much more me, as I feel like I have just fallen in love with her all over. I want sex. I would love it every day. For hours. But she is living with depression which, understandably, makes it difficult to engage. The work I’m doing on myself is lifting my spirit and restoring my self confidence. Not needing her for my happiness, but wanting her has made a big difference in our relationship and she’s been warming to my touch. Not pushing the sex AT all. I’m patient and kind with her because we’ve been distant for so long it’s taking time to rebuild trust on both sides. The cuddling recently blisses me out. Just touching her in anyway is wonderful and I am thankful for all of it. So, little background. Enough for now. I want to respond to the quick sex. I am seeing how bad that is. When it becomes a habit. Cause habits create behaviors that start to define us. I was getting frustrated with quickies. In fact given the opportunity I usually decline. Would rather wait till a chance where we can relax and take our time. Because only having sex infrequently, I found I got excited to quickly. And the sex became unsatisfying for both. I am learning how to strengthen myself to improve this. I usually get us both off after, but not what I want. The sexiest thing she can say to me is to take my time. Then I can relax and enjoy the moment, not head to the end. Just wanted to warn folks about the danger of this. Especially as a middle aged man, I am finding it’s even more important. That’s good for now. Wanted to say hi and see if there’s individuals here who are in a similar place I am? I will check in later. :)