Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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What's your opinion??

colleen2017
colleen2017

Please no judging.  What does everyone think about your s/o going to the casino before you get off work where he/she doesn't work. I meet him there. But only can stay for an hour as I have to pick up my child. He stays for a few more hours then comes home talking about these conversations he's had with other women. My response was you sure like chatting up other women.  He said get off of it. I said come on when I was there a girl walked by and you turned your head to look at her. In my opinion if he paid attention to me more things would be differrnt. People should worry about the person they are with and not paying attention to the opposite sex. We barely go out together and barely see each other and we live together. I think to some degree it's disrespectful to literally have the need to turn your head because the opposite sex walks by while you are with your s/o. What does everyone else think? Should I just pretend it doesn't bother me or talk to him? 

sjs777
sjs777
i'm fine with my s/0 going our without me, with of course the understanding its done with trust. perhaps offering to go out together might lessen his need to do so. as for flirting vs jealousy, jealousy is a tricky feeling, in that its often viewed as undesirable and causes distancing. jealousy dissipates when trust is upheld
sjs777
sjs777
as for him talking about his flirting (or why he does), it strikes me as odd. with limited information its difficult to know if he does so to make you jealous, angry, desiring him or just to instil hurt, regardless it would be disrespectful. my wife used to talk about how other men flirted with her to force a reaction from me - she wanted me to be more attentive to her with words of affirmation
colleen2017
colleen2017
Part of me feels that I'm 14yrs younger, tall, etc he thinks he can keep his options open. I think striking up conversations with the opposite sex constantly is disrespectful. If we are out together then he should be paying attention to me and not making an effort to turn his head when another woman walks by.
colleen2017
colleen2017
I do invite him out all of the time. But I feel he needs to make an effort also.
colleen2017
colleen2017
I work in retail and come across many men. A few asked me out etc. But I never chat them up or give them the wrong impression. In my heart that's not right..
rmb
rmb
Why does he not go out with you? There is no one I'd rather be out with than my husband. He feels the same.

What's the point of a relationship if you don't have companionship?
colleen2017
colleen2017
I agree rmb. I feel a person in a relationship shouldn't seek attention of the opposite sex. We had a huge discussion this morning. I said a relationship needs work and attention. I said being nice like smiling, holding the door or letting someone in traffic is one thing but chatting up the opposite sex constantly is another. He said he's in recovery. I said what do you think I'm in? I was in an abusive marriage for 10yrs. I said at the end of the day you're the one I need to share my day with. I'm in retail so I help many customers but I definitely don't chat people up. I said that will give them the wrong impression. He said so what? I said when you're in a relationship that's something you don't do.
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