Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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koolman 06/22/2011

The thinking is that sex will, given the size of my loads and the 2% unreliability of condoms, inevitably lead to a whole brood of children. It's not that the desire isn't there and the seduction technique doesn't work, it's just this constant, nagging fear that I won't be able to do my part to provide for a family given my income. This fear has always stood in the way of me aggressively pursuing someone and enjoying the kind of dogged, relentless sex life I for one always dreamed of.

Any other guys in the same boat? How do you conquer this fear? Trust in God or some magic karmic source that the cosmos will somehow magically provide, and then work very hard in some field to get promoted, etc.?

davex 06/23/2011

kool, having almost been an unwitting victim/father in a scenario similar to your brother's I can relate. There's definitely a huge conflict of interest when one partner wants kids and the other doesn't but the one who wants them is responsible for birth control.

deleted_user 06/23/2011

Kool, if you live in fear of what might or might not happen, you're just existing, you're not living.

If everyone lived in fear of pregnancy, no one would be having sex unless they were trying to have a baby. Using BC properly, whatever kind of BC it is, chances are very low of pregnancy happening. Pregnancy is a risk everyone takes unless they are sterile but you take risks every single day of your life in many ways. You can get seriously injured or killed every time you go somewhere in a car but do you stop yourself from driving or riding in a car out of fear of the "what ifs"?

If you have health insurance, many health insurance companies do cover sterilization in men and women. As Merc pointed out, if you find a woman your age, chances are she already have kids and/or she doesn't want to get pregnant at her age.

I laughed at your comment about women your age being physically and emotionally decrepit. Must be that Florida weather and the way too hot, humid summers. Us northern women stay young very late in life, the below freezing temps in our very long winter months preserve us well. ;o)

blue3rose 06/23/2011

so, if u cant afford 2 get fixed n dont wanna have kids mayb u should look 4 a woman whos already gotten fixed herself.

just a thought! but i still think id use condoms till i got 2 know where shes been befor u. imao

koolman 06/23/2011

Thanks, guys and gals. And, yes, a vasectomy is no preventor of STDs, so pregnancy is the least of all of our worries these days.

But...true, leather, live in fear and you're just existing. Live in love and you're really living. Trying to feel warm inside, and that warmth will, in the fullness of time, attract another warm soul. And am trying to talk my way into more cinematography work in Miami, which I really love, am good at, and pays quite well, when it's there. Love your job, love your SO, life is made.

Thanks!

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