Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I usually dont post but I am having a really hard time. I have been with my husband for 11 years. Back in 09 is when I had a stillbirth and 2010 i had my Julian.....then a year later i was pregnant with twins. So now julian is 3 and the girls are 1 1/2. We have had our ups and downs through out the relationship him talking to girl behind my back and just not being supportive emotionally.
SO when I had Julian he would sleep in our bed. I know its bad on my part but i wanted him close. So huibby would often sleep in another room by his choosing. He ended up meeting a girl on facebok that lived in mexico. They never met in person but they claimed they loved each other so I kicked him out of the house. this is while I was pregnant with the girls.Then came the girls. He wasnt there when they were born. he felt going to work was more important....i know right! I wasnt really getting any help with the day to day of taking care of them so i felt it was easier to let them sleep with me as well. Well he decided to come back home, he never meet the girl in mexico.
But our relationship was still strained. I was still taking care of the kids alone, working a full time job and he was still talking to girls behind my back. In January he meet up with a old high schol crush and I guess it wasnt what he thought it would be. He started doing some illegal stuff and got arrested and is now facing felony charges of theft.. All this was done behind my back.....so fast forward to now.....
I am still the only one really taking care of the kids and working full time and doing everything else that needs to be done around the house. He is a truck driver and is here but not really. He decided to go on vacation alone to Mexico to "see family" but in reality he went and meet uop with a girl that he meet on Facebook. She is 22 and lives in California and has 2 kids by 2 different men. He was suppose to be gone for 3 days and extended his trip for a week with out saying a word to me. He comes back home and asks for a divorce and I find out he poped the question to her while he was in mexico. They have been talking since about August.....I am sooo hurt and confused. I mean I know I put up with alot of stuf that I shouldnt have but really. Have yall ever went though something like this....do they ever regret it? It seems like money is all he thinks about. He went down there and showered her with things and was sooo romantic. things i couldnt get him to do for me.He said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that she completes him.
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SO when I had Julian he would sleep in our bed. I know its bad on my part but i wanted him close. So huibby would often sleep in another room by his choosing. He ended up meeting a girl on facebok that lived in mexico. They never met in person but they claimed they loved each other so I kicked him out of the house. this is while I was pregnant with the girls.Then came the girls. He wasnt there when they were born. he felt going to work was more important....i know right! I wasnt really getting any help with the day to day of taking care of them so i felt it was easier to let them sleep with me as well. Well he decided to come back home, he never meet the girl in mexico.
But our relationship was still strained. I was still taking care of the kids alone, working a full time job and he was still talking to girls behind my back. In January he meet up with a old high schol crush and I guess it wasnt what he thought it would be. He started doing some illegal stuff and got arrested and is now facing felony charges of theft.. All this was done behind my back.....so fast forward to now.....
I am still the only one really taking care of the kids and working full time and doing everything else that needs to be done around the house. He is a truck driver and is here but not really. He decided to go on vacation alone to Mexico to "see family" but in reality he went and meet uop with a girl that he meet on Facebook. She is 22 and lives in California and has 2 kids by 2 different men. He was suppose to be gone for 3 days and extended his trip for a week with out saying a word to me. He comes back home and asks for a divorce and I find out he poped the question to her while he was in mexico. They have been talking since about August.....I am sooo hurt and confused. I mean I know I put up with alot of stuf that I shouldnt have but really. Have yall ever went though something like this....do they ever regret it? It seems like money is all he thinks about. He went down there and showered her with things and was sooo romantic. things i couldnt get him to do for me.He said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that she completes him.
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I hope things get better for you. I m so sorry that he turned out to be such a disappointment.
He all but signed this deal. Take him for alimony and child support...get what is rightfully yours. Unfortunately, he isn't going to step and be a dad since he's already choosing someone so far away...you will need to reach and define your support system because the job of parenting is going to continue to fall on your shoulders.
I wish you well.
The most important thing for you to do at this point is think about yourself and your kids. You've obviously put up with way too much and it's time to let that go. I agree with a previous commenter that you should divorce him and go for alimony and child support. Start thinking about what you want now. Try not to wonder about what you did or didn't do right and why this other girl seems so special to him. Because this wasn't about you. It was about him and the kind of person he is. You and your kids deserve so much better. Look at this situation as a chance to start over, and you no longer have to put up with taking care of him, picking up his slack, doing everything he wouldn't do. He may be "so romantic" with this girl and doing everything for her that he wouldn't for you, but don't think for a second that it will last. You know the type of person he is, and he will do to her what he did to you. It's just how these guys are.
Stay positive!!