Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I am a 38 years old indian man and my wife is 31 years old. We got married in 2008. we have 7 years old daughter. I am a software engineer on MNC. In 2015 i went to USA for my project with my wife and daughter. I was in H1B visa and my wife and daughter were in dependent visa.
My wife was so caring and well hearted woman. As i am diabetic patient she always take care about my food and health. Her family member's are also very kind people. her elder sister is her best friend and she shared everything with her.
suddenly my wifes behavior was changed. even she stopped caring of our daughter. on day she insisted me for job. in dependent visa job is illegal but because of her insistence i take risk and searched job for her. she started her job. after job her ignorence for me and daughter was increased and she started taunting me for everything.
After some tome i found vulgar image of her with a young boy in her mobile. i was shocked. i asked her about this. she told that he is my friend and 10 years younger than her. and he came in our home in absence of me. after listening this i so sad and started crying. i love so much my wife and my daughter. i asked her that did she want divorce from me and want to marry with that guy. she also started crying and convinced me that this never happen again. i forgive her and never told anyone about this. but this will break my heart.
after few days i was found some messages where that guy told her "i love you and can't live without you" and she also replied him "i love you too" and asked him to show his penis. i asked her about this with anger and told her that i will file divorce and tell this to your parents. after this incident she went for job and left her phone in home.
after long time when she was never come to home then i called her office then they told that she was already left in half time because her daughter's health was not good. then i went to my daughter's school and i found she was never came here and i take my daughter with me.
i was too much tensed and wait for her. after some time i filed missing report. and tried to call that guy which whom she talked. he abused me and told he don't about her.
after 2 hours he messaged me that "now you are going to jail and i want to kill you but your wife will kill you." i was afraid for this. after sometime cops were come and told me that your wife filed domastic violence case so you have to leave this home for 10 days. i told them i never slep ever. and my daughter also told them that my daddy never sleps mom.
At the day of our hearing i also bagged her "for our daughter don't do this and asked her what is her problem". she laughed on me.
In the time of hearing she didn't proved herself. judged also supported me and said that this is not the case of domestic violance. judge rejected the case.
After hearing i thought that now i will try to convince her and we will short out this problem. But when i reached at home i saw that that her boy was with him and packed her bag i told her that i am going to india then she said she is going to new york not india and handed over my daughter to me and left me. even last time she never hugs our daughter. i was so sad. i dont know why this happens.
After 2 days i come back to india because i was afaird that she did not do any other case against me.
In india, after some days my daughter told me that mommy always told me that if papa will go to jail, then we will get green card and forced me to behave properly with that guy because we are going to became a family. my daughter also told me that "that guy also touches and kisses her force fully and cuts her foot with his teeth"
She was never contanted me and her family members for three months. she never receieve calls. in Whatsapp she blocked everyone.
My friend told me that in USA she filed asylum, and she says that her life is in danger in india but it is a lie because me, my daughter and her family members are still waiting for her. she wants to take green card by wrong manner. my friends also told me that in her friend group there are too many bed women who got green card by wrong manner and who sent their husband to jail in a false case.
i am in dilemma how to save my family. i love my family very much. what should i do. my 7 years old daughter also wait for her and sad for her. she always says when mommy will come. i dont know why this happend with me. our 9 years relationship is on the brink of collapse. what should i do?
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
@husband I commend you greatly for wanting to save your family, however from what you said it sounds like she stopped being a family awhile ago, especially getting involved with another man.
Also it sounds like you should start thinking about setting up a court date to file for visitation/custody. If that guy is really doing inappropriate things with your daughter you need to file for full custody ASAP. I'm reading way too much these days where the new boyfriend is either physically harming the child real bad or worse and abusing them until they're dead. I know you don't want that for her.
Time to make some tough decisions for the best interest of your daughter and you!
What you do is hire a lawyer. Anything else would be foolish.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R2F9f2Cl6Y
I've never thought that romantic, but...I know a few who do.
In India there are still arranged marriages and the newlyweds don’t even know each other well when they get married. It is possible that the wife just fell in love for the first time and in US nobody was here to stop her .
how can you say "i am playing innocent card"
actually you have made innocent face for women in your mind.
Who said that women do not make mistakes.
according to you women are always right.
kindly change your mind set.
by the way you said that situation smells like domestic violence, dear miss i said that in front of judge why she didn't said anything, she directly denied that i was slep her. my daughter also said cops that i never ever slep her and why she never told their parents.
huhhhh, actually you never understand the situation.
you said in india woman are struggling for basic rights, i want to say you don't know about india, here woman's have too many basic rights more than men's.
Even if I assume that women do not have basic rights in India, then this does not mean that women can do wrong for her husband.
husband are not enemy ok.
and i was run away from USA because my lawyer and friends suggest me that she can again do something wrong with me.
i want her again because of my daughter.
thanks for your wonderful opinion.
I want my wife again because in 9 year's she never did wrong things with me.
I believe on her because she proved in court by not saying false things against me.
Is it right to say to daughter that, dear we will get a green card only when Daddy goes to jail.
Who said that women are not wrong?
Many women do this by going to America.
This man is also victims of those women.
if she was right then why she not apply for legal divorce. and what is wrong if he came back to india, Again, why did this man stay in America to face the same problem, which is made by his wife.
come on women are not so innocent.
and husband why are you so for her.
think about you and your daughter.
who can say that she will never done again.
stop thinking about her.
may God bless you.
take care. i know she is wrong but stop thinking about her and do you job. if you think wrongly for her then this is harmful for you and your daughter.
I'm sorry that you're having so many problems and going through so much pain right now
If you're wife is telling these types of lies it's horrible and so wrong on every level
It's very callous and it's damaging to your daughter as well as you
I hope that you can find some answers for yourself..... ..I understand that you've written that you love her.....Maybe it's time to reassess just what you love......
I don't find the actions that you're describing at all lovable
Gentle hug and a blessing......xo