Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Research has found that there are three different attachment types:
SECURE: You find it relatively easy to get close to others and are comfortable depending on them and having them depend on you. You don't often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to you.
AVOIDANT: You are somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; you find it difficult to trust them, difficult to allow yourself to depend on them. You are nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want you to be more intimate than you feel comfortable being.
ANXIOUS: You find that others are reluctant to get as close to you as you would like, you often worry that your partner doesn't really love you or won't want to stay with you. You want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away.
Attachment types tend to gravitate more to their like kind although secure types are more broad in choice, one in two will attract to same type with the other one in two attracting to one of the other two types.
Attachment type is established in infancy with the mother being primarily responsible for.
Now the big question is, what attachment type do you consider yourself to be?
SECURE: You find it relatively easy to get close to others and are comfortable depending on them and having them depend on you. You don't often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to you.
AVOIDANT: You are somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; you find it difficult to trust them, difficult to allow yourself to depend on them. You are nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want you to be more intimate than you feel comfortable being.
ANXIOUS: You find that others are reluctant to get as close to you as you would like, you often worry that your partner doesn't really love you or won't want to stay with you. You want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away.
Attachment types tend to gravitate more to their like kind although secure types are more broad in choice, one in two will attract to same type with the other one in two attracting to one of the other two types.
Attachment type is established in infancy with the mother being primarily responsible for.
Now the big question is, what attachment type do you consider yourself to be?
I took the test also. My scores were 1.3 and 1.6 and it said " secure".
My last relationship lasted 13 years, and during it I became depressed, I had never before though been depressed.
I have been single now for six years, and in that time I have ridded myself of depression, does this mean then that my previous partner was depressed (without me knowing it and her knowing it for that matter - she rarely presented to me as being depressed but she did have multiple unhealthy addictions) and infected me with same?
And btw, unsurprising to me, I am considered a Secure Attachment type.
Previous research on attachment styles indicates that secure people tend to have relatively enduring and satisfying relationships.
I have been involved in two 13-year relationships, and all bar one of my previous partners left me, I wonder what that may mean. The most satisfying relationship I was in was my first, and she was the one I left, and I did so for just reason so I have no regrets.
According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 3.33, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 5.06, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance).
We have plotted your two scores in the two-dimensional space defined by attachment-related anxiety and avoidance.
The test put me in middle of two attachment categories I guess.
As you can see in this graph, the two dimensions of anxiety and avoidance can be combined to create interesting combinations of attachment styles. For example people who are low in both attachment-related anxiety and avoidance are generally considered secure because they don't typically worry about whether their partners are going to reject them and they are comfortable being emotionally close to others.
Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the dismissing region of the space. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that dismissing people tend to prefer their own autonomy--oftentimes at the expense of their close relationships. Although dismissing people often have high self-confidence, they sometimes come across as hostile or competitive by others, and this often interferes with their close relationships.
It says I dismiss people? Well, I am coming to the conclusion that I might be better off alone, and the thought of dating anybody right now is not on my agenda. The thing I'm little confused about, though, is why does it say I can be considered attachment style secure, however I am put in between anxious and avoidant?
No wonder a friend of mine thought I was bipolar (one minute want him to be with him, next minute don't want to talk with him anymore ever). I am very unstable seems like to him... but actually from what I am reading people who have had abuse usually develop personality disorder (multiple personality disorder), or CPTSD. This will all be very interesting to talk with my psychiatrist next month. I feel like I am accomplishing much on my own, however, which is how I'd prefer to do. I do not like confiding in people, or depending on them for things including medical dr.
I find as a Secure Attachment type I am more measured in the decisions I make, if it fails to make sense to me then I avoid it. Yes I do take risks, but only when I strongly sense I am going to achieve the result I am hoping for.
I have also experienced avoidant situations in my life but I fail to agree that that necessarily made or makes me avoidant, it was merely a fleeting negative experience that in a short period of time I overcame.
I know when I was young, most likely I was ANXIOUS type.
I was really dependant on my mother being a child and she really didn't love me and was not affectionate, but more abusive.
Years later of searching, failing, falling and getting up again...Now, I love company of myself, burned out of making others comfortable and really don't give a thing if someone doesn't want to be with me.