Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Where's the patience in misunderstanding?

emjaybar
emjaybar
I just walked 5.18 miles over an hour and 40 min. in the drizzly rain after I got out of the truck when my husband started picking another fight with me. There was a miscommunication and I apologized, said I misunderstood and he said "of course you did, you always do." After telling him he never gets it when I apologize, just berates me, where's the patience when I misunderstand" and got out of the truck at a stop sign. He turned around, caught up with me and said "So, you're not going out to eat?" (We were on our way to meet up with his son.) I said 'No' and he headed back. Really? That's it? I don't know why I even expect any kind patience or understanding when I misunderstand him, he never has. The good and the bad: 2 huge blisters on the bottoms of my feet, 508 calories burned, and over 11,500 steps taken. Awesome
ShastaSue
ShastaSue
I don't think anyone should do something that makes them unhappy and uncomfortable in order to make someone else happy.

What sort of person would WANT their spouse to do something that makes them uncomfortable?

If he is saying he wants you to be unhappy with something in order to make HIM happy.... I would say that makes him an unsafe person.
calirn13
calirn13
Why shouldn't you expect 100% happy... You shouldn't have to accept less
emjaybar
emjaybar
We talked and he agreed that having me do something that is uncomfortable is unreasonable. Giving him time to think and time to process is how it works for him. He said no, when I asked him if there were any deal breakers in our marriage. And just to clarify, I asked even if I don't wear the lingerie as often as he likes? He said he agreed that it would be unreasonable and disrespectful to make me do anything against my comfort level. I told him that my deal breaker would be him expecting me to do things that were uncomfortable for me.
As far as happiness, we are responsible for our own happiness. If that bucket is not filled, then it's up to me to fin dmy own. Why deny myself the ballet, plays, musicals, fine dining because he doesn't like it? I say go for it Em!