Healthy Relationships Support Group
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In a part time long distance relationship (he's here 2 months, then out West 2 months), and he just went back to AZ. We had a couple of rough weeks--spent last week together and he was sick a few days. Then he seemed to be distancing himself from me before he left--didn't want to talk to me. The first few days he was travelling I barely heard from him. He had a horrible train trip out there--took almost all week, and we had limited communication. I get that. Over the past 2 days we've been able to text more. Finally last night before he arrived we were able to talk for awhile. He told me that he loved me and missed me and sent me that in a text as well. Thought everything was fine.
I knew he was beat and was planning to sleep in, so I sent him a text this afternoon--just "good morning" and he replied he was going out for coffee. This was over 8 hours ago. Haven't heard a word from him since. I know he still needs to get to his friends where he was staying, and has things to do today. I'm not asking for the world--I know he's busy--but a quick text or call?
Why would he bother telling me he loved me and then ignore me all day? If he wants nothing to do with me, why is he bothering with me at all? He's across the country--if he's going to break up with me, why not just do it and stop playing with me like this?
The past week and a half have been torture for me. I keep thinking it's over between us, but then things seem ok again--briefly. Before he got sick last week everything seemed great between us. I don't get what's going on. Barely been able to talk to him lately, so I can't even ask.
My son says I'm overreacting, and that he's probably just busy and that guys don't place the importance on keeping in touch that women do. Does anyone agree? Am I overreacting?
I knew he was beat and was planning to sleep in, so I sent him a text this afternoon--just "good morning" and he replied he was going out for coffee. This was over 8 hours ago. Haven't heard a word from him since. I know he still needs to get to his friends where he was staying, and has things to do today. I'm not asking for the world--I know he's busy--but a quick text or call?
Why would he bother telling me he loved me and then ignore me all day? If he wants nothing to do with me, why is he bothering with me at all? He's across the country--if he's going to break up with me, why not just do it and stop playing with me like this?
The past week and a half have been torture for me. I keep thinking it's over between us, but then things seem ok again--briefly. Before he got sick last week everything seemed great between us. I don't get what's going on. Barely been able to talk to him lately, so I can't even ask.
My son says I'm overreacting, and that he's probably just busy and that guys don't place the importance on keeping in touch that women do. Does anyone agree? Am I overreacting?
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Its called priorities. It's a bullshit excuse. Like you said.. you aren't asking for the world.
There are days I don't talk to my husband all day. Be it with work, taking care of business, making room for our own personal needs, yeah being busy sometimes is an acceptable excuse. When you're secure in your relationship you don't need to constantly be in touch.
You guys need to discuss expectations with each other when you're apart. Maybe that will help you feel more secure.
I think most of the time the " he is not talking to me as much" or " not texting often enough" comes from feeling insecure in general and/or the relationship itself being unstable.
I m sorry that this is so stressful. Long distance relationships can be very difficult .
I'm so confused--so many mixed messages lately. He said he'd be back in Dec. and wanted us to go away somewhere "romantic" for a few days. He said he still wanted us to live together eventually, and we'd figure it out. We talked about me going out there to visit him once I have more vacation, and he sounded excited about that.
Thursday night he said he loved me and missed me.
But in between he's been distant--not communicating with me. I don't know what this means
Doesn't sound like its anything to be secure about. I guess a phone call to let her know he made to where he was staying is to much to ask. Or maybe its just not a priority in his "busy" life??
There is a ton of time and nothing to do... I would think it would be the perfect time to text and talk..
No one can say what the guy is thinking. I mean if you can't say, how can we know, right? I am afraid your anxiety is going to go through the roof even more if people who have never met you or your man start giving you more things to despair about. The only course of action in my mind , is the next time you guys talk, point blank ask him if he is still wanting to continue the relationship. If not, then you know. If he does, then you guys discuss each of your expectations and then negotiate the terms. I was in a long distance relationship for a couple of years and we had to figure this stuff out. But if I felt like I never knew where I stood, I would have ended it.
He was travelling for almost a week and still isn't settled anywhere.. He's probably exhausted
I did eventually (after almost 24 hours) hear from him yesterday and called him. We talked a few minutes--he'd been tired and wasn't feeling well-- and said he'd be in touch later. Again--nothing.
Last time he was in AZ we had a routine--I'd text him when I got up--he's respond when he got up. I'd text him when I went to bed--he'd answer--if not right away, then at least leave me a message for when I got up in the morning. Fri & Sat nights he'd call me before he went to bed, even if it was at 3-4 am just to say good night to me. And we'd text throughout the day about what we were doing, or about nothing at all. He just doesn't seem interested in communicating with me this time, and is doing the least he feels he can get away with. He's not even back at work yet and he's too busy. I can only imagine once he starts working tomorrow.