The message he's sending is, " your happiness isn't a big priority for me."
How many more years will you spend married to this guy when your happiness isn't a big priority to him?

ditch that sucker and get you a geezer with benefits and hang on for dear life..

Here is a frustrating thing I might add.....our cat gets endless affection. He pets her, gives her chin scratches and belly rubs. Is it because she can't talk and say how she feels? Ugh she gets more action than me and I'm so done!

I think you waited longgggg.. 5years is too much. and I hope as others pointed out you discussed directly with him. If he is in denial then you cant help. Please move on with your life.

Don't do anything for him.. Like cook, clean or his laundry. If he has comments about it ask him if the cat can do it for him. If he says the cat can't do it then say maybe he should try t please the one who butters his bread, whether he gets pleasure outfit or not. Tell him it's his new chore.
If he satisfies you, you will do your chores. If and then that doesn't open his eyes to your frustration, then the next conversation to him might have to be the discussion of counseling and or divorce.

That's awesome MsViv. I will definitely do that and see where it goes.

I agree, even though he has these issues, he can still please YOU. His not wanting to makes me raise a brow to this whole scenario. I know the feeling of being pushed aside, all is more important than me. Like you, his cat gets more attention, hugs and even KISSES then I do. I feel he's in this for the easy street in life. He's got a place, food, and a good woman that takes care of him, he doesn't need anything more. I say all the time, I am not your mother! DM me if you need to talk shan, I'm here.

All I can say is well said xbrokenangel

Thanks Drew. Seems like shan and I are in the same boat, only her man tells her reasons, mine only does excuses. I think she has a good leg to stand on seeing he IS talking. Idk if mine will last. It is hard to be ignored.

oh crappy day! I mixed up people, he wont talk to her, much like my guy :(

I've been married for 20 years and can't remember the last time we had sex. We both have different personalities and such. Much of it is that it's not that I don't love her as a wife and a mother to my daughter but we sleep in separate room (always have), we never hold each other, never kiss each other or anything. Basically it's like living with a room mate not a wife and though I love her as a wife and mother my soul is completely empty and has been for almost 15 years. We basically do our own thing and I've replaced my relationship with my wife with a relationship to that of animals so I dedicate most my time involved with them. Without them I'd have no reason to really want to be here. You can't force people to be attracted to you or see your points of view it just does not work that way. Neither of us have a desire anymore but I refuse a divorce because I want to do the honorable thing and make sure my daughter grows up with a father regardless of our situation. When we did have sex I felt it was just that..sex. I love my daughter to death and won't abandon her but I live a life of never knowing what it's like to have a woman really care and love me and show it. Then again, my marriage was pretty much pre arranged. Even though my daughter was the light of at the end of a very dark tunnel. Know? I just dedicate my time to animals and my faith (which is a kemetic neo pagan faith) and it helps me get through the lonely times. I miss sex but perhaps the gods have something else planned for my life who knows.

Someone mentioned cats getting more attention than the other person? I know with me my cat shows me more love and affection than my wife. A cat can show more true love and affection with the simple rub of it's head than a lifetime of handshakes and empty promises.

Humans can learn much from animals which is why they should be admired.

Time to move on with your life the guy will not help himself and you have done everything but drag his silly ass to the doctors time to move on

Sadly, sooner or later without sex you both will grow apart as in my wife and I and you'll be like two people just living together. believe it or not sex CAN be replaced by other things. Do you kids involved? I forgot to check. If not consider yourself lucky. If so you can end up just another stat, not me. The blame game goes both ways and the more you blame and push the more he will resent you trust me I know. My wife blames me for everything seems nothing is right in her eyes. All I do is give the cat a big wet kiss and that gets to her lol

I nearly divorced for the same reason.. and we were still having sex about once every 4-6 weeks. But it wasn't enough for me...so after a few years of that I was ready to walk