Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
So we all know that in a relationship one tends to start out head over heels in love. Always on your thoughts, etc.... You love her, her family, share interests, laugh and love....And get married. And over time it feels things get taken for granted. The sweet things you used to do for each other are no longer done. Or not as often at least. Don't get me wrong, there is still incredible love,romance and caring but somehow it seems to be different. Life pulling you in all directions so to speak. I guess I am having trouble with the transition. I am still head over heels for her after 4 years.
My first thought was to just back off. If thats how she wants it then no more sweet e mails from me. But I won't do that. I won't be vindictive.
But still. I'm just not good at dealing with this stuff. How to not let my feelings get hurt if she doesnt reciprocate always. And I miss her perfuming my pillow when she goes away over night so I smell her, and I miss her responses to my sweet e mails.
I know I shouldn't do things for her with expectations, but I just ain't good at that.
My first thought was to just back off. If thats how she wants it then no more sweet e mails from me. But I won't do that. I won't be vindictive.
But still. I'm just not good at dealing with this stuff. How to not let my feelings get hurt if she doesnt reciprocate always. And I miss her perfuming my pillow when she goes away over night so I smell her, and I miss her responses to my sweet e mails.
I know I shouldn't do things for her with expectations, but I just ain't good at that.
Sometimes we have to let go life pulling us in all directions and get back to what really matters in life. No matter how busy people are with careers, family, chores, stresses, it's important to "make" time for the little things in life that mean a lot and keeps the bond strong.
I let her know what was bothering me this am. She cried. So I sent an apology to her, which she didnt respond to.
(sigh)
I wish you luck and happiness.
A woman I'd been seeing and I have definitely "cooled down" (we were never that hot to begin with; I was enamored with her, she wanted a friend), but we're still very comfortable together, laugh at the same jokes, feel incredibly close when we cuddle. I get her; she gets me. The honeymoon doesn't have to die!
All I said to her was, " You didnt perfume my pillow when you left". And she cried. I changed the subject quickly. I wasnt mean or anything like that. I know its a petty thing but to me little things mean a lot. Especially when there is stress in the relationship.
Funny thing is, she even mentioned it a week or so ago. I think her words were, "Honey, dont I always perfume your pillow when I go away?"
Apparently not.......
You could say "I love it when you......"
Or "I miss it when you don't...."
Thanks