Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Hi
I just want a bit of advice. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, he is english and i am sikh indian. My family is very traditional and dont agree with my partner - they have never met. I find this very stressful as i have to seperate the two. My boyfriend lost his job in July and hasnt found work since and i am running a house and car on my own as well as buying food. he has been trying to look for a job but hasnt been successful yet. Im finding things tough as he isnt working as i am now overdrawn 2 and have four pounds to last me two weeks.,In terms of him being able to provide for me that isnt happening at the moment and i feel really stressed. How can i deal with both things, it was bad enough with just one, I feel depressed and not very happy and thinking what am i doing....
I just want a bit of advice. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, he is english and i am sikh indian. My family is very traditional and dont agree with my partner - they have never met. I find this very stressful as i have to seperate the two. My boyfriend lost his job in July and hasnt found work since and i am running a house and car on my own as well as buying food. he has been trying to look for a job but hasnt been successful yet. Im finding things tough as he isnt working as i am now overdrawn 2 and have four pounds to last me two weeks.,In terms of him being able to provide for me that isnt happening at the moment and i feel really stressed. How can i deal with both things, it was bad enough with just one, I feel depressed and not very happy and thinking what am i doing....
maybe if things are entirely too difficult, it may not be 'meant to be'. but, at the same time...some things are worth fighting for.
One, your b/f needs to find 'what he can' right now. Things are tough all over, but he needs to get out of the house and work where ever he can to help the household. Whether it's part-time or a full-time job he finds to hold him over.. he needs to take whatever he can.
Secondly, you must cut back on all expenses. Budget, budget, budget. Whatever you can decrease (monthly cellphone bills - get rid of internet for a while, cable - reduce the channels you can view, car insurance - find a lower rate, groceries - use coupons, make a budget and stick to it, even if it means eating cereal and sandwiches all the time) on a monthly basis will help add money to your pocket.
Look at the big picture. If your b/f is trying and willing to find something to help the bottom line; great. If not, you may be better off on your own; living within your means. You have to think all of this out and do what's best for you. This is not a marriage, but it is a foreshadowing of how things would be if you were married.
Think long and hard about this. Fate will only give you so many signs that you need to make some changes, then you are accountable for what actions you do or do not take.
Good luck hon. Everyone is struggling and making it some how. Hang in there.