GiveMeWin: I agree with you. "Why not have fun?" Well, I'm concerned about VD and pregnancy. Why risk it when I don't even love the person? Condoms and lots of lube...

MGD: Not to get religious here, but the Lord sure works in mysterious ways, doesn't He? Thank God YOU didn't get his girl who you didn't love pregnant! That would've been a disaster and a lifetime of misery.

good question?hmmmmmmmmm i like the emotion and passion in love making.looking in the eyes,gentle caresses.the cuddling.so thats why i'm still a v.a.d.(virgin after divorce).

Hey again...a clarification: Sounds like I may have come across wrong. I did not mean to insinuate being irresponsible. ;)

simple63: V.A.D. Interesting! Yeah, it'd be nice to feel that "heart" connection in addition to the beastly animal impulses. Hang in there, buddy.

I have once, didn't end well. Not doing it again!

Perfectly content with keeping the two seperate for now.

lol i have plenty of the beast,just like the heart to beat for othere reasons than pure animalistic sex.well guess thats not a bad reason for it to beat lol

Forgive me if this comes through twice. I could have sworn I posted it already, but don't see it here.
I haven't had that problem but urge you to do all you can to sort it out.
Sex with someone you deeply love and like is the best feeling in the world.

trainwreck: I feel ya babe. I'd just settle for lust at this point, but that doesn't give me enough spiritual fuel to want to keep living. I guess I have to love MYSELF; can't rely on someone else to love me, because the fact is, all human beings are trying to SURVIVE. Call it selfish, but people want YOUR love and how often do they give THEIR love in return? Only when it suits THEIR purposes. At least this is my jaded view at the moment. Maybe if I see someone rescuing a cat or helping a kid tomorrow, I'll change my mind. But, when it comes to adults and their relationships, it just seems as though people are out for themselves. Happy holidays!

Ah, but rescued cats are usually much more lovable than humans *grins*
I'm not sure I understand myself exactly what people mean by love, it often seems to be some conveniently vague and meaningless excuse-word ("but I love you babe, she meant nothing to me at all, honest".)
But I'm reading the letters of Ninon de Lenclos at the moment, she seems to have an interesting perspective on the whole love thing and even manages to make it seem like fun (now there's a novel concept :)

Phoenix, I guess I should qualify what I mean by "love" as to say a "blending of the hearts". But the heart is fickle, and this type of love is probably merely infatuation. REAL love is a CHOICE that requires real value in the person as a better alternative to being alone, and requires a conscious and continuous commitment. Let's face it, folks, it's a lot of work. But, if two people's personalities gel well together and people have a genuine LIKING toward each other and like talking about things outside the bedroom, it doesn't have to be a laborious chore. So I guess I'm looking for someone who, like me, is a movie geek and enjoys talking about philosophy, the arts, religion, math, science, technology, etc., etc.

I am very deeply in love with a woman I have never made love too go figure

Jagiellio: Just curious--have you had any DESIRE to pursue sex with her? And have the two of you ever talked about this and what it might do (if anything) to your deep love?

I believe true friends should be able to talk about anything--no secrets.

In my head, I can separate the two pretty darn well... It's my heart that I have trouble with...

"In my head, I can separate the two pretty darn well... It's my heart that I have trouble with..."

melbelle: YES!!! You get it! That's the problem I've been having too. Do we follow our heart or our head? Or both? It's so damn confusing at times. I'm trying to put BOTH into every new woman I meet and see what gels.