Yeah sounds kinda bad....he’s most likely manipulative when yr with him making you feel wonderful, troubled people can be like that, & if yr low in yrself yr responding to his games...I’ve had a similar thing to what yr describing. Im guessing yr intimate with him? I would suggest cutting off the sex & asking him if he just wants to be friends. See how he reacts. That’s what I did when I was in a similar situation to you, & the guy turned around and said he did want a relationship after all. Although, the relationship we had was pretty shit & then it ended for good. The 2 of us then had a 6 month break of no contact, but now funnily enough we’re very good friends & we both know no relationship is on the cards & there is no weirdness.

I wonder how you can feel wonderful with someone when they are not emotionally available to you.


He can’t make you feel anything. Those feelings are yours. Everyone is going to say he’s s piece of shit, a bad guy, but honestly, this to me is about you holding on knowing full well he’s not relationship material. You kind of have to own that. I mean, if you were not looking for a relationship, that’s different but sheesh, he’s telling you everything you need to know and yet you choose him. That is not about him in the least.

Spend all your free time trying to find someone who wants you, like he does.

Then it will be easier to move on

A little bit of attention probably seems preferable to nothing

Rush to find someone else, as this is gonna hurt

A member put up this story of Nigel recently and I thought it was so spot on that I swiped it....smile.......I've been here as well

It's really short and may get you thinking..... Big hug

Poor Nigel

https://www.chumplady.com/2018/02/poor-nigel/

I have been there! I would say this article helped me the most. I took a screen shot of the "list" shown in the box toward the end and I forced myself to look at it when I thought back to our good times. Here you go:

https://atrue.love/relationship-advice/emotionally-unavailable-men/

Some empowering books are:

"F* Him! Nice Girls Always Finish Single"

and

"Ignore the Guy, Get the Guy: The Art of No Contact" <- This one seemed a little harsh toward the reader at first, but upon reading it a second time I agreed with it.

Maybe he is not truly over his marriage and is emotionally unavailable. Don't allow yourself to be the person he wants to be with when he is bored, lonely or just wants sex. it will only get worse for you emotionally if you stick around and the damage that can come from being strung along is horrible. Stop now and walk away as you already seem to know you should. I've been trapped in a cycle for almost six years now with someone that has been divorced for six years and it has been a rolllercoaster through heaven and hell with lies, manipulation and games,and the more I try to jump off and run the more he fights and pulls me back in. i'm seeing a psychiatrist and I'm suffering from depression and severe anxiety, I'm losing my hair, my weight is fluctuating up and down and I sometimes don't know who I am anymore. Please please please don't put yourself in a situation that can ruin your life and diminish you desires for love..

It sounds like he really has a lot to work on within himself and dealing with his divorce. He's manipulating you and that is not fair to you or himself, and that wonderful feeling can only last so long until you are constantly becoming the person who is cleaning up his path of emotional destruction.

Your worth does not have to be in him. Find someone who truly desires you and wants a loving and uplifting relationship. You deserve it!

I’ve been in those shoes before. Honestly, it’s terrible. But you have to understand that there is someone out there that will do anything for you. Someone that will text you constantly to make sure you’re okay, someone that will make you feel wonderful even when they aren’t with you. In my experience, you find someone else.