I think it's important to think about your relationhip overall. Can you still connect outside of the bedroom?It's hard not to think that it's not you; that he doesn't find you attractive any longer, but can you put that aside, and ask ? Is he in good physical health?Emotionally what's going on.? Why does he think he has ED and needs pills? I wouldn't dissuage him from going to the Dr,. A complete physical is where I would start..

We do not connect outside the bedroom. Sex was the last thing that we had. He is abusive both emotionally and verbally.

You already posted this question and we all gave you some great advice. Did you not get any where with all the suggestions you got prior?

Or I should of said similar question not exact question.

Without trying to sound like a shrink....if he is physically abusive then you should protect yourseld physically first and foremost. I deal with the emotional abuse as well so I don't have a lot of room to talk there. I understand your frustration. We don't connect anymore either. I know this doesn't answer your question directly but please protect yourself

Wow, another marriage on the skids...

Since there's no civility out of the bedroom either: Ask your man, point-blank, if he really wants to pursue homosexual relationships. If he says "yes", go ahead and make a mutual and civil decision to file for divorce, as amicably as possible. Life's too short. You need to get laid, and so does he, by another man.

I read your previous post here and on some of the other boards. There's a lot more to this story than his contact with men from craigslist. He's not only abusive to you, he's abusive to your kids also.

From all your other posts, him having ED for whatever reason and you wanting sex is the least of your problems. You also stated recently on another board that you don't want to be intimate with him, you want to run when he kisses you (can't blame you for that, who wants to be intimate with an abusive partner?) but you give in to having sex with him to temporarily stop the abusive to you and the kds. You also said you only married him because you were afraid to be alone. You've been posting about all this since 2008!

Why are you still with someone who is abusive to you and especially abusive to your kids? No one can help you not even a therapist until you decide you really want help and you start taking responsibility for your own actions. He's an abuser but you're allowing it to happen by keeping yourself and your kids in an abusive situation. You need to step up to the plate, be an adult and take responsiblity for yourself and especially for your kids.

It really sucks to live in fear!!! I know that this has been going on way to long, but just when I think I have had enough, he will make some attempt to change and it never seems to last. I have been trying because I don't want to feel like a failure for a second time. My brain knows what I need to do, now just to deal with the fear.

That's what abusers do, they change temporarily long enough to regain your trust but that's nothing but an act, they don't really change, they're manipulating and then when they regain your trust they start abusing all over again.

Yeah, I know it sucks living in fear but the only way to not live in fear is to face the fear, deal with it and move on from it.

It's up to you to make the changes you need for your life and more importantly for the life of your kids. You said in another post your 2 little boys already treat you disrespectfully. Children learn what they see, do you want them grow up thinking abuse is the way life is supposed to be, that it's okay to abuse others and to be abused?

It's your responsibility to protect your kids from physical and emotional damage, it's your responsibility to break the cycle of abuse. You owe that to your children. If it takes getting professional help then do it, if not for you, do it for those 2 boys.

It sounds like you need alot of support. I say like the others that you should care less about the sex and more about protecting yourself and your kids from the abuse!

My wifes biological father was physically and verbally abusive and eventually raped her sister who got pregnant for which he spent 5 years in jail for. I met the guy years later and he seemed like a real nice guy to me but not according to the stories I heard from the rest of the family! My wifes mom took his abuse for 25 years because she was afraid like you but please don't wait for the worst to happen, get the hell out now!

The abuse is only going to get worse, the more they can get away with, the worse the abuse gets!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

find a battered womens shelter...they can and will help you get out of the situation and move on....but only if YOU WANT to get out and move on....i was in a similar situation...scared to go for years. got in touch with an advocacy group...they helped me with orders for protection, to get him out of the house and i was finally able to move on with my life...you WILL find bigger and better...quit settling for less than...you ARE worth more....good luck