Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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What's the Point of a Relationship?

koolman
koolman
It seems Friends...with Sex is the only good point about being in a relationship. Good lust, effective communication, where each person talks and the other person listens, both are understood, both help each other, both are giving, both make each other laugh when the other is feeling down.

The rest seems to be a bunch of negativity, torment, heartache. Differing communication styles, misunderstandings, hurt feelings based on the above, infidelities because things aren't going absolutely swimmingly...

Can someone please explain what IS working in their relationship, and why they're even in one, so I have a desire to be in one?
Aronia
Aronia
Koolman - selfishness is pretty common.. It is almost cultural here, so I understand what you mean. It is hard sometimes to notice at first that whoever you are with is really a selfish person, because if you are the kind of man that mostly lives his life by " what can I do for others", you won't approach this woman with " what can she do for me" type of mentality. It is only much later on, when you already established some sort of attachment to this person, you start noticing that she is not giving back .. This is when the relationship starts to suck - when you realize that this person can not and will not care as much as you do.
Does it sound familiar ?

As far as my recovery goes - thank you for asking.. I work almost full time, but I have pretty serious complications although by looking at me you would never know. However, I think everything that happened set the events up in a way that my relationship evolved and got better than it ever has. I guess to win some, you have to lose some.
koolman
koolman
"Does it sound familiar?"

Yep.

We all have to be A LITTLE selfish, because, when confronted by other selfish people, it's the only way to survive. But it's nice when there's A LITTLE give too.

Thanks, and glad that, in an odd way, your physical condition made your relationship closer...and stronger.