Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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jekelhyde 04/30/2011

Two years ago when I was on the rebound, I briefly dated a lady who was also recently split up from her boyfriend. We decided that neither of us was ready for another relationship at that point but we went to Karaoke together for a couple months. Hugs were as intimate as it got at that time. She got back together with her b/f and I've been through 3 relationships since then.

She recently contacted me through the dating site where we met. Her boyfriend is not giving her the intimate attention she needs and she wants me to provide it.

She's going to tell the b/f that they will no longer be lovers, just friends (they live in the same apartment building) and she plans to meet me only at my house. Yesterday we met for coffee and she gave me a bag with 2 boxes of condoms and a package of lube. She didn't want her b/f to find them while she's packing to move to a different apartment in the building.

I do not like being deceitful in any context, it almost always leads to problems. It's also pretty hard for me to not develop emotional attachment to women I'm being physically intimate with.

I've pretty much agreed to at least one session of all out passion but I told her if it's going to be an ongoing thing and she insists on keeping it a secret that, once a month is probably the most we should meet.

Advice and opinions welcome.

deleted_user 04/30/2011

bone her like you own her...

davex 05/01/2011

wb Mobi! Always succinct. I like that. J, really this one is all how you feel. No one can really give you advice on this because everyone feels differently. I'm too the point where I don't get attached simply by having sex with someone and so I'd probably do it as much as she wanted especially if she is good in bed and she really does not want strings. But I know in the past I would not have been able to do that without getting attached and it would have turned out badly. Just depends where you are in your head and in your life.

deleted_user 05/01/2011

it sounds like you tend to get emotionally attached easily but this woman does not sound like the type to take a risk on.

from what i read, the woman's emotional needs are being met by the "friend." but, now, she wants you to provide her physical needs.

she is acting like a queen bee. she has both of you on the string.

screw her if you want but don't risk your heart on this one. you won't be able to win her heart. i doubt if any man ever will.

koolman 05/02/2011

I'm not really thrilled with the concept of being "the other man", but it seems to be how it's going for me too.

I knew someone who was exactly like this. Had a guy but also kinda liked me too. I decided not to really pursue her, because it was starting to confuse me and hurt like hell. I was really starting to like her, and that was the problem.

bigguy3 05/02/2011

Only YOU know if you can be in this type of relationship. I know that I couldn't ... I'm the type that has to have an emotional connection with someone before I can be physically intimate. I'm also the type that can't share someone when it comes to relationships. I'm fine being a friend and talking or hanging out .... but that is as far as it goes unless there is going to be a commitment to a relationship. Everyone is different though and perhaps you feel you could be in this type of relationship.

deleted_user 05/02/2011

Shallow relationships can be fun. I have had relationships where it was just physical. You can tell her you just want sex with her. That is ok..Or if you want more later you can re negotiate the relationship.
Have fun.

jekelhyde 05/02/2011

She called me today. She's decided to give her all-but-impotent boyfriend another 2 months to shape up and service her regularly. In the mean time she offered to introduce me to some other lady that's on the rebound and just moved into the apartment building. I wasn't quite sure what to make of that.

bigguy3 05/03/2011

It sounds like she enjoyed your services in her time of drought and is now introducing you to her girlfreinds so you can "cheer them up" as well. Perhaps you could turn this into a money making opportunity .... become a gigalo for women on the reobund. In exchange for services rendered you can ask for cash or gifts in exchange? LOL

Seriously, it sounds like she believes you are just fine with shallow, no strings attached sex with women that are not getting their needs met. If this is what you want then more power to you .... just be careful and protect yourself from STD's.

koolman 05/03/2011

LOL This sounds like a job interview: She told you "Your services are no longer required, but here's a letter of recommendation".

Be thankful you're valued enough by this lady as a stud, a piece of meat, with a dick big enough to satisfy any lady who comes along. Beyond that, if you're looking for something more warm and loving, pass on both of these two ladies. They're simply looking for a strong buck with a tool to satisfy.

I'd be tempted to take her up on her offer myself, but I'd be feeling rather dead inside, like I am now already (oh, well). Can't be feeling any MORE dead, right (hmmm...maybe we can)?

deleted_user 05/15/2011

this is amusing. a man doesnt want to be the other man feeling left out, used, abused, and tossed away yet expect women to accept that a guy has another woman on the side! this is something else!

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