bdsmalways I hope you find that special person to help you fulfill your fantasies. I'm a Daddy more than a regular Dom. But I can and do Top if need be. I understand to some extent the need for someone to give over control to a partner. I really truly hope you find someone worth of the gift of your submission.

i love having a dom. now if they can come out with a dom that has two women in his life and bed together. omfg that would be hot. just thinking about it makes me excited!

ps never readd the books just heard about them. i just love living the life.

Imbertswife you just hit on a lot of guys best fantasy. Wish I could say been there done that. But it's only been just on rare occaisons. Two ladies was fun but somewhat exhausting. Trying to pay equal attention to each one takes some doing. Me with another guy and a lady friend was much easier. I had my role and he had his. I loved seeing how much it pleased her. I'm totally into getting great positive responses from ladies. But yes I'm still a human being. And I want to be pleased as well. Anyway if that ever comes out I would definitely like to see it.

It's only a movie. It's fiction. I realize books and movies are powerful persuaders, but if you can tell people who may criticize your lifestyle because they saw the movie and think it's gospel "that's bullshit--it's not the way it really is", I think you'll be fine.

It's a whole lot more fun to actually do it that watch it. :)

i've been all over the place since they started advertizing this movie coming out. i frankly do not like the idea of putting BDSM on display in this way. mostly cause the general public doesn't really know about how much goes into the consent and safety. and there will be those weekend kinksters spring up and get themselves hurt. hell i watched the try guys (youtube) try BDSM and it was funny but very sad to me. i don't know bout others but this is all very special to me cause its not a silly taboo, its part of who i am.

but all in all the worst part is those feelings rising up for me. i have enough experience with both Dominating and submitting (i'm a Switch) that all this is going on has got me longing for a really good play session. in my area there aren't the most reliable practitioners of this sexuality. i learned early on even before actual experience that trust and safety are paramount. two things those i've met so far they don't respect.

now the flip side is that it has opened up a dialogue with my primary that i could not have had a few years back. i am able to tell him why i enjoy it and what some of the different things are that actually have very little to do with sex but are more of a comfort thing for me. he is vanilla. always has been. that being said he didn't mind me going elsewhere, but now he is much more open to listening to the why's and what's of it. he still prefers i find somebody else to provide that, but he is open to understanding it while admitting he is not comfortable doing it himself.

i wanted to weigh in from my point of view. so there you go. ithis is really the only place i can say this stuff. so thanks for listening.

I'm encouraged by these responses. It proves to me that there's plenty of competent compassionate people in this lifestyle to keep things going well. I wish all of y'all the very best and many many orgasms.

It should be called 50 shades of crap. The film was awful. Only went to see it because I got free tickets, popcorn and a drink. I don't like labels. Who cares about BDSM. It's just sex no matter what way you do or dress it up with whips and toys and give it the sex partners names like Dominant and submissive.
I think that BDSM is too much of game playing and there is too much emphasis put on if being kind of taboo. It's not taboo. Sex is sex with whatever words or orders you give to it.

Madame I agree with you. But I have to add that it does go beyond sex on occasion. There was a couple , my lady friend Topped the husband and I Topped his wife. They both were craving a play session and he was not 100% because of an injury. So they sought their endorphin rush after the session was over. Then it was up to the two of them to provide aftercare to the other. I don't know for sure but it's very possible it was a prelude to something more they did in the privacy of their bedroom. I got no sexual gratification from what I did. I just saw it as helping them out.